Tom Taylor.

Victims: an original comedy, in three acts online

. (page 1 of 4)
Online LibraryTom TaylorVictims: an original comedy, in three acts → online text (page 1 of 4)
Font size
QR-code for this ebook

jrith Twenty -three colored Illustrations. Price 50 ceate. I

Jopy 1 ' No. CLXXXVI



^ ^omebg, in S^ree ^ctt.





. jilK :



88 East 11th St., Xlvitak Sqoaxe.


Samuel i^'rench


laiure Jz-uns. Scissors and Loofeinc Glass, i)acked neatly iu fitronc I'um v CajU-buardJ
Boxes. $i.UO ; Elegaut Tin Catses, $5.00. >= j ^


No Plays Exchanged or Sent on Approval.






With a Descri2)tive List of Amateur Plays and Articles.



Amateur Dramas, Comedies, etc 32

Amateur Operas 42

Articles Needed by Amateurs 45

Beards, Whiskers, Mustaches, etc.. . 47

Bits of Burlesque 38

Bound sets of Plays ] 4

BulwerLytton's Plays 24

Burlesque Dramas 42

BurQt Cork 4-5

Charade Plays 38

Colored Fire aud Talileaux Lights. . . 4.5

Comic Dramas for >UleCliar. oniy. 43

Costume Books \ 2.'5

Cumberland's Edition 19

Darkey Dramas 39

Dramas for Boys 42

Drawing Room Plays 25

Elocution Reciters and Speakers... 44

Ethiopian Dramas ?<9

Eveninir's Entertainment 40

Fairy Plays 40

French's Edition 2

French's Enelish Operas 42

French's Italian Operas 37

French's Standard Minor Drama 14

Frencli's Parlor romerties 41

Frobisher's Popul ar Recitals 45

Guide Books for Amateurs 41

Grand Army Dramas 36

Grease Paints 48

Home Plays for Ladies 41

How to " Make-up "

How We Managed our Private Thea-

Irish Plays

Juvenile Plays

Lacy's Costumes

Magnesium Tableaux Lights .■

Makeup Bo.x

Miscellaneous Books

Miscellaneous Editions of Plays

Miscellaneous Plajs

Mrs. Jarley's Wax Works

New Plays

Nigger Jokes and Stump Speeches. . .

Parlor Magic

Parlor Pantomimes... ,

Pieces of P easantry

Flays for Male Characters only

Round Games

Scenes for Amateurs

Scriptural and Historical Dramas...

Sensation Dramas

Serio-Coniic Drama"

Shadow Pantomimes

Shakespeare's Piays


Tableaux Vivants

Temperance Flavs

Theatrical Face Preparations

Vocal Music of Shakespeare's Plays.


In ordering and remitting Ig Mail ahcays send Post Office
Orders if 230ssihle.


New York :



38 E. Uth St., Union Squared

IX)NI)0N :



Payment MU8'f accompany each Order.
A Catalogue with above Contents Sent Free.







Author of "Still Waters Bun Deep^'' "A Blighted Being" '■'■A Trip to Ki^

sengen," " Diogenes and his Lantern,'''' " The Philosoph6r''s Stone" " The

Vicar of 'Wakefield," " To Parents and Guardians," " Our Clerks"

" Little Red Riding-Hood," So., &c. And one of the Authors of

" Masks and Faces," " Plot and PasHon," " Slave Life," " Two

Loves and a Life," " Tlie King's Rival," " Helping Hands^

^'■Priiice Dorus," tfcc, <j6c., t6c.


A Description of tho Costumes— Cast of the Cliaractera— Entrances and Exit»—

Belativo Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and the whole of the

Stage Business.


Samuel French & Sen,


No. l«ja Nassau Street.


Samuel French,


\%1- 7

?! w




^ H

"K *^

02 jj ^ 2 sj

■ C3

'O O bo

M 1^

rt j-

>^^ £ Ola's 'H 2 s i =


S c

S «

" 3 •"

itf tSOC
*^ t-t -fcj C c

?? IS fe,eq ni >*


.2 -

« 5J rt

«h5 «



3 O S -

o ^


B O o ti! 3 3 . 2 o J2 « ° feH « ,t wS


^i. ,)» .K .K ^V.

■5 o ? "

>-, M O S

JUNE P~0. 1940











s .












Q 2
. t<

(^ m

« g

_ • '2
b '3


" . • fcn


e I-


. *

02 52 £

H32 .




SCENE. — Morning room, at the Acacias, Mr. Merry weather^ s Villa, in
the RegenVs Park. An elegantly furnished room, opening into a con-
servatory. Chairs, lounges, a table, R. c, a couch, r. A door, e. c,
communicating with Mrs. Merryweathcr's boudoir ; a door communi-
cating with the hall, 2 E. r.. ; a door commniiicating with Mr, Merry-
wealher^s dressing-room, 2 E. R. Bell. Books, prints, d;c., upon the
table — statuettes, 4"C.

Skimmer discovered arranging the books, ttc, on the table, brushing the
dust from the statuettes and picture frames, with a feather brush, 4"C
He pauses from time to time in his work, to open and read in one of
the books.

Skim. Poetry ! I adores poetry ! especially melancholy poetry, like Mr.
fitzherbert's. Here's his works. [Takes up and opens books.'] What
cutting titles, " Withered Leaves " — and here's another, " Solitudes
of the Soul" — and his last, which missus has just been a cryin' into,
" Ruins of the Heart." It's a great advantage to know the author of
poems like these. He was here last night ; he's here most nights, with
the other liter'y gents as use the house, and don't they punish the wit-
ties neither. I suppose it's misery gives him such an appetite. [Opens
a volume^ Beautiful ! here's language ! [Reads.

" Around the board, all point at him,
The lonely, unenjoying man —
They wonder why his eyes are dim,

They wonder why his cheek is wan — "
Well, now, I thought he looked uncommonly jolly last night over his
scolloped oysters. [Reads again.

" Alas ! the banquet tempts not me,
I find no pleasure in the bowl,"
He mopped up his cold without, too, pretty tidy. Suppose I tried a
verse myself. [RecHes.

" I think, for all his gloomy language,
Expressive of sich mental anguish,
That Mr. F. enjoyed his sandwicbi."
But his verses is very heart-broken !


Enler Cakfuffle, d. l. 2 e.

Car. (l.) There you are, James Skimmer, at them books as usual,
instead of attending to your work.

Skim, (e.) Servants has minds, Mr. Carfuffle.

Car Not above their situations, James Skimmer. When I was in
livery, I had a raiud according. Now I'm out of livery, my mind is
rose with my position ; and so mayyours, James, when you're out of

sicim. Ah ! if you knew how I looks forrard to that day, Mr. Car-

Car. It's natural you should, James — it's an honorable ambition.
But you'll never do it, James, if you keeps idling your time away with
books. [Taking book from him.] I'm afraid, James, your growing

Skim. I'm doing my best, Mr. Carfuffle.

Car. (Sits,!,.) Beware, James Skimmers! I've knowed a great
deal of liter'y people — I've lived in liter'y places myself, when I was in
a humble position — and of all the uncomfortable, shabby, out-at-elbows
families I've ever seen or 'eard tell of, liter'y families is the most so.

Skim, (e.) But ain't ours a liter'y family ?

Car. On the female side, James ; but master's in the city, and that
makes all the difference. It's like one of these books, James ; missus
finds the print, but master the Rooshia binding, and the gilt edges.

Skim. But the company we keeps is liter'y ; you'll admit that, Mr.
Carfuffle 1

Car. Yes James ; and it's the one thing makes me a leetle ashamed
of the place. To be sure, liter'y people ain't all equally contemptible.
There's Mr. Fitzhe.fbert, now, he has something of the gentleman about
him —

Skim. And Mr. Butterby, too, is quite the gentleman ; often gives
me half crowns, and sends missus flowers, reg'lar. Here's his yester-
day's bouquet. [Bringivg down a small flower vase with molels.^ Li-
ter'y people corresponds by bouquets. Do you know the language of
flowers, Mr. Carfuffle 1

Car. No, James.

Skim. I've read about it. Let's see— what's violets 1

Car. Two pence a bunch, James.

Skim. Ah ! you've no poetry in you, Mr. Carfuffle.

Car. I 'ope not, James.

Skim. You're as bad as master. Don't you feel for misf is, Mr.
Carfuffle 1

Car. Why, James 1

Skim. A bein' of sentiment and poetry, like her, tied to a plain man
o' business like master.

Car. Well, he is plain, James, but if you must have my opinion, I
think master's the more to be pitied of the two.

Skim. Lor', Mr. Carfuffle I

Car. If I 'ad a wife, James, I know I should rather she loved, ho-
nored, and obeyed me in the regular way, instead of giving herself airs
with a lot of liter'y gents, and painters, and poets, and low people of


that kind, who lives by their wits, and looking no more to me, except
m regard to money, than if I was nobody in my own 'ouse.

Merryweather. [Without, r. d.] James !

Skim. But hush, here's master. {^Exit Skimmer, l. d. 2 e

Enter Merryweather from his dressing room, a. d. 2 e.

Mer. Eleven o'clock, and no breakfast — how's this 1

Gar. Missis particularly "rdered the breakfast was not to be laid
sooner, as the noise disturbeo . a ; now f^e sleeps in the blue room.

Mer. Oh, very well; then I'll have b.cakfast in the study in future.

Car. Missis particularly ordered it should be laid here, sir, in case
she wished to speak to you afore you went to the city. . \_Exit, h. d.
Enter Skimmer with breakfast tray, L. d. 2 e.

Mer. Be careful and make no noise, James.

Skim. I 'ope, sir, you'll find me attentive to everythink that can
spare missis any annoyance.

Mer. That's right,, James.

Enter Satchei-l, r. d. in f. down r.
How's your mistress this morning, Satchell ■

Sat. \_Pertly.'\ She's suffering from one of her dreadful headaches, :

Mer. Poor dear ! I suppose I may go in, and say how sorry I am,

Sat. Oh I dear no, sir, missis can't abear being disturbed so early.

Mer. It was very inconsiderate in me not to think of that.

Sat. Very, sir, when poor missis is such an invalid.

Mer. Yes [sjg^.^s], she used to enjoy such excellent health before I
married her.

Sat. \.Sighs.'\ Ah ! sir, ladies often changes sadly after marriage.

Mer. So they do, Satchell. [Sighs.'\ But pray ask your mistress
if there's anything I can do for her before going to the city.

Sat. "Very well, sir. \^Exit, r. d. p.

Exit Skimmer, l. d. 2 e., after having laid the table.

Mer. [Sighs.'] Ah 1 this is not the sort of breakfast I used to pro-
mise myself before I married Emily. I've made a terrible blunder, I'm
afraid, and so has Emily, too. Who would have thought, though,
from her letters, that things would have turned out in this way — un-
affected, frank, and honest as they were ? [Opens his desk, which stands
on small xvriting-table, l. n., and takes out letters.'] After all, I suppose
mine were just as unlike my real self. I should have done better with
Lucy Aiken. [Takes out letters, tied round with lock of hair.'\ Here's
my proposal to her, with the lock of hair I purchased from her hair-
dresser ! I was a poor clerk then, and little dreamt of succeeding to
old Merryweather's name and business. I wonder what has become of
Lucy. I don't think she'd have considered herself a victim if she had
married me. [Sighs'] Ah 1 well, it can't be helped now : I must make
the best of it

[Replaces letters and locks desk, leaving key in Icck. A tremendous
d-mhle knock heard.


Who can that be ?

Enter Caefuffle, d. l. c.

Car. Mr. Rowley ! [Exil Carfuffie, i-

Enter Rowlet, l.

Howley. Ah ! Merryweather, my boy. [Holding out his hand.

Mer. [Shaking hands with Aim.] What, Jack Rowley ! how are you !

Row. Said I'd drop in on you one of these mornings, and here I am,
all the way from Primrose Hill, with a two-mile-of-a-frosty-morning
appetite: [JFtubs his hands.

Mer. Delighted to see you — you'll stay breakfast 1

Row. Of course I will — it's what I've come for. You know how I
have set my heart on surprising you in the midst of your matrimonial
comforts. Lucky dog ! [Merryweatheh sighs.^ Not like us poor
bachelors, with the teapot for a vis-d-vis, but a pretty morning face in
a pretty morning cap to sweeten your tea with her smiles, and butter
your muffins with her own white hands.

Mer. As you say, it's a great comfort — but pM-y be a little less
boisterous — my wife sleeps in the next room.

Row. Sleeps ! you don't mean to say she's in bed at this time in the
morning 1

Mer. Why, the fact is, Emily is rather an invalid, and generally
breakfasts in her own room.

Row. The deuce ! that's a disappointment. But never mind, we
must do as well as we can, so order in the solids — chops, cold meat,
eggs ; you used to be famous for your breakfasts, you know, in your
days of single blessedness.

Mer. Ah, yes ! how jolly it was, Rowley !

Row. I believe you, old boy ; but pray ring for the eatables, for I'm
as hungry as an ornnibus driver.

[Merryweather rings bell on table, r. c.

Mer. I'm not sure what there is, but of course there's something.
Enter Ski.mmer, l. d. 2 e.
Oh ! James, ask cook to send us up something hot — a grill, or anything
in that way.

Row. And muffins, my boy, muffins, if you value my peace of mind
[James is going, l. d.] And I don't see any cream !

Mer. Muffins, James — and cream. [Exit Skimmer, l. d. 2 e.

Row. Well, old fellow — hang it — you don't look as lively as you used
ta do.

Mer. Lively ! oh ! I'm livelier than ever — much livelier. [SiyAs]
But my wife doesn't relish a riotous display of animal spirits — she's so

Row. Humph !

Re-enter Skimmer, l d. 2 e.

Skim. If you please, cook says there's no chops, and the cream was
all used for missus's white soup, and there's no muffins, 'cause missus
can't abear the boy's bell in the mornings, and there's no cold meat,
'cos Mr. Hornblower, and Mr. Fitzherbert, and Mr. Butterby cleared out
the larder last night, after the concert. [Rowley whistles.


M€r. Friends of Emily's — very superior people.

Bow. And devilish good appetites, apparently.

Mer. Well, this is unlucky. [ With a forced gayetyJ] Ha, ha, ha !
odd coincidence, isn't it ? that you should have dropped in to-day of all
days I How very good !

RaWT Well, I don't sec the joke.

Mer. You must put up with rolls, and take your tea without cream
It's capital! you get the aroma so much purer. That will do, James.

Skim. [^Aside.'\ 'Tother don't seem to appreciate the 'roma.

^Exit, L. D. 3 E.

Row. Well, if this is married happiness, it's as like bachelor misery
as anything I ever saw in my life.

Mer. It's provoking, I must say — extremely provoking. The fact is,
you see, Emily is a creature of too much mind to attend to housekeep-
ing : but in everything else she's a treasure.

Row. Humph!

Mer. So considerate — so afraid of giving trouble.

Enter Satchell, e. d. f.

Sat. Please sir, missus says, if you're going to the city, you're to
mind and not forget the music at Crash's.

Mer. No, no ! I'll remember.

Sat. And to match these wools at Crochet's [Gives wools'], and
here's the books for Hookham's [Gives books'], and the bonnet boxes
for Madame Clochette's [Gives <Aem], and missus says you're to be
particular in not sitting on 'em.

Mer. There — there, that will do, Satchell, I'll be careful.

[Exit Satchell, l. d. 2 k.
She's so attached to me, you see — can't bear any other person to
attend to her little commissions.

Row. So I see. Gad I they paint the Cupid of courtship with a
quiver on his back, but the little god of matrimony should be repre-
sented with a porter's knot. Ha, ha, ha !

[Pointing ^oMerky., who is loaded with parcels.

Mer. Oh ! you may laugh.

Row. I know I may, I'm not married.

Mer. Wedded life may have its burthens.

Row. Pretty heavy ones, evidently. [Pointing to ■parcels.

Mer. But at least they are borne in company.

Row. Parcels Delivery Company, I should think.

Mer. And then it's enjoyments !

Row. Tea without cream, and a breakfast table without muffins.
No, no, I'm not to be humbugged ! You've made a mistake. Come,
confess; it will relieve you.

Mer. No, no ; I am thankful for the change in my condition [Putt
parcels on sofa, e.], though I will own to you, I do sometimes wish
Emily had not such extremely delicate nerves, or that mine were a litl' .
more delicate, for then we should understand each other better.

Row. So you don't quite understand each other 1

Mer How should we 1 She's all genius ; I've not a spark of it


Row. And most of your friends have just as little. How does sh<
get on with them 1

Mer. Oh 1 you don't suppose she sees any of my friends — common-
place men of business? Oh, no ; her friends are all what's called
" remarkable people," poets, metaphysicians, artists ; the house is over-
run with men of genius. I do all I can to make her happy ; but some-
how, I don't think I've hit the right way, as yet.

Eow. [Taking his hand^ My poor, dear old fellow, I saw you were
out of spirits ; but I'd no idea it was as bad as this.

Mer. You don't think me an unkind man, Rowley ■?

Row. Unkind ! your heart's the softest place about you, except youi

Mer. I'm not the person to thwart and bully a woman, am I ! In
short, you wouldn't call me a brute, would you 1

Row. You ! a brute !

Mer. Because I sometimes fancy I must be something of the kind.
If you saw poor Emily's low spirits, the way she sighs, and casts her
eyes up to the ceiling every now and then, when I'm with her, the style
in which her friends speak of me ; in fact, between ourselves, I'm afraid
I'm breaking her heart without in the least intending it.

Row. My poor old boy, I've a shrewd suspicion she's breaking yours
with her infernal airs and affectations.

Mer. She 1 oh, no! It's my fault, I tell you. But what would you
do in my place 1

Row. Do ? Why first and foremost, I'd be master in my own house.

Mer. Oh, that I am, I flatter myself.

Row. Not a bit of it, or your wife wouldn't be in bed at this time of
day, her d — d superior friends wouldn't be clearing out yonr larder, you
would not be imagining yourself a brute, and your old city chums
wouldn't be received in this style, when they dropped in to breakfast.

Mer. Oh ! if I only knew the way to her heart, Rowley !

Row. What ! she doesn't love you, then 1

Mer. She tries, I believe, but I'm not the sort of man to win the
affections of a gifted creature like her. Oh ! if I was only an editor
like Hornblower, or a poet like that pale, sentimental, black-bearded

Row. Fitzherbert ! what Herbert Fitzherbert , The fellow that
writes in ^e periodicals'?

Mer. Yes 1 Do you know his writing'!

Roio. Sorry to say I do — across a three-and-sixpenny stamp. [Show-
ing hvo bills.'] Here's a brace of his dishonored bills for eighty-six,
six, eight, drawn by Joshua Butterby, and accepted, payable, but not
paid by Herbert Fitz ditto.

Mer. It's extraordinary how these men of genius are always in

Roie. He'll be in a worse difficulty soon, for I have ordered my
solicitor to proceed to extremities.

Mer. What, arrest him ? No, no, Rowley, you must n't do that
neither. Suppose you endorsed the bills to me 1

Row. Overdue as they aie, and with notice of dishonor !


Mer. I know it's unbusiness-like, but it's out of consideration for
Emily ; she has such a respect for him, such an admiration of his

Row. Hump& ! you'd better let me shut him up. Song-birds pipo
best in cages.

Mer. Wo, no ; Emily would break 'aer heart about it, and I cannot
bear to give her pain, more than I can help — that is ; so give me the
bills. [Rowley gives them.'] We'll look in at Praed's on our way tff
the city. By-the-way, though, I forgot, you have had no breakfast.

Row. Nor you either ; suppose you breakfast with me at the Union,
m passant.

Mer. A capital idea ! In the style of old times, Jack ; how I shall
enjoy it !

£!nfer Skimmer, l. d. 2 e.

■ Rcw. Of course we can't do things like you married men, but 7
promise you a regular sample of bachelor discomfort, with all the
luxuries of the season, muffins included 1 [^Thcy are going, when.
Rowley, pointifig to sofa, says,] Don't forget your commissions.

[Merrywe-^ther gets parcels, and they exeunt, l. d.

Skim. [Taking away the breakfast things.] That Rowley's a coarse'
man ; the same vulgar stamp as master. Absorbed in what Mr. Fitz-
herbert calls the sordid pursuits of gain, both of 'em. If it wasn't for
the liter'y people missus brings about the 'ouse I'd give warning to-
morrow. But the conversation in our soire6s is really a privilege to a
young man that aims at improvin' his mind as I do.

[Exit with fray, l. d. 3 e.
Enter Satchell. l. d. 2 e , showing in Mrs. Fitzherbeet, who is plainly
dressed, mth bonnet and vail.

Sat. You can sit down here, young woman, while I speak to missus
about the work.

Mrs. F. Thank you [Exit Satchell, d. in f. r.

Another week's embroidery, and I shall have made up the two pounds
for those bills ; and then I shan't have to worry dear Herbert for the
money. I hope I'm not doing wrong in trying to keep out of debt, and
procure for him the little comforts he requires so much, though he does
know nothing about it. Thanks to my maiden name, which I borrowed ;
for the occasion, there's no chance of my being found out. I wish,
though, those impertinent, ill-bred men wouldn't follow one so in the
street, and stare under one's bonnet. They see I'm poor, and unpro-
tected ; it seems so cowardly. There was one persecuted me all the
way to this door— such a fool, too.

Re-enter Satchell, with a parcel, d. f. e.

Sat. (r.) Here are half-a-dozen more caps, to be worked in the same
pattern as the last, at three- and-sixpence a-piece, you know.

Mrs. F. (c.) Thank you.

Sat. Mind, they must be ready against next Wednesday.

Mrs. F. Next Wednesday ! I shall have to sit up the greater part of
every night to nnish them.


Sal. That's no business of ours.

M7-S. F. No ; but please the last are not paid for, I think — [Ttmid/y,]
and if — if Mrs. Merryweather could —

Sat. \Pcrtly.'\ Oh ! you want the money — I'll tell Missus ; of course,
it's always the way when one employs people out of charity.

\Ezit, K. D. p.

Enter Skimmkk, d. l. 2 e., showing in Butteeby, who carries in hit
hand a bouquet wrapped m paper.

Sutter. [Aside.'] There she is ! ^To Skimmer.] Very well, I'll
wait; he said he'd be here at twelve. [Exit. Skimmer, l. d. 2 e.

[/ft a jaunty manner.] Well, my dear, I said we should certainly be
better acquainted, and here we are, you see, tele d tete. By Jove, now,
don't " turn, oh turn, those eyes away" — I'm harmless, perfectly harm-
less. I only want another peep into those blue depths — " Lights that
do mislead the morn."

Mrs. F. Pray, cease talking such nonsense, sir.

Butter. It's not nonsense — it's poetry — the language of paesion !
(Mrs. FiTZHERBERT lowers her vail^ Hal now why put dawn your
vaill It's no use — it only adds the charm of mystery to your other

Mrs. F. I'll call the servants, if you go on, sir.

Butter. Oh ! pooh, stuff, you know you wont do anything of the kind
— my importunities are flattering. By Jove, I'm struck with you, I
am, by Jove ! [-4sirfe.] Not a word. Hang me if I don't tempt her
with Fitz's bouquet, which I was to leave for Mrs. Merryweather.

[Takes bouquet from paper.

Mrs. F. Will that girl never come? back 1

Butter. Look, here are lovely flowers — let me present them to their
sister — " Sweets to the sweet."

" I offer thee a rosy wreath.

Not so much honoring thee — ^

Mrs. F. As insulting me, sir !

[Crosses to i,. — she puts away thejlotcers.
Butter. No, no, by Jove, don't be so cruelly cold — so impregnably

Enter Satchell, d. e. f.

Sat. Flirting with Mr. B. — I thought she was no better than she
should be. Here's the money, young woman, and as we're not used
to being dunned, wc will not trouble you with any more work after
those caps are finished

Mrs. F. Oh ! say I'm very sorry, please. I didn't mean — if not per
fectly convenient —

Sat. Convenient ! — well, to be sure, making a convenience of us !

[Exit, with a toss of her head, D. r. f.

Mis. F. Ah ! she wouldn't be so cruel ; if she knew how I want the

1 3 4

Online LibraryTom TaylorVictims: an original comedy, in three acts → online text (page 1 of 4)