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craft, containing the boatman, and a gentleman in a woolly white hat,
with a bright pea-green coat, and a basket on his knee. "By jingo,
here's Jemmy Green!" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, taking his telescope from
his eye, and giving his thigh a hearty slap. "How unkimmon lucky! The
werry man of all others I should most like to see. You know James Green,
don't you?" addressing the Yorkshireman - "young James Green, junior,
of Tooley Street - everybody knows him - most agreeable young man in
Christendom - fine warbler - beautiful dancer - everything that a young man
should be."

"How are you James?" cried Jorrocks, seizing him by the hand as his
friend stepped upon deck; but whether it was the nervousness occasioned
by the rocking of the wherry, or the shaking of the step-ladder up the
side of the steamer, or Mr. Jorrocks's new turban cap, but Mr. Green,
with an old-maidish reserve, drew back from the proffered embrace of his
friend. "You have the adwantage of me, sir," said he, fidgeting back
as he spoke, and eyeing Mr. Jorrocks with unmeasured surprise - "Yet
stay - if I'm not deceived it's Mr. Jorrocks - so it is!" and thereupon
they joined hands most cordially, amid exclamations of, "'Ow are you,
J - - ?" '"Ow are you, G - - ?" "'Ow are you, J - - ?" "So glad to see you,
J - - " "So glad to see you, G - - " "So glad to see you, J - - " "And pray
what may you have in your basket?" inquired Mr. Jorrocks, putting his
hand to the bottom of a neat little green-and-white willow woman's
basket, apparently for the purpose of ascertaining its weight. "Only my
clothes, and a little prowision for the woyage. A baked pigeon, some
cold maccaroni, and a few pectoral lozenges. At the bottom are my
Margate shoes, with a comb in one, and a razor in t'other; then comes
the prog, and at the top, I've a dickey and a clean front for to-morrow.
I abominates travelling with much luggage. Where, I ax, is the use of
carrying nightcaps, when the innkeepers always prowide them, without
extra charge? The same with regard to soap. Shave, I say, with what you
find in your tray. A wet towel makes an excellent tooth-brush, and a
pen-knife both cuts and cleans your nails. Perhaps you'll present
your friend to me," added he in the same breath, with a glance at the
Yorkshireman, upon whose arm Mr. Jorrocks was resting his telescope
hand. "Much pleasure," replied Mr. Jorrocks, with his usual urbanity.
"Allow me to introduce Mr. Stubbs, Mr. Green, Mr. Green, Mr. Stubbs: now
pray shake hands," added he, "for I'm sure you'll be werry fond of each
other"; and thereupon Jemmy, in the most patronising manner, extended
his two forefingers to the Yorkshireman, who presented him with one in
return. For the information of such of our readers as may never have
seen Mr. James Green, senior junior, either in Tooley Street, Southwark,
where the patronymic name abounds, or at Messrs. Tattersall's, where he
generally exhibits on a Monday afternoon, we may premise, that though a
little man in stature, he is a great man in mind and a great swell in
costume. On the present occasion, as already stated, he had on a woolly
white hat, his usual pea-green coat, with a fine, false, four-frilled
front to his shirt, embroidered, plaited, and puckered, like a lady's
habit-shirt. Down the front were three or four different sorts of studs,
and a butterfly brooch, made of various coloured glasses, sat in
the centre. His cravat was of a yellow silk with a flowered border,
confining gills sharp and pointed that looked up his nostrils; his
double-breasted waistcoat was of red and yellow tartan with blue glass
post-boy buttons; and his trousers, which were very wide and cut out
over the foot of rusty-black chamois-leather opera-boots, were of a
broad blue stripe upon a white ground. A curly, bushy, sandy-coloured
wig protruded from the sides of his woolly white hat, and shaded a
vacant countenance, which formed the frontispiece of a great chuckle
head. Sky-blue gloves and a stout cane, with large tassels, completed
the rigging of this borough dandy. Altogether he was as fine as any
peacock, and as vain as the proudest.

"And 'ow is Mrs. J - - ?" inquired Green with the utmost affability - "I
hopes she's uncommon well - pray, is she of your party?" looking round.
"Why, no," replied Mr. Jorrocks, "she's off at Tooting at her mother's,
and I'm just away, on the sly, to stay a five-pound at Margate this
delightful weather. 'Ow long do you remain?" "Oh, only till Monday
morning - I goes every Saturday; in fact," added he in an undertone,
"I've a season ticket, so I may just as well use it, as stay poking in
Tooley Street with the old folks, who really are so uncommon glumpy,
that it's quite refreshing to get away from them."

"That's a pity," replied Mr. Jorrocks, with one of his benevolent looks.
"But 'ow comes it, James, you are not married? You are not a bouy now,
and should be looking out for a home of your own." "True, my dear
J - - , true," replied Mr. Green; "and I'll tell you wot, our principal
book-keeper and I have made many calculations on the subject, and being
a man of literature like yourself, he gave it as his opinion the last
time we talked the matter over, that it would only be avoiding Silly and
running into Crab-beds; which I presume means Quod or the Bench. Unless
he can have a wife 'made to order,' he says he'll never wed. Besides,
the women are such a bothersome encroaching set. I declare I'm so
pestered with them that I don't know vich vay to turn. They are always
tormenting of me. Only last week one sent me a specification of what
she'd marry me for, and I declare her dress, alone, came to more than I
have to find myself in clothes, ball-and concert-tickets, keep an 'oss,
go to theatres, buy lozenges, letter-paper, and everything else with.
There were bumbazeens, and challies, and merinos, and crape, and gauze,
and dimity, and caps, bonnets, stockings, shoes, boots, rigids, stays,
ringlets; and, would you believe it, she had the unspeakable audacity to
include a bustle! It was the most monstrous specification and proposal
I ever read, and I returned it by the twopenny post, axing her if she
hadn't forgotten to include a set of false teeth. Still, I confess, I'm
tired of Tooley Street. I feel that I have a soul above hemp, and was
intended for a brighter sphere; but vot can one do, cooped up at home
without men of henergy for companions? No prospect of improvement
either; for I left our old gentleman alarmingly well just now, pulling
about the flax and tow, as though his dinner depended upon his
exertions. I think if the women would let me alone, I might have some
chance, but it worries a man of sensibility and refinement to have them
always tormenting of one. - I've no objection to be led, but, dash my
buttons, I von't be driven." "Certainly not," replied Mr. Jorrocks, with
great gravity, jingling the silver in his breeches-pocket. "It's an old
saying, James, and times proves it true, that you may take an 'oss to
the water but you carn't make him drink - and talking of 'osses, pray,
how are you off in that line?" "Oh, werry well - uncommon, I may say - a
thoroughbred, bang tail down to the hocks, by Phantom, out of Baron
Munchausen's dam - gave a hatful of money for him at Tatts'. - five
fives - a deal of tin as times go. But he's a perfect 'oss, I assure
you - bright bay with four black legs, and never a white hair upon him.
He's touched in the vind, but that's nothing - I'm not a fox-hunter, you
know, Mr. Jorrocks; besides, I find the music he makes werry useful in
the streets, as a warning to the old happle women to get out of the way.
Pray, sir," turning to the Yorkshireman with a jerk, "do you dance?" - as
the boat band, consisting of a harp, a flute, a lute, a long horn, and
a short horn, struck up a quadrille, - and, without waiting for a reply,
our hero sidled past, and glided among the crowd that covered the deck.

"A fine young man, James," observed Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing Jemmy as he
elbowed his way down the boat - "fine young man - wants a little of his
father's ballast, but there's no putting old heads on young shoulders.
He's a beautiful dancer," added Mr. Jorrocks, putting his arm through
the Yorkshireman's, "let's go and see him foot it." Having worked their
way down, they at length got near the dancers, and mounting a ballast
box had a fine view of the quadrille. There were eight or ten couple at
work, and Jemmy had chosen a fat, dumpy, red-faced girl, in a bright
orange-coloured muslin gown, with black velvet Vandyked flounces, and
green boots - a sort of walking sunflower, with whom he was pointing his
toe, kicking out behind, and pirouetting with great energy and agility.
His male _vis-à-vis_ was a waistcoatless young Daniel Lambert, in white
ducks, and a blue dress-coat, with a carnation in his mouth, who with a
damsel in ten colours, reel'd to and fro in humble imitation. "Green
for ever!" cried Mr. Jorrocks, taking off his velvet cap and waving
it encouragingly over his head: "Green for ever! Go it Green!" and,
accordingly, Green went it with redoubled vigour. "Wiggins for ever!"
responded a female voice opposite, "I say, Wiggins!" which was followed
by a loud clapping of hands, as the fat gentleman made an astonishing
step. Each had his admiring applauders, though Wiggins "had the call"
among the ladies - the opposition voice that put him in nomination
proceeding from the mother of his partner, who, like her daughter, was a
sort of walking pattern book. The spirit of emulation lasted throughout
the quadrille, after which, sunflower in hand, Green traversed the deck
to receive the compliments of the company.

"You must be 'ungry," observed Mr. Jorrocks, with great politeness
to the lady, "after all your exertions," as the latter stood mopping
herself with a coarse linen handkerchief - "pray, James, bring your
partner to our 'amper, and let me offer her some refreshment," which was
one word for the Sunflower and two for himself, the sea breeze having
made Mr. Jorrocks what he called "unkimmon peckish." The hamper was
speedily opened, the knuckle of veal, the half ham, the aitch bone of
beef, the Dorking sausages (made in Drury Lane), the chickens, and
some dozen or two of plovers' eggs were exhibited, while Green, with
disinterested generosity, added his baked pigeon and cold maccaroni to
the common stock. A vigorous attack was speedily commenced, and was kept
up, with occasional interruptions by Green running away to dance, until
they hove in sight of Herne Bay, which caused an interruption to a
very interesting lecture on wines, that Mr. Jorrocks was in the act of
delivering, which went to prove that port and sherry were the parents of
all wines, port the father, and sherry the mother; and that Bluecellas,
hock, Burgundy, claret, Teneriffe, Madeira, were made by the addition
of water, vinegar, and a few chemical ingredients, and that of all
"humbugs," pale sherry was the greatest, being neither more nor less
than brown sherry watered. Mr. Jorrocks then set to work to pack up the
leavings in the hamper, observing as he proceeded, that wilful waste
brought woeful want, and that "waste not, want not," had ever been the
motto of the Jorrocks family.

It was nearly eight o'clock ere the _Royal Adelaide_ touched the point
of the far-famed Margate Jetty, a fact that was announced as well by the
usual bump, and scuttle to the side to get out first, as by the band
striking up _God save the King_, and the mate demanding the tickets of
the passengers. The sun had just dropped beneath the horizon, and the
gas-lights of the town had been considerately lighted to show him to
bed, for the day was yet in the full vigour of life and light.

Two or three other cargoes of cockneys having arrived before, the whole
place was in commotion, and the beach swarmed with spectators as anxious
to watch this last disembarkation as they had been to see the first. By
a salutary regulation of the sages who watch over the interests of the
town, "all manner of persons," are prohibited from walking upon the
jetty during this ceremony, but the platform of which it is composed
being very low, those who stand on the beach outside the rails, are just
about on a right level to shoot their impudence cleverly into the ears
of the new-comers who are paraded along two lines of gaping, quizzing,
laughing, joking, jeering citizens, who fire volleys of wit and satire
upon them as they pass. "There's leetle Jemmy Green again!" exclaimed a
nursery-maid with two fat, ruddy children in her arms, "he's a beauty
without paint!" "Hallo, Jorrocks, my hearty! lend us your hand," cried a
brother member of the Surrey Hunt. Then there was a pointing of fingers
and cries of "That's Jorrocks! that's Green!" "That's Green! that's
Jorrocks!" and a murmuring titter, and exclamations of "There's
Simpkins! how pretty he is!" "But there's Wiggins, who's much nicer."
"My eye, what a cauliflower hat Mrs. Thompson's got!" "What a buck young
Snooks is!" "What gummy legs that girl in green has!" "Miss Trotter's
bustle's on crooked!" from the young ladies at Miss Trimmer's seminary
who were drawn up to show the numerical strength of the academy, and act
the part of walking advertisements. These observations were speedily
drowned by the lusty lungs of a flyman bellowing out, as Green passed,
"Hallo! my young brockley-sprout, are you here again? - now then for
the tizzy you owe me, - I have been waiting here for it ever since last
Monday morning." This salute produced an irate look and a shake of his
cane from Green, with a mutter of something about "imperance," and a
wish that he had his big fighting foreman there to thrash him. When they
got to the gate at the end, the tide of fashion became obstructed by the
kissings of husbands and wives, the greetings of fathers and sons, the
officiousness of porters, the cries of flymen, the importunities of
innkeepers, the cards of bathing-women, the salutations of donkey
drivers, the programmes of librarians, and the rush and push of the
inquisitive; and the waters of "comers" and "stayers" mingled in one
common flood of indescribable confusion.

Mr. Jorrocks, who, hamper in hand, had elbowed his way with persevering
resignation, here found himself so beset with friends all anxious to
wring his digits, that, fearful of losing either his bed or his
friends, he besought Green to step on to the "White Hart" and see about
accommodation. Accordingly Green ran his fingers through the bushy
sides of his yellow wig, jerked up his gills, and with a _négligé_ air
strutted up to that inn, which, as all frequenters of Margate know,
stands near the landing-place, and commands a fine view of the harbour.
Mr. Creed, the landlord, was airing himself at the door, or, as
Shakespeare has it, "taking his ease at his inn," and knowing Green of
old to be a most unprofitable customer, he did not trouble to move
his position farther than just to draw up one leg so as not wholly to
obstruct the passage, and looked at him as much as to say "I prefer your
room to your company." "Quite full here, sir," said he, anticipating
Green's question. "Full, indeed?" replied Jemmy, pulling up his
gills - "that's werry awkward, Mr. Jorrocks has come down with myself and
a friend, and we want accommodation." "Mr. Jorrocks, indeed!" replied
Mr. Creed, altering his tone and manner; "I'm sure I shall be delighted
to receive Mr. Jorrocks - he's one of the oldest customers I have - and
one of the best - none of your 'glass of water and toothpick'
gentleman - real downright, black-strap man, likes it hot and strong from
the wood - always pays like a gentleman - never fights about three-pences,
like some people I know," looking at Jemmy. "Pray, what rooms may you
require?" "Vy, there's myself, Mr. Jorrocks, and Mr. Jorrocks's other
friend - three in all, and we shall want three good, hairy bedrooms."
"Well, I don't know," replied Mr. Creed, laughing, "about their
hairiness, but I can rub them with bear's grease for you." Jemmy pulled
up his gills and was about to reply, when Mr. Jorrocks's appearance
interrupted the dialogue. Mr. Creed advanced to receive him, blowing up
his porters for not having been down to carry up the hamper, which he
took himself and bore to the coffee-room, amid protestations of his
delight at seeing his worthy visitor.

Having talked over the changes of Margate, of those that were there,
those that were not, and those that were coming, and adverted to the
important topic of supper, Mr. Jorrocks took out his yellow and white
spotted handkerchief and proceeded to flop his Hessian boots, while Mr.
Creed, with his own hands, rubbed him over with a long billiard-table
brush. Green, too, put himself in form by the aid of the looking-glass,
and these preliminaries being adjusted, the trio sallied forth
arm-in-arm, Mr. Jorrocks occupying the centre. It was a fine, balmy
summer evening, the beetles and moths still buzzed and flickered in
the air, and the sea rippled against the shingly shore, with a low
indistinct murmur that scarcely sounded among the busy hum of men. The
shades of night were drawing on - a slight mist hung about the hills, and
a silvery moon shed a broad brilliant ray upon the quivering waters "of
the dark blue sea," and an equal light over the wide expanse of the
troubled town. How strange that man should leave the quiet scenes of
nature, to mix in myriads of those they profess to quit cities to avoid!
One turn to the shore, and the gas-lights of the town drew back the
party like moths to the streets, which were literally swarming with
the population. "Cheapside, at three o'clock in the afternoon," as Mr.
Jorrocks observed, was never fuller than Margate streets that evening.
All was lighted up - all brilliant and all gay - care seemed banished
from every countenance, and pretty faces and smart gowns reigned in its
stead. Mr. Jorrocks met with friends and acquaintances at every turn,
most of whom asked "when he came?" and "when he was going away?" Having
perambulated the streets, the sound of music attracted Jemmy Green's
attention, and our party turned into a long, crowded and brilliantly
lighted bazaar, just as the last notes of a barrel-organ at the far end
faded away, and a young woman in a hat and feathers, with a swan's-down
muff and tippet, was handed by a very smart young man in dirty white
Berlin gloves, and an equally soiled white waistcoat, into a sort of
orchestra above where, after the plaudits of the company had subsided,
she struck-up:

"If I had a donkey vot vouldn't go."

At the conclusion of the song, and before the company had time to
disperse, the same smart young gentleman, - having rehanded the young
lady from the orchestra and pocketed his gloves, - ran his fingers
through his hair, and announced from that eminence, that the spirited
proprietors of the Bazaar were then going to offer for public
competition in the enterprising shape of a raffle, in tickets, at one
shilling each, a most magnificently genteel, rosewood, general perfume
box fitted up with cedar and lined with red silk velvet, adorned with
cut-steel clasps at the sides, and a solid, massive, silver name-plate
at the top, with a best patent Bramah lock and six chaste and
beautifully rich cut-glass bottles, and a plate-glass mirror at the
top - a box so splendidly perfect, so beautifully unique, as alike
to defy the powers of praise and the critiques of the envious; and
thereupon he produced a flashy sort of thing that might be worth three
and sixpence, for which he modestly required ten subscribers, at a
shilling each, adding, "that even with that number the proprietors would
incur a werry heavy loss, for which nothing but a boundless sense of
gratitude for favours past could possibly recompense them." The youth's
eloquence and the glitter of the box reflecting, as it did at every
turn, the gas-lights both in its steel and glass, had the desired
effect - shillings went down, and tickets went off rapidly, until
only three remained. "Four, five, and ten, are the only numbers now
remaining," observed the youth, running his eye up the list and wetting
his pencil in his mouth. "Four, five and ten! ten, four, five! five,
four, ten! are the only numbers now vacant for this werry genteel and
magnificent rosewood perfume-box, lined with red velvet, cut-steel
clasps, a silver plate for the name, best patent Bramah lock, and six
beautiful rich cut-glass bottles, with a plate glass mirror in the
lid - and only four, five, and ten now vacant!" "I'll take ten," said
Green, laying down a shilling. "Thank you, sir - only four and five now
wanting, ladies and gentlemen - pray, be in time - pray, be in time! This
is without exception the most brilliant prize ever offered for public
competition. There were only two of these werry elegant boxes made, - the
unfortunate mechanic who executed them being carried off by that
terrible malady, the cholera morbus, - and the other is now in the
possession of his most Christian Majesty the King of the French. Only
four and five wanting to commence throwing for this really perfect
specimen of human ingenuity - only four and five!" "I'll take them,"
cried Green, throwing down two shillings more - and then the table was
cleared - the dice box produced, and the crowd drew round. "Number
one! - who holds number one?" inquired the keeper, arranging the paper,
and sucking the end of his pencil. A young gentleman in a blue jacket
and white trousers owned the lot, and, accordingly, led off the game.
The lottery-keeper handed the box, and put in the dice - rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, plop, and lift up - "seven and four are
eleven" - "now again, if you please, sir," putting the dice into the
box - rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, plop, and
lift up - a loud laugh - "one and two make three" - the youth bit his
lips; - rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, plop - a
pause - and lift up - "threes!" - "six, three, and eleven, are twenty."
"Now who holds number two? - what lady or gentleman holds number two?
Pray, step forward!" The Sunflower drew near - Green looked confused - she
fixed her eye upon him, half in fear, half in entreaty - would he offer
to throw for her? No, by Jove, Green was not so green as all that came
to, and he let her shake herself. She threw twenty-two, thereby putting
an extinguisher on the boy, and raising Jemmy's chance considerably.
"Three" was held by a youngster in nankeen petticoats, who would
throw for himself, and shook the box violently enough to be heard at
Broadstairs. He scored nineteen, and, beginning to cry immediately, was
taken home. Green was next, and all eyes turned upon him, for he was a
noted hand. He advanced to the table with great sangfroid, and, turning
back the wrists of his coat, exhibited his beautiful sparkling paste
shirt buttons, and the elegant turn of his taper hand, the middle finger
of which was covered with massive rings. He took the box in a _négligé_
manner, and without condescending to shake it, slid the dice out upon
the table by a gentle sideway motion - "sixes!" cried all, and down the
marker put twelve. At the second throw, he adopted another mode. As soon
as the dice were in, he just chucked them up in the air like as many
halfpence, and down they came five and six - "eleven," said the marker.
With a look of triumph Green held the box for the third time, which he
just turned upside down, and lo, on uncovering, there stood two - "ones!"
A loud laugh burst forth, and Green looked confused. "I'm so glad!"
whispered a young lady, who had made an unsuccessful "set" at Jemmy the
previous season, in a tone loud enough for him to hear. "I hope he'll
lose," rejoined a female friend, rather louder. "That Jemmy Green is my
absolute abhorrence," observed a third. "'Orrible man, with his nasty
vig," observed the mamma of the first speaker - "shouldn't have my darter
not at no price." Green, however, headed the poll, having beat the
Sunflower, and had still two lots in reserve. For number five, he threw
twenty-five, and was immediately outstripped, amid much laughter and
clapping of hands from the ladies, by number six, who in his turn fell
a prey to number seven. Between eight and nine there was a very
interesting contest who should be lowest, and hopes and fears were at
their altitude, when Jemmy Green again turned back his coat-wrist to
throw for number ten. His confidence had forsaken him a little, as
indicated by a slight quivering of the under-lip, but he managed to
conceal it from all except the ladies, who kept too scrutinising an
eye upon him. His first throw brought sixes, which raised his spirits
amazingly; but on their appearance a second time, he could scarcely


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