Samuel Rowlands.

Greenes ghost havnting conie-catchers / Wherein is set down, the arte of humouring. The arte of carrying stones. Will. St. lift. Ia. Fost. law. Ned Bro. catch. and Blacke Robins kindnesse. With the conceits of Doctor Pinch-backe a notable makeshift. Ten times more pleasant then anything yet publishe online

. (page 1 of 4)
Online LibrarySamuel RowlandsGreenes ghost havnting conie-catchers / Wherein is set down, the arte of humouring. The arte of carrying stones. Will. St. lift. Ia. Fost. law. Ned Bro. catch. and Blacke Robins kindnesse. With the conceits of Doctor Pinch-backe a notable makeshift. Ten times more pleasant then anything yet publishe → online text (page 1 of 4)
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^ Wherein is fet dow7ie,

The Arte of Humouring.

The Arte of carrying Stones.

Will. St. Lift.

la. Foft. Law.

Ned Bro. Catch, and

Blacke Robins Kindneffe.

With the conceits of Dodlor Pinch-backe a
notable Makefhift.

Ten times more pleafant then any thing yet
piihliJJied of this matter.

Noil ad itnitandiivt, fed ad eiiitandtim.


Printed for R. lack/on^ and I, Nor thy

and are to be fold in Fleetftreete,

a little aboiie the Conduit,





chants, Apprentlfes, Farmers, and
plaine countrimen, health.

T is moft true, Gentlemen, and wo-
fuU experience dayly teacheth vs,
that the more carefull Princes are in
erefling & eftablifliing good lawes,
for the rooting out of vice in the
common wealth, the more repug-
nant (the diuell altogether predomi-
nant ouer them) do euil difpofed per-
fons, caterpillers, and the off-fcumme of the world (and ther-
fore to be reie6led and excommunicated from the fellowfhip
of all honefl men) oppofe themfelues againft God and good
gouernement, and in fteede of an honeft and ciuill cariage
(which the Lawe prefcribes them) betake them to a moft
hatefull, vicious, and deteflable life : Who, as they may well
be compared to vipers, moft venimous and fpitefull beafts,
that for their venime and poifon are hated and fhunned of all
men, as moffc preiudiciall creatures : fo thefe bafe people, not
once thinking of an honeft courfe of life, trufting vpon their
owne mother wits, dayly deuife newe fliifts and policies, to
fleece the plaine dealing man, and by that meanes growe in-
to more hate amongft honeft men, then do the hated lewes
at this day: and the name of Conicatchers is fo odious, that
now a dayes it is had vp, and vfed for an opprobrious name
for euerie one that fheweth the leaft occafion of deceit. The
bookes that were not long ago fet forth, concerning Conie-
catching and croffe-biting, and the difcouerie of each (if anie
fparke of grace were) might haue beene fo manie reftraints

A 2 and


The Epiille

and bridles to call them from that abominable life, but they
that are giuen ouer to their owne hearts luft, with all their
might inueigh both againft them and their Author.

I haue therefore, Gentlemen, as one inforced (amove patriae)
taken in hand to publifli this little Pamphlet (which by a very
friend came by a chance to my hands, and adding fomewhat
of mine owne knowledge, and vpon verie credible informa-
tion) moffc neceffarie in my mind for the good of the com-
mon wealth, both for all men to fee, what groffe villanies are
now pra6lifed in the bright Sunne-fhine, that thereby they
may be forewarned to take heede how they conuerfe with
fuch cofoning companions : as alfo a iuft checke and controll
to fuch wicked liuers, that they perceiuing their goodneffe fet
abroch, may with remorfe and penitencie forfake their abo-
minable courfe of life, and betake them to a more honeft and
ciuill behauiour. If any with the fpider heere feeke to fucke
poifon, let fuch a one take heede, that in praftifmg his villany
he chaunce commence Bachelor in Whittington Colledge,
and fo in good time take his degrees and proceede Doctor,
and thence with a folemne proceffion take poffeffion of do-
6lor Stories cappe ; to which fome of the worfhipfull compa-
nie of Conicatchers haue worthily heretofore attained.

In this Treatife (louing countrimen) you fhall fee what
fhifts this crue of helhounds haue put in pra6life fmce the
bookes of Conicatching came forth, vnder thefe names, viz.
The Art of Humoring, TJie Art of carrying Jlones ; W.St Lift,
la. laivc. Ned Br. catch, and Blacke Robins kindneffe: Wher-
in are manifefted the nature of Humorifts, fuch as can infmu-
ate themfelues into euerie mans companie : & as they fee him
addi6led, fo will they verfe vpon him, what policies they haue
to purloine goods out of fhops vnder the pretence of plain-
neffe, what fhifts they haue to cofen poore Alewiues, by the
art of carrying ftones, what inconuenience may come by fol-
lowing flattering ftrumpets, I know not I what fliould be the
caufe why fo innumerable harlots and Curtizans abide about
London, but becaufe that good lawes are not looked vnto :
is there not one appointed for the apprehending of fuch hell-


moths, that eat a man out of bodie & foule ? And yet there be
more notorious ftrumpets & their mates about the Citie and
the fuburbs, then euer were before the Marfhall was appoin-
ted : idle mates I meane, that vnder the habit of a Gentleman
or feruing man, think themfelues free from the whip, although
they can giue no honeft account of their life. I could wifli, and
fo it is to be wifhed of euery honeft subie6l, that Amafis lawe
were receiued, who ordained that euerie man at the yeares
end fhould giue an account to the Magiftrate how hee liued,
and he that did not fo, or could not make an account of an
honeft life to be put to death as a fellon, without fauor or par-
don : What then fhould become of a number of our vpftart
gallants, that Hue only by the fweate of other mens browes,
and are the decay of the forwardeft Gentlemen and beft wits ?
Then fhould we haue fewer conicatching ftrumpets, who are
the verie caufes of all the plagues that happen to this flouri-
fhing common wealth. They are the deftru6lion of fo manie
Gentlemen in England. By them many Lordfhips come to
mine. What dangers growe by dallying with fuch vnchaft Li-
bertines, and what inconuenience followes by their inordlnat
pleafures, let thofe that haue had wofull experience and mai-
fter Surgeon together teftifie : nay, they not onely indanger
the bodie by lothfom difeafes, but ingraue a perpetuall fhame
in the forehead of the partie, and finally confume his foule and
make him fit for the diuell.

To leaue thefe bafe companions (that can be by no wholfom
counfell, nor aduifed perfwafions bee diffwaded from their
lothfom kind of life, nor called to any honeft courfe of lining)
in the dregges of their difhonefty. Would it pleafe the hono-
rable and worfhipfull of the land to take order for the cutting
off of thefe cofoners, and confuming cankers of this common
wealth, they fhould not only caufe a bleffmg to be powred on
this flourifhing ftate, but haue the prayers of euery good fub-
ie6l for their profperous healths and welfare. And thus Gen-
tlemen, I conclude with this farewell : God either conuert or
confound fuch bafe companions.

Yours to vfe,
S. R.

To the Reader.

Se andperufe not with a curious eye,

For Truth offs blainde, yet neiier telleih lie.
I tell not /, what forraine men Jiaite done,
But follow that zvhich othei's haue begun.
No learned Clearke in Schooles that vfe to write,

But Enuie makes their labours forne to fpite.
What then JJiall I, that write a homely Jlile,
Thinhe but to haue a homely fcoffing /mile.
But thefe and thofe that either inocke orjkorne,

Would they might weare (f aire fight) A6leons home.
But you kifid friends, that loueyour countries wealth,

Vouch of my labours, good fortune guide yoiir health.
To pleafure mofl, and profit all's my end.

My greatefl care to pleafe both foe and friend.
Reade then kifid friends, my trauell heerc you haue,
I looke for nought, nought but your loues I craue.


haunting Conlcatchers.

Here hath beene of late dales pub-
hfhed two merrie and pithie Pam-
phlets of the arte of Conicatching :
wherin the Author hath fufficiently
expreffed his experiece, as alfo his
loue to his Countrie. Neuerthe-
leffe with the Authors leaue, I will
ouerlooke fome lawe tearmes ex-
preffed in the firfl part of Conicatching : whereunto, as the
Author faith, is neceffarilie required three parties : The fet-
ter, the Verfer, and the Barnacle. Indeed I haue heard fome
retainers to this ancient trade difpute of his proceedings
in this cafe, and by them in a full Synode of quart pots it
was thorowlie examined and concluded, that there were
no fuch names as he hath fet downe, nor anie cheating
Arte fo chriftened as Conicatching. Marie, in effe6l there
is the like vnderhand trafifique daylie vfed and experien-
ced among fome fewe ftart vp Gallants difperfb about the
fuburbs of London, who tearmes him that drawes the fifh
to the bait, the Beater, and not the Setter: the Tauerne
where they go, the Bufh, and the foole fo caught, the Bird. As
for Conicatching, they cleape it Batfowling, the wine the
Strap, and the cards the Limetwigs. Now for the compaf-
fmg of a woodcocke to worke on, and the fetching him into
the wine bench of his wracke, is right beating the bufli.
The good affe is he will be dealt vpon, flouping to the lure :
if he be fo wife as to keep aloofe, a Haggard, And he whom


Greenes Ghoft

he makes Verfer the Retriuer, and the Barnacle the

But all this breakes no fquare, fo long as we concurre
in eodem fuhie£lo : yet I wifh, that as he hath looked into
thefe wicked a6lions opened therein, fo he had alfo looked
into other groffe finnes, which are feeded in the hearts of
fundrie perfons. Extortion had beene a large theame to
haue wrought vpon: and with the Vfurers bagges full of
gold he might haue handled another pretie Treatife: He
might haue brought forth luftice weying bread, and the
Baker putting his eares in the ballance to make euen
weight. He fliould haue perfonated the Thames rnoft piti-
fully complaining, what monftrous hauocke the Brew-
ers make of her water, without all remorfe or compaffi-
on : and how they put in willowe leaues and broome buds
into their woort in fteed of hoppes. So likewife a Chriflian
exhortation to mother Bunch would not haue done amifle,
that fhe fhould not mixe lime with her Ale, to make it
mightie, or cozen the Queenes liege people of their drink,
by fubbing them off with thefe flender wafted blacke pots
and Cannes, that will hold little more then a Sering. A
profitable Treatife might haue alfo beene publiflied for
fuch companions to looke into, as for good fellowfhip will
not fticke to lend two or three falfe oathes to defeate the
widdow and fatherleffe of their right, though in fliort fpace
after they lofe their eares for their labour. A perfwafion
againfl pride had beene verie profitable : and an exhortati-
on againft fwearing had beene a thing commendable, if
he had in a pleafant Treatife fliewed the folly of yong
youthes and idle queanes; which entring into the feruice
of fundrie honeft perfons, continue there no longer then
they can cleanly conuay fome fufificient cariage for their
prefent maintenance. Then had he done well, and perad-
uenture giuen fuch light to fundrie honefl houfliolders,
that they would be careful! what perfons they had receiued
into their houfes or put in truft about their bufmeffe.

There might haue alfo beene compiled a delectable and


haunting Conicatchers.

pleafant Treatife of the abufe committed by fuch as fell
bottle ale, who to make it fly vp to the top of the houfe at
the firft opening do put gunpowder into the bottles while
the ale is new. Then by flopping it clofe, make the people
beleeue it is the flrength of the ale, when being truly fif-
ted it is nothing indeed but the flrength of the gunpowder
that worketh the effe6l, to the great heart-burning of the
parties that drinke the fame. I would haue had him touch
the contrarietie of apparell, and fet downe reafons to dif-
fwade men from wearing French peakes, becaufe they
are good for nothing but to ftab men, as alfo told the vfe
of the terrible cut, and the Swallow taile flash.

To leaue daliance and come to the matter. I will in-
forme you what policies haue beene pra6lifed fmce the
books of Conicatching were fet forth. Thefe Batfowlers
or Conicatchers hauing loft a collop of their lining, by
communicating their fecrets with babling companions,
haue now inuented a newe tricke to fetch in the pence.
They difguife themfelues like Apparitors or Sumners,
and come to a young Gentleman, Merchant, or old pinch-
cruft, as it maie fall out, that hath gotten a maid, a mans
daughter, or this widdow or ordinarie woman with child,
or at leaft haue beene more neere with them then they
fhould: and them they threaten with proceffe, citations,
the whip, or the white flieete at leaft, vntill they come to
compofitio. The timorous foules fearing to be made a by-
word of fhame to the whole Citie, bribe them with all that
euer they can rap and rend, to holde their peace, and faue
their honeflie. They will vrge the ftri6lneffe of their oath,
and the danger of the law in fuch cafes of concealement,
vntill they can fee them come off roundly : then they will
hamme and hauke, and faie they are not euery bodie, and
fo take their mony, and returne laughing in their sl^eues,
to thinke how they cofoned them.

Within fliort time after they fend another of their copef-
mates after the fame fort, and he giues them the like pluck.
And fo two or three one after the other, fhall neuer leaue

B affliaing

Greenes Ghoft

affli6lmg his ghoft, till they haue made him as bare as a
birds taile, fo as he hath not one pennie more to faue him
from hanging, if neede were. A monftrous abufe of autho-
ritie, and hindrance to the courts of luflice, that haue the
ouerfight of fuch offences.

Other there be that do nothing but ride vp and downe
the countrie, like yong merchants a wooing, and they will
marrie euerie moneth a new wife, & then fleece her of all
fhe hath, that done run away, and learne where another
rich widow dwelleth, and ferue her after the fame fort: fo
rounding England, til they haue pickt vp their crummes,
and got enough to maintaine them all their life after.

But exceeding all thefe are the fine fleights of our Ita-
lian humourifts, who being men for all companies, will
by once conuerfmg with a man fo draw him to them, that
he fhall thinke nothing in the world too deare for them, nor
once be able to part them, vntill they haue fpent all they
haue on them.

If he be lafciuioufly addi6led they haue Aretines Tables
at his fingers ends, to feede him on with new kinde of fil-
thineffe : they will come in with Rowfe the French painter,
and fhew what an vnlawfull vaine he had in baudrie : not a
whore nor a queane about the towne but they knowe, and
can tell her markes, and where, and with whom sh^e hofts.

If they fee you couetoufly bent, they will difcourfe won-
ders of the Philofophers ftone, and make you beleeue they
can make gold of goofe-greafe, only you muft be at fome
two or three hundred pound charge, or fuch a fmall trifle, to
helpe to fet vp their flilles, and then you n6ede not care
where you beg your bread : for they will make you do little
better, if you follow their prefcriptions.

Difcourfe with them of countries, they will fet you on
fire with trauelling: yea what place is it they will not
fweare they haue beene in, and I warrant you tell fuch a
found tale, as if it were all Gofpell they fpake. Not a cor-
ner in Fraunce but they can defcribe. Venice, why.? It is
nothing, for they haue intelligence of it euerie houre, and

'" at

haunting Conicatchers.

at euerie word will come in with Siado Curtizano, tell you
fuch miracles of Madame Padilia and Romana Impia, that
you will be mad till you be out of England : & if he fee you
are caught with this baite he will make as though he will
leaue you, and faine bufmeffe about the Court, or that fuch
a Noble man fent for him, when you will rather confent
to robbe all your friends then bee feuered from him one
houre. If you requeft his companie to traueile, he will fay.
In faith I cannot tell, I would fooner fpend my life in
your companie, then in anie mans in England. But at
this time I am not fo prouided of monie as I would: ther-
fore I can make no promife: and if a man fhould aduen-
ture vpon fuch a iourney without money, it were mifera-
ble and bafe, and no man will care for vs. Tut monie fay
you (like a liberall young maifter) take no care for that,
for I haue fo much land, and I will fell it, my credite is
worth fo much, and I will vfe it. I haue the keeping of a
Cofens chamber of mine, which is an old counfellour, and
he this vacation time is gone downe into the countrie,
we will breake vp his fludie, rifle his cheftes, diue into the
bottome of his bagges, but we will haue to ferue our
turne, rather then faile we will fell his bookes, pawne his
bedding & hangings, and make riddance of all his houfe-
hold fhuffe to fet vs packing. To this he liftens a little,
and faith, Thefe are fome hopes yet, but if he fliould goe
with you, and you haue monie, and he none, you will do-
mineere ouer him at your pleafure, & then he were wel fet
vp to leaue fuch poffibilities in Englad, & be made a flaue
in another countrie. With that you offer to part halfes
with him, or put al into his cuftody, before he fhould think
you meant otherwife then wel with him. He takes you at
your offer, and promifeth to hufband it fo for you, that you
fhall fpend with the befl, and yet not waft halfe fo much as
you do. Which makes you (meaning fimpHe) to put him in
truft, and giue him the purfe. Then all a boone voyage into
the lowe Countries you trudge, and fo traueile vp into
Italy, but per varies caftts, & tot difcrimina reriini, in a

B 2 towne


Greenes Gholl

towne of garrifon he leaues you, runnes awaie with your
monie, and makes you glad to betake your felfe to pro-
uant and become a Gentleman of a companie. If he feare
you will make after him he will change his name: and if
there be anie Gentleman or other in the countrie, he will
borrow his name and creepe into his kinred, or it fhall coft
him a fall, and make him paie fweetly for it in the end, if he
take not the better heed. Thus will he be fure to haue one
Affe or other a foote to keepe himfelfe in pleafmg.

There is no Arte but he will haue a fuperficiall fight
into, and put downe euerie man with talke: and when he
hath vttred the moft he can, make men bel^eue he knowes
ten times more then he will put into their heads, which are
fecrets not to be made common to euerie one.

He will perfwade you he hath twentie receits of loue
powders, that he can frame a ring with fuch a deuife, that
if a wench put it on her finger fhe fhal not choofe but follow
you vp and downe the ftreetes.

If you haue an enemy that you would be faine rid of, he
will teach you to poifon him with your verie lookes: to
fland on the top of Poules with a burning glaffe in your
hand, and caft the fame with fuch a force on a mans face
that walkes vnder, that it fhall ftrike him ftark dead, more
violently then lightning.

To fill a letter full of needles, which fhall be laid after
fuch a mathematical order, that when he opens it, to whom
it is fent, they fhall fpring vp and flie into his bodie forci-
bly, as if they had beene blowne vp with gunpowder, or
fent from a Caliuers mouth like fmall fhot.

To conclude, he will haue fuch probable reafons to pro-
cure beleefe to his lies, fuch a fmooth tongue to deliuer
them, and fet them forth with fuch a grace, that he fhould be
a verie wife man did not fwallow the Gudgin at his

In this fort haue I knowne fundrie young Gentle-
men of England trained forth to their owne deftru6lion,
which makes me the more willing to publifh this dis-


haunting Conlcatchers.

courfe, the better to forewarne other of fuch Batfowling
companions; as alfo for the rooting out of thefe infinua-
ting moth-wormes that eate men out of their fubftance
vnfeene, and are the decaie of the forwardefl Gentlemen
and beft wits.

How manie haue we about London, yt to the difgrace
of Gentlemen Hue gentlemanlike of themfelues hauing
neither mony nor land, nor any lawful means to maintain
them, fome by play, and then they go a mumming into the
countrie all the Chriflmas time with falfe dice, or if there
be anie place where Gentlemen or merchants frequent in
the Citie, or anie towne corporate, thither will they, either
difguifed like to yong merchants, or fubftantiall Citizens,
and draw them all drie that euer dealt with them.

There are fome that doe nothing but walke vp and
downe Paules, or come to fhops to buy wares, with bud-
gets of writings vnder their armes: and thefe will vrge
talke with anie man about their futes in law, and difcourfe
vnto them how thefe and thefe mens bands they haue for
money, that are the chiefeft dealers in London, Norwich,
Briftow, and fuch like places, and complaine that they can
not get one pennie. Why, if fuch a one doth owe it you
(faith fome man that knowes him) I durft buy the debt of
you, let me get it of him as I can, O faith my budget-
man, I haue his hand and feale to fhewe, looke heere els:
and with that pluckes out a counterfeit band (as all other
his writings are) and reades it to him. Whereupon for
halfe in halfe they prefently compound, and after that hee
hath that ten pounds paid him for his band of twentie be-
fides the forfeiture, or fo forth, he fayes, Faith thefe Law-
yers drinke me as drie as a fieue, and I haue mony to pay
at fuch a daie, and I doubt I fhall not be able to compaffe
it: here are all the leafes and euidences of my land lying
in fuch a fhire, I would you would lend me fortie pounds
on them till the next tearme, or for fome fixe moneths, and
then either it fhall be repayd with intereft, or I will forfeit
my whole inheritace, which is better worth then a hundred

B 3 marks


Greenes Ghofl

marks a yeare.

The wealthie retailer, citizen, merchant, Gentleman or
young nouice that hath fbore of crownes lying by him,
greedy of fuch a bargaine, thinking perhaps by one claufe
or other to defeat him of all he hath, lends him the mony
and takes a faire ftatute merchant of his lands before a
ludge, but when all comes to all, he hath no more land in
England then feuen foote in the Church yard, neither is his
inheritance either in Poffe or Effe, then a paire of gallowes
in a greene field, nor do anie fuch occupiers knowe him,
much leffe owe him anie money, whereby the couetous
perfon is cheated fortie or fiftie pounds thick at one clap.

Not vnlike to thefe are they, that comming to Ordina-
ries about the Exchange where Merchants do table for the
moft part, will faie they haue two or three fhips of coales
late come from Newcaftle, and wifh they could light on a
good chapman that would deale for them altogether. What
is your price, faith one.' What's your price, faith another.'
He holds them at the firft at a very high rate, and fets a
good face on it, as though he had fuch traffique indeed, but
afterward comes downe fo low, y^ euerle man ftriues who
fhall giue him earneft firfl: and ere he be aware, he hath
fortie fhillings clapt into his hand, to affure the bargaine
to fome one of them. He puts it vp quietly, and bids them
inquire for him at fuch a figne and place, where he neuer
came, fignifying alfo his name, when in troth he is but a co-
foning companion, and no fuch man to be found. Thus
goes he cleare awaie with fortie fhillings in his purfe for
nothing, and they vnlike euer to fee him againe.

There is a certain kind of cofonage called horfecourfmg,
which is when a man goes to the Cariers of Cambridge,
Oxford, Burie or Norwich, or anie great towne of trade,
and hires a horfe to ride downe with them, as thefe odde
companions will doe : and what doth me he, but as fooiie as
he hath him, fteps afide into fome blind towne or other,
and there lies till he haue eaten him out lim by lim in wine
and capons, and then when he can get no more on him, he



haunting Conicatchers.

fends the Carier word where he is ; who in the end is faine
to pay fome fiftie fhillings or three pounds for his vi6luals
that hired him ere he can haue him. Rochefter hackney-
men do knowe what belongs to this trade, for they haue
b^ene often times fleeced by thefe ranke riders, who com-
ming to a towne with a cloke-bag of ftones caried after
them, as if they were men of fome worth, hire a horfe to
Canterburie, and ride quite away with him.

There be certaine mates called Faunguefts, who if they
can find a fit Anuill to ftrike on, will learne what acquain-
tance he hath in the countrie, and then they will come to
him, and fay, I am to doe commendations to you from a
friend of yours, and he gaue me this bowed fixe pence to
drinke a quart of wine with you for his fake : and if he goe
to the tauerne, they will not onely make him paie for the
wine, but for all he drinks in befides.

So was one in Aldergate-flr^ete lately ferued, who

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Online LibrarySamuel RowlandsGreenes ghost havnting conie-catchers / Wherein is set down, the arte of humouring. The arte of carrying stones. Will. St. lift. Ia. Fost. law. Ned Bro. catch. and Blacke Robins kindnesse. With the conceits of Doctor Pinch-backe a notable makeshift. Ten times more pleasant then anything yet publishe → online text (page 1 of 4)