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monopolized them ; he was born to govern the
brute creation, but he is become their tyrant. If
an epicure now shall happen to surfeit on his last



54 CITIZEN or THE WORLD.

night's feast, twenty animals the next day are to
undergo the most exquisite tortures, in order to
provoke his appetite to another guilty meal. Hail,
O ye simple, honest brahmins of the East ; ye inof-
fensive friends of all that were born to happiness as
well as you ; you never sought a short-lived plea-
sure from the miseries of other creatures ! You
never studied the tormenting arts of ingenious re-
finement ; you never surfeited upon a guilty meal !
How much more purified and refined are all your
sensations than ours ! you distinguish every ele-
ment with the utmost precision ; a stream un tasted
before is new luxury, a change of air is a new
banquet, too refined for Western imaginations to
conceive.

Though the Europeans do not hold the transmi-
gration of souls, yet one of their doctors has, with
great force of argument, and great plausibility of
reasoning, endeavoured to prove, that the bodies
of animals are the habitations of demons and wick-
ed spirits, which are obliged to reside in these pri-
sons till the resurrection pronounces their everlast-
ing punishment ; but are previously condemned to
suffer all the pains and hardships inflicted upon
them by man, or by each other, here. If this be
the case, it may frequently happen, that while we
whip pigs to death, or boil live lobsters, we are
putting some old acquaintance, some near relation,
to excruciating tortures, and are serving him up to
the very same table where he was once the most
welcome companion.

" Kabul," says the Zendavesta, *' was born on
the rushy banks of the river Mawra ; his posses-
sions were great, and his luxuries kept pace with
the affluence of his fortune; he hated the harmless
brahmins, and despised their holy religion ; every
day his table was decked out with the flesh of an
hundred different animals, and his cooks had an



cvnzi:^ OF the world. 65

Imndred different ways of dressing it, to solicit
even satiety.

** Notwithstanding all his eating, he did not ar-
rive at old age ; he died of a surfeit, caused by
intemperance : upon this, his soul was carried off,
in order to take its trial before a select assembly of
the souls of those animals which his gluttony had
caused to be slain, and who were now appointed
his judges.

" He trembled before a tribunal, to every mem-
ber of which he had formerly acted as an un-
merciful tyrant : he sought for pity, but found
none disposed to grant it. Does he not remember,
cries the angry boar, to what agonies I was put,
not to satisfy his hunger, but his vanity ? I was first
hunted to death, and my flesh scarce thought worthy
of coming once to his table. Were my advice fol-
lowed, he should do penance in the shape of an hog,
which in life he most resembled.

*' I am rather, cries a sheep upon the bench, for
having him suffer under the appearance of a lamb ;
we may then send him through four or five trans-
migrations in the space of a month. Were my
voice of any weight in the assembly, cries a calf,
he should rather assume such a form as mine ; I
was bled every day, in order to make my flesh
white, and at last killed without mercy. Would
it not be wiser, cries a hen, to cram him in the
shape of a fowl, and then smother him in his own
blood, as I was served ? The majority of the as-
sembly were pleased with this punishment, and were
going to condemn him without farther delay, when
the ox rose up to give his opinion : I am informed,
says this counsellor, that tlie prisoner at the bar has
left a wife with child behind him. By my knowledge
in divination, I foresee that this child will be a son,
decrepit, feeble, sickly, a plague to himself, and all
about him. What say you, then, my companions.



56 CITIZEN OF THE AVORLD.

if we condemn the father to animate the body of his
own son ; and by this means make him feel in him-
self those miseries his intemperance must otherwise
have entailed upon his posterity ? The whole court
applauded the ingenuity of his torture ; they thank-
ed him for his advice. Kabul was driven once more
to revisit the earth ; and his soul, in the body of
his own son, passed a period of thirty years, loaded
with misery, anxiety, and disease."



LETTER XVI.



From the Same.



I KNOW not whether I am more obliged to the
Chinese missionaries for the instruction I have re-
ceived from them, or prejudiced by the falsehoods
they have made me believe. By them I was told
that the Pope was universally allowed to be a man,
and placed at the head of the church ; in Eng-
land, however, they plainly prove him to be a
whore in man*s clothes, and often burn him in
effigy as an impostor. A thousand books have been
written on either side of the question : })riests are
eternally disputing against each other ; and those
mouths that want argument are filled with abuse.
Which party must I believe, or shall I give credit
to neither ? When I survey the absurdities and
falsehoods with which the books of the Europeans
are filled, I tliank Heaven for having been born in
China, and that I have sagacity enough to detect
imposture.

The Europeans reproach us with false history
and fabulous chronology : how should they blush
to see their own books, many of which are written
by the doctors of their religion, filled with the most



CITIZEN OF THE WORLD. 57

monstrous fables, and attested with the utmost
solemnity. The bounds of a letter do not permit
me to mention all the absurdities of this kind, which
in my reading I have met with. I shall confine
myself to the accounts which some of their lettered
men give of the persons of some of the inhabitants
on our globe : and not satisfied with the most so-
lemn asseverations, they sometimes pretend to have
been eye-witnesses of what they describe.

A Christian doctor, in one of his principal per-
formances, * says, that it was not impossible for a
whole nation to have but one eye in the middle of
the forehead. He is not satisfied with leaving it
in doubt; but in another work,t assures us, that
the fact was certain, and that he himself was an
eye-witness of it. When, says he, / took a journey
into Ethiopia, in company with several other servants
of Christ, in order to preach the gospel, there I
beheld, in the southern provinces of that country, a
nation which had only one eye in the midst of their
foreheads.

You will no doubt be surprised, reverend Fum,
with this author's effrontery ; but, alas ! he is not
alone in this story : he has only borrowed it from se-
veral others who wrote before him. Solinus creates
another nation of Cyclops, the Arimaspians, who
inhabit those countries that border on the Caspian
Sea. This author goes on to tell us of a people of
India, who have but one leg and one eye, and yet
are e'k:tremely active, run with great swiftness, and
live by hunting. These people we scarcely know
how to pity or admire : but the men whom Pliny
calls Cynamolci, who have got the heads of dogs,
really deserve our compassion ; instead of language,
they express their sentiments by barking. Solinus



• Aiigustin. de Civit. Dei, lib. xvi. p. 422.

f Augustin. ad fratres in Eremo. Serm. xxxvii.



58 CITIZKN OF THE WORLD.

confirms what Pliny mentions ; and Simon Mayole,
a French bishop, talks of them as of particular
and familiar acquaintances. After passing the de-
serts of Egypt, says he, we meet xdth the Kunoke-
phaloi, who inhabit those regions that border on
Ethiopia ; they live by hunting ; they cannot
speak, but whistle; their chins resemble a serpent's
head; their hands are armed with long sharp
claws ; their breast resembles that of a grey-
hound ; and they excel in swiftness and agility.
Would you think it, my friend, that these odd
kind of people are, notwithstanding their figure,
excessively delicate ; not even an alderman's wife,
or Chinese mandarine, can excel them in this
particular. These people, continues our faithful
bishop, never refuse wine; love roast and boiled
meat: they are particularly curious in having their
meat well dressed, and spurn at it if in the least taint-
ed. When the Ptolemies reigned in Egypt (says
he a little farther on) those men with dogs* heads
taught grammar and music. For men who had no
voices to teach music, and who could not speak, to
teach grammar, is, I confess, a little extraordinary.
Did ever the disciples of Fohi broach any thing
more ridiculous?

Hitherto we have seen men with heads strangely
deformed, and with dogs* heads ; but what would
you say if you heard of men without any heads at
all ? Pomponius Mela, Sohnus, and Aulus Gel-
lius, describe them to our hand : " The Dlemiae
have a nose, eyes, and mouth on their breasts ; or,
as others will have it, placed on their shoulders."

One would think that these authors had an anti-
pathy to the human form, and were resolved to
make a new figure of their own : but let us do them
justice. Though they sometimes deprive us of a
leg, an arm, a head, or some such trifling part of
the body, they often as liberally bestow upon us



CITIZf:N or THE WOKLD. 59

something that we wanted before. Simon Mayole
seems our particular friend in this respect ; if he
has denied heads to one part of mankind, he has
given tails to another. He describes many of the
English of his time, which is not more than an
hundred years ago, as having tails. His own words
are as follow : In England there are some families
which have tails ^ as a punishment for deriding an
Augustin friar sent by St Gregory, and who preach-
ed in Dorsetshire. They sewed the tails of different
animals to his clothes; but soon they found that those
tails entailed on them and their posterity for ever.
It is certain that the author had some ground for
this description. Many of the English wear tails
to their wigs to this very day, as a mark, I sup-
pose, of the antiquity of their families, and perhaps
as a symbol of those tails with which they were for-
merly distinguished by nature.

You see, my friend, there is nothing so ridicu-
lous that has not at some time been said by some
philosopher. The writers of books in Europe seem
to think themselves authorized to say what they
please ; and an ingenious philosopher among them *
has openly asserted, that he would undertake to
persuade the whole republic of readers to believe,
that the sun was neither the cause of light nor
heat, if he could only get six philosophers on his
side. Farewell.



LETTER XVH.

From the Same.

Were an Asiatic politician to read the treaties of
peace and friendship that have been annually mak-

* Fontenelle.



60 CITIZKN OF THE WORLD.

ing for more than a luiiulrcd years among the in-
habitants of Europe, he would probably be sur-
prised how it should ever happen that Christian
princes could quarrel among each other. Their
compacts for peace are drawn up with the utmost
precision, and ratified with the greatest solemnity ;
to these each party promises a sincere and inviola-
ble obedience, and all wears the appearance of
open friendship and unreserved reconciliation.

Yet, notwithstanding those treaties, the people
of Europe are almost continually at war. There is
nothing more easy than to break a treaty ratified in
all the usual forms, and yet neither party be the
aggressor. One side, for instance, breaks a trifling
article by mistake ; the opposite party, upon this,
makes a small but premeditated reprisal ; this brings
on a return of greater from the other ; both sides
complain of injuries and infractions ; war is de-
clared ; they beat ; are beaten ; some two or three
hundred thousand men are killed ; they grow tired ;
leave off just where they began ; and so sit coolly
down to make new treaties.

The English and French seem to place them-
selves foremost among the champion states of Eu-
rope. Though parted by a narrow sea, yet are
they entirely of opposite characters ; and from
their vicinity are taught to fear and admire each
other. They are at present engaged in a very
destructive war, have already spilled much blood,
are excessively irritated, and all upon account of
one side's desiring to wear greater quantities of
furs than the other.

The pretext of the war is about some lands a
thousand leagues off: a country cold, desolate,
and hideous ; a country belonging to a people who
were in possession for time immemorial. The
savages of Canada claim a property in the country
in dispute; they have all the pretensions which



CITIZP'.N OF TllK WORLD. 6l

long possession can confer. Here they had reigned
for ages without rivals in dominion, and knew no
enemies but the prowling bear or insidious tiger ;
their native forests produced all the necessaries of
life, and they found ample luxury in the enjoy-
ment. In this manner they might have continued
to live to eternity, had not the English been in-
formed that those countries produced furs in great
abundance. From that moment the country be-
came an object of desire : It was found that furs
were things very much wanted in England ; the
ladies edged some of tlieir clothes with furs, and
muffs were worn both by gentlemen and ladies.
In short, furs were found indispensably necessary
for the happiness of the state ; and the king was
consequently petitioned to grant, not only the
country of Canada, but all the savages belonging
to it, to the subjects of England, in order to have
the people supplied with proper quantities of this
necessary commodity.

So very reasonable a request was immediately
complied with, and large colonies were sent abroad
to procure furs, and take possession. The French,
who were equally in want of furs, (for they were as
fond of muffs and tippets as tlie English), made
the very same request to their monarch, and met
with the same gracious reception from their king,
who generously granted what was not his to give.
Wherever the French landed they called the coun-
try their own ; and the English took possession
wherever they came, upon the same equitable pre-
tensions. The harmless savages made no opposi-
tion ; and, could the intruders have agreed toge-
ther, they might peaceably have shared this deso-
late country between them ; but they quarrelled
about the boundaries of their settlements, about
grounds and rivers to which neither side could
shew any other right than that of power, and



Ci^ CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.

which neitlier could occupy but by usurpation.
Such is the contest, tliat no honest man can hear-
tily wish success to either party.

The war has continued for some time with va-
rious success. At first the French seemed victori-
ous ; but the English have of late dispossessed them
of the whole country in dispute. Think not, how-
ever, that success on one side is the harbinger of
peace ; on the contrary, both parties must be hear-
tily tired, to effect even a temporary reconciliation.
It should seem the business of the victorious party
to offer terms of peace ; but there are many in
England who, encouraged by success, are for still
protracting the w ar.

The best English politicians, however, are sensi-
ble, that to keep their present conquests would be
rather a burden than an advantage to them ; rather
a diminution of their strength than an increase of
power. It is in the politic as in the human consti-
tution ; if the limbs grow too large for the body,
their size, instead of improving, will diminish the
vigour of the whole. The colonies should always
bear an exact proportion to the mother country ;
when they grow populous, they grow powerful,
and by becoming powerful, they become inde})en-
dent also ; thus subordination is destroyed, and a
country swallowed up in the extent of its own
dominions. The Turkish empire would be more
formidable, were it less extensive, — were it not for
those countries which it can neither command, nor
give entirely away, — which it is obliged ^o pro-
tect, but from which it has no power to exact obe-
dience.

Yet, obvious as these truths are, there are many
Englishmen who are for transplanting new colonies
into this late acquisition, for peopling the deserts
of Ameiica with the refuse of their countrymen,
and (as they express it) with the waste of an exu-



CITIZEN OF TUh: ^VORLD. 63

berant nation. But who are those unhappy crea-
tures who are to be thus drained away ? Not the
sickly, for they are unwelcome guests abroad as
well as at home ; nor the idle, for they would
starve as well behind the Apalachian mountains as
in the streets of London. This refuse is composed
of the laborious and enterprising, of such men as
can be serviceable to their country at home, of men
who ought to be regarded as the sinews of the peo-
ple, and cherished with every degree of political in-
dulgence. And what are the commodities which
this colony, when established, are to produce in
return ? why, raw silk, hemp, and tobacco. Eng-
land, therefore, must make an exchange of her
best and bravest subjects for raw silk, hemp, and
tobacco ; her hardy veterans and honest trades-
men must be trucked for a box of snuff or a silk
petticoat. Strange absurdity ! Sure the politics of
the Daures are not more strange, who sell their re-
ligion, their wives, and their liberty, for a glass
bead, or a paltry penknife. Farewell.



LETTER XVin.

From the Same.

The English love their wives with much passion,
the Hollanders with much prudence ; the English,
when they give their hands, frequently give their
hearts ; the Dutch give the hand, but keep the
heart wisely in their own possession. The English
love with violence, and expect violent love in re-
turn ; the Dutch are satisfied with the slightest
acknowledgment, for they give little awa}\ Tlie
English expend many of the matrimonial comforts
in the first year ; the Dutch frugally liusband out

28



64 CITIZEN OF THE M'ORLD.

their pleasures, and are always constant because
they are always indifferent.

There seems very little difference between a
Dutch bridegroom and a Dutch husband. Both
are equally possessed of the same cool unexpecting
serenity ; they can see neither Elysium nor Para-
dise behind the curtain ; and Yiffrow is not more
a goddess on the wedding-night, than after twenty
years matrimonial acquaintance. On the other
hand, many of the English marry in order to have
one happy month in their lives ; they seem incap-
able of looking beyond that period ; they unite in
hopes of iinding rapture, and disappointed in that,
disdain ever to accept of happiness. From hence
we see open hatred ensue ; or what is worse, con-
cealed disgust under the appearance of fulsome en-
dearment. Much formality, great ci\ility, and
studied compliments are exhibited in public ; cross
looks, sulky silence, or open recrimination, fill up
their hours of private entertainment.

Hence I am taught, whenever I see a new-mar-
ried couple more than ordinarily fond before faces,
to consider them as attempting to impose upon the
company or themselves ; either hating each other
heartily, or consuming that stock of love in the
beginning of their course, which should serve tliem
through their whole journey. Neither side should
expect those instances of kindness which are in-
consistent with true freedom or hap})iness to be-
stow. Love, when founded in the heart, will show
itself in a thousand unpremeditated salHes of fond-
ness ; but every cool deliberate exhibition of the
passion, only argues little understanding, or great
insincerity.

Choang was the fondest husband, and Hansi,
the most endearing wife in all the kingdom of
Korea : they were a patteri> of conjugal bliss ; the
inhabitants of the country around saw, and envied



CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.



63



their felicity : wherever Choang came, Hansi was
sure to follow ; and in all the pleasures of Hansi,
Choang was admitted a partner. They walked
hand in hand wherever they appeared, shewing
every mark of mutual satisfaction, embracing, kiss-
ing, their mouths were for ever joined, and, to
speak in the language of anatomy, it was with
them one perpetual anastomosis.

Their' love was so great, that it was thought
nothing could interrupt their mutual peace ;
when an accident happened, w^hich, in some mea-
sure, diminished the husband's assurance of his
wife's fidelity ; for love so refined as his w^as sub-
ject to a thousand little disquietudes.

Happening to go one day alone among the
tombs that lay at some distance from his house,
he there perceived a lady dressed in the deepest
mourning (being clothed all over in white), fan-
ning the wet clay that was raised over one of the
graves w4th a large fan which she held in her
hand. Choang, who had early been taught wis-
dom in the school of Lao, w^as unable to assign
a cause for her present employment ; and coming
up, civilly demanded the reason. Alas, replied
the lady, her eyes bathed in tears, how is it pos-
sible to survive the loss of my husband, who lies
buried in this grave ! he was the best of men, the
tenderest of husbands ; with his dying breath he
bid me never marry again till the earth over his
grave should be dry ; and here you see me steadi-
ly resolving to obey his will, and endeavouring to
dry it with my fan. I have employed two whole
days in fulfilling his commands, and am determin-
ed not to marry till they are punctually obeyed,
even though his grave should take up four days in
drying.

Choang, who was struck with the widow's
beauty, could not, however, avoid smiling at her

VOL. III. E



60 CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.

haste to be married ; but concealing the cause of
his mirth, civilly invited her home, adding, that
he had a wife who might be capable of giving her
some consolation. As soon as he and his guest
were returned, he imparted to Hansi in private
what he had seen, and could not avoid expressing
his uneasiness, that such might be his own case
if his dearest wife should one day happen to sur-
vive him.

It is im}X)ssible to describe Hansi's resentment
at so unkind a suspicion. As her passion for him
was not only great, but extremely delicate, she
employed tears, anger, froXvns, and exclamations,
to chide his suspicions ; the widow herself was in-
veighed against ; and Hansi declared, she was re-
solved never to sleep under the same roof with
a wretch, who, like her, could be guilty of such
barefaced inconstancy. The night was cold and
stormy ; however, the stranger was obliged to seek
another lodging, for Choang was not disposed to
resist, and Hansi would have her way.

Tlie wddow had scarcely been gone an hour,
when an old disciple of Choang's, whom he had
not seen for many years, came to pay him a visit.
He was received with the utmost ceremony, plac-
ed in the most honourable seat at supper, and
the wine began to circulate with great freedom.
Choang and Hansi exhibited open marks of mu-
tual tenderness, and unfeigned reconciliation : no-
thing could equal their apparent happiness ; so
fond an husband, so obedient a wife, few could
behold without regretting their own infelicity :
When, lo ! their happiness was at once disturbed
by a most fatal accident. Choang fell lifeless in
an apoplectic fit upon the floor. Every method
was used, but in vain, for his recovery. Hansi
was at first inconsolable for his death: after some
hours, however, she found spirits to read his last



citizp:n of the world. 67

will. The ensuing day, she began to moralize
and talk wisdom ; the next day, she was able to
comfort the young disciple ; and, on the third,
to shorten a long story, they both agreed to be
married.

There was now no longer mourning in the
apartments ; the body of Choang was now thrust
into an old coffin, and placed in one of the mean-
est rooms, there to lie unattended until the time
prescribed by law for his interment. In the mean
time, Hansi and the young disciple were arrayed
in the most magnificent habits ; the bride wore in
her nose a jewel of immense price, and her lover
was dressed in all the finery of his former master,
together with a pair of artificial whiskers that
reached down to his toes. The hour of their nup-
tials was arrived ; the whole family sympathized
with their approaching happiness ; the apartments
were brightened up with lights that diffused the
most exquisite perfume, and a lustfe more bright
than noon-day. The lady expected her youthful
lover in an inner apartment With impatience ;
when his servant, approaching with terror in his
countenance, informed her, that his master was
fallen into a fit which would certainly be mortal,



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