the apostate St. Andy.

My policy; online

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M: Y POLICY;"



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THE NEW GOSPEL OF PEACE



I»K.ICE TJEIN OEIVTS



PHILADELPHIA:

UBA&T, JR./ KO. 8^ lOUTH WHABYEl.

■ 1866.




BSTBBSD ▲OCOBDOfO TO ACT OF COS




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M: Y POLICY;"



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THE NEW GOSPEL OP . PEACB,



ACCORDING TO

ST ANDY, THE APOSTATE.



B»>^ . y m i^y . '<i ^



PITTSBURGH;

Mn P. Hunt & Co., 59 Fifth St., Masoftic Hatt,



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MY POLICY.



CHAPTEE I.

1. Now, the birth of Saint Andy was in this wise :
The Devil begat Burr, Bnrr begat Calhonn, Calhoun
begat Davis, Davis begat Booth, and Booth" begat St.

•Andy the Apostate.

2. Behold the lord of the lash appeared unto Andy
in a dream, saying, ''thou shalt get thee up from thy
abolition slumbers and gird on thy armor, for thou
shalt be our too], and ve will make thee ruler over
Israel."

3. Thou shalt be called Moses, and by thy exceed-
ing ability thou shalt lead the children of Israel back-
ward through the Red Sea , of their own blood in-
to the land of Egypt* and the house of bondage.

4. Now all this was said that it might be fulfilled
which was spoken by the mouth of the prophet, say-
ing: "Behold I will call the roll of my slaves, from
the top of the great White House, and they shall an-
swer by a pow-wow, in a wigwam at the sea shore."

5. Now, Andy being raised from sleep by a Gin
Cock Tail, went and did as the lord of 'the lash had
commanded him, and he knew no more the ways
of righteousness. And the dagger of the assas-



made a nev^r President, and he called Us name

CHAPTEE II.

1. In those days came John the Both, fhe was called
Both,) because he was both man and'^yU, and he
Potomac. "" ^''''^ °^ ^"''''''' ^y '^'' l^^^ts of the

nef; athS'."'^"°' ^"' '"' ''"' ^^"^dom of Jeff, is

3. For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet
Abraham, saymg, 'il ..odd i^ather bo aLsina^teTon-

^ 0. liien coii.^.., I ;,: ^iixjui- iioiii le'i^iess'^e to Wash
iofl°"' ■? '^,';.;'j''P'j'^ed of hint, a..jd Booth said, "I am

"MySv.- ' " ^''''^' "'' "'^'* ^' ^''' f°^ '^^' ^
and rt"V"' '^^f^^^^^, 1^^'^ in 'he name, of Abraham,
dom '^?'f ?-^^'^ If "i ^°^f^ and a voice from Eebel^
tT, '%' ■•; l.'^'°®.' ^^'^"^ • ^"^^^e will have peace,- ■

7. And Moses said, -Yes, we will have peace : And

He issued a declamation, and immediately, the cry of

muraor oegan to be heard in the land ; and Moses said,

i^is.en, i told you we,woul3 have peace ! "

6 Aiureverj man wJio had committed mui'der, he

Tto^H- f \V^'''^' "".r^" loyal Mnan dare come

OHAKTEJl III.

1. Now it came to pass that Moses was more sober
1.11 he ever had been before.



2. And lie said I will make a gi oat lamentation i
tlie land of Israel. I will pnll my hair and fear m,
©lose fit, and make treason odious.

3 But presently Moses grew too big for his clo^
fit, and the lord of the lash took him into an exceed-
inky black temple of the southern chiy airy and the
lord of the lash spake unto Moses, saying, ''All these
will I give thee if thou will lead them back into
Egypt.

4. Kow Moses remembered how his father-in-law-
had a colored temple, and he said, I was a tailor and
made a close fit.

5. And Moses said it is written, " Man shall not live
by tailoring alone, but he shall have an ofiice once and
a while." Therefore, he said unto the lord of the lash,
Thou art my god, and if thou wilt make " My Policy "
President, I will be your Moses to lead the children
of Israel backward through the Bed Sea of their own
blood into bondage. ^

6. Now, the lord of the lash spoke again unto Moses,
saying. Behold thou art a tailor and art slow of good
speech, but I will make Doolittle and Eamond s;:eak for
thee, and I Avill make them bawl as y^uiig calYesbawl
for milk, and whichever bawls the loudest shall be
hisfh i^viest in the black temple.



PIT A t>ti-!vt:> TV



ncii



Booth had finished his work, he cried
" Sic Semper Tyrannis," and the lord of the lash called
him to his bosom,' and the F. P. Y's. worshipped him.

2. But a certain Boston Corbet punished Booth in
the neck, and he departed for a warmer country to
prepare another place for the mighty Tailor.

3. Now, when the wise men of the East heard vfhat
was done, they came to see the child that was bom by
a dagger, and they fell down and worshipped him.



4. And he said iinto himself, I am no longer a tai-
lor, but I am *' some pumpkins." -
^'."^"^t «,®^i^g t^e great multitude ids little soul

^^^ . w??^^V^'''^ ^""^ ''P ^* ^^g^* a^^ went up into the
great White House and opened hi^ mouth, saying-
^ 6. Blessed is the Tailor, for he was once a ''< horse"
m a city, and now he is President.

7. Blessed is every man that curseth the ni^^er, for
I was a Tailor. ^-

^ 8 Blessed are all those who shall mourn for the poor
Tailor, for they shall be comforted.
^ 9. Blessed is every man that killed a nigger, for he
IS a peacemaker and a child of the mighty Tailor.

10. Blessed are those who do hunger and thirst af-
ter "My Policy." for they shall be filled.

11. Blessed are all those who shall have murdered
loyal men, for they shall be made Mayors of cities and
Governors of States.

12. Blessed are the States that rebelled, for they
shall be exalted.

13. Cursed is every man that curseth not the nigger,
for he shall have no civil rights, neither shall- he have
a bureau.

TT ^^' ^}^^^^ ^^ e^'^r/ man that fought to sustain the
Uni3n, for they shall be turned out of office and his
. plac^e filled with the children of the tribe of Jeffio.

15." Cursed is every man that worshipeth not the
Tailor, for he is now a mighty man in Israel, and the
shadow of his close fit may be seen iu New Orleans.

16. Yenly I say -ftuto you, Thaddeus and Sumuer
are traitors, and Forney is a ''dead cluck," they shall
have no office-for I am a Tailor. ' .

17. But a certain righteous man callek Alexander
H. Stephens is-in favor of " My Policy," and he must
be admitted intoCongress.

18. And furthermore, be it known unto you, that I
have a son-in-law who was Jeffie's Judge, and he is
now a Senator from Tennessee.



r'>orvIO 70?- onorte'ss'X.



I». And if he IS not admitted themigW Tailor will
it a ak ^^^^- "" ""P ^^ nation once and.«an do

for-My'Slleyr "°'° *^^«' ^1^«" tiouprayest praj

anShef cloil fit! '''* "''^ ^' "°' "^P^"^^''' ^ ^''^ ^^^e
22 Ye are begotten of " My Policy," and I had al-
most forgotten to mention that I was a tailor.

OHAPTEB V.

1 Now, when Moses, the Tailor, had come down out
of the temple, after telling his "dead duck " story the
people gathered around him, and a certain scribe sa^d
unto hnn, Master, I will- follow thee wherever thou o'o

GSt. "^

2. And be said unto him, I go back mto Egypt, fol-
owme,and thou shalt remain Prime i¥ini°ster ' and
heat the "" goose " foi me.

8. And immediately the scribe called », great concave
and as the dog days were near at hand they caved in a
^KT.J ^^^V^^'i^apd forged anew the chain

1. \ % ?■'', ''"'" ^^''"^'"'■"^ *° *^° ^™rid that four
years of fiendish warfare to destroy .the big parchment
that made thorn better than loyal men '■-^-n-nc

rPltb^^fl^r'*^'™°'''i^'?''^ *^^ K^'^"*' «°"'^e, if these
Shelp'lhl^"""" *"" ^°"'^'^^^" ^""^ '""^^ - -1' - ■

5 And if they cannot do it peaceably, they are un-
worthy the name of men if they do not attempt it by

6. Now be it known to the friends of this country
that tnere is a niighty crew ail clad in gray clothes tha
fit nice, for their' captain is a tailor

7. And this happy band of Loyal Traitors want the



8

Kejstone for Clymer and tTien they will climb the base
of Bunker Hill and carry Gettysburg to Boston.

8. And another one of his disciples said unto him,
Suffer me first to go and bury my father for he was
killed in the wilderness of '' My Policy."

9. But Moses said unto him, Let the niggers bury
the dead, follow '' My Policy," and we will have a good
thing in '68.

10. Yerily, I say unto you, the heavens and earth
shall pass away, but " My Policy" must be President.

11. Behold the axe is laid at the root of the tree, and
every tree that supports not my policy shall be hewn
down and cast into the nre, for I was a tailor.



CHAPTER YI.

1. Now, the people maclo a bureau, that those who
were loyal should no^ be persecuted by traitors, but
those who had purchased their freedom with their own '
blood should enjoy it.

2. But Moses said unto them, Yv^e are going back in-
to Egypt, and we can carry neither Cupboard nor Bu-
reau, nothing but "My Policy." .

3. But the people said unto him, Moses, thou art a
dead duck, we received this Bureau from our father
Abraham, and they placed it beside the Tabernacle of
the Covenant, and Moses Ys^ept. i

4. Now there were certain men ^. .,:..... .Republicans

in the land and they invented a bill of Civil Rights
which said a loyal man had just as good a right to s\f elir
to the truth as a perjured traitor. _

5. But Moses lifted up his voice and said. This can-
not be done, it is not My Policy. The nigger is an in-
ferior being and I was a tailor.

6. But two-thirds of the people said unto Moses,
Abraham wrote in the big parchm^ent. that slavery
should be no more, and you are a dead duck.



7. Moses became very wrotli and opened his big
month again, saying,

8. Men and brethren we are going back into Egyp '
we are no more men at all if we snffer such oppres"
gion ; My Policy must prevail.

9. I will be your Moses. We will pass the Eed Sea
and occupy that fair land which the drafted men have
taken, called Can-I-die (Canada.)

10. Therefore, you will gather together your tcibfer-
nacles, your slave pens;- your auction blocks, your
chains, your manacles, and your human chatties, and
we will take our old Statutes, our old Constitution and
My Policy with us, and will go where the Democracy
went during the war, even unto Can-I-die.

11. ISTow brethren,. be of good cheer, Breckinridge
is there. Slidell and Mason are there. Davis shall
go with us. Yallandigham shall go before for he
knows the road ; we will take the bones of Booth
with us, and Clynier shall go with Moses and learn the
tailor business.

12. And Yv'hen Vv^e shall have taken possession of the
Territorfes of the Kew Dispensation, I will divide the
country into twelve tribes of ^ Traitors, that have
fought under My Policy.

13. YaHaudigham shall have a kingdom and Cljane^'
shall Itave a kingdom, Alexander H. Stephens shaU
have a kingdom, Orr shall have a kingdom, and Sew-
ard shall have a kingdom, but Doolittle shall have no
kingdom for he has done but little.

14' Nevertheless, every man that killeth a nigger
shall have a kingdom, and every man that can shoAV a
commission under Davis or Lee, shall have an office,
for I am thy Moses that taketh thee out of the land of
Bureaus and Civil Eights into the plagues of- Egypt
nd the house of bondao-e.

o



10

CHAPTER YII.

1. Now there was a certain thing called Glimer, and
he had been climbing for many years to get to be tall
among traitors.

2. Yallandigham said Climer had a dispute as to
which should be greatest in the kingdom of Jeffie.

3. And Jeffie said-unto them, shame! Why quar-
rel in such a large country?

4. Let Yallandigham go into the West and Climer
into th3 East, and I v/ill make you both rulers.

5. And the people heard the evil words of Jeffie,
and they threw Yallandigham one hundted thousand
miles into utter darkness.

6. And Moses s})oke unto Yallandigham in a sor-
rowful tone, saying, "Remain in the wilderness until
October, -for lam coming.'!

7. And when thou shall hear the voice of a mighty
tailor in the wilderness, crying, " dead duck," then
thou shalt know that we journey for antither country
and thou shalt go before.

8. Audit came to pass in those days there was a
great rebellion, r,nd Clymcr and Yallandigham strove
to se^e which could do the most for the dirty rag with
one star. , . . ' " • ■ ■

9. And Yallandigham was a. mighty iiKin ana he
worked in the lead, and as they p idled together Moses
struck Climer, to make him pull the harder.

10. And it came to pass, that as he pulled he tore
his close fit and his naked , treason cursed carcass
became a great stench in the land.

11. And waking up from their slumbers and seein'g
they were naked, they said mito each other, let us do
as Jeffie did ; put on iMiy coats ^ and perhaps Ave can
hide.,

12. But the people said unto Climer, the fee of that
hundred thousand that carried Yallandham out, are at



11

the door and shall soon carry thee out unto a foreign

land where Moses can repair the close fit, for he is a
Tailor.

CHAPTER YIII.

1. And it came to pass a/S the children of Israel
journeyed in the wilderness they came into a great
city called New Orleans, and the Butternuts stood at
the corners of the streets with arrows in their hands,
and Moses stood afar off and watched them murder his
people.

2. And when the last one was driven out of tho
eity, Moses laughed like a Tailor.

8. And spake unto the murderers with wings of
lightning saying do it more^ Aaron's rod shall comfort
you.

4. But the people when they saw Moses was bound
for Egypt called him to judgment.

5. And in the curiosities of Uncle Sam's house,
there was a striped coat of female attire.

6. Now this was the same in which Davis hid from
the sight of Uncle Sam's men.

7. And the people placed this garment upon Mosea^
even as the Lord had commanded, and they found it
was an exceedingly close fit.

8. In so much that Moses exclaimed, my punish-
ment is greater than I can bear. Is it possible that I
•was born of the same mother, or begotten of the same
father, for behold! this garment doth fit like a "dead
duck."

8. Now this is the gospel of the New Dispensation-
Hearken unto the voice of the lord of the lash, and
may peace be with all who dwell in Canada. A little
while and I will be with you all. Amen, — For I am a
Tailor,



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1

Online Librarythe apostate St. AndyMy policy; → online text (page 1 of 1)