William Michael Rossetti William Shakespeare.

The complete works of Shakespeare: With a critical biography online

. (page 59 of 224)
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king*s, who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don
Adnano de Armado.

HoL Novi hominem tanquam te: His humour is
lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed,
his eye ambitious, his gait inajestical, and^ his
ffenend behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical.
He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd,
as it were, too peregrinate, as I may call it

Nath, A most singular and choice epithet.

[Takes out his tabU-booh,

SoL He draweth out the thread of his verbosity
finer than the staple of his argument. I abhor
such fanatical phantasms, such insociable and
pouit-devise companions; such rackers of ortho-
graphy, as to speak, dout, fine, when he should
say, doubt ; det, when he should pronounce debt ; —
d, e, b, t; not d, e, t;— he clepeth a calf^ cauf ;
half, hauf; neighbour, voeatttr^ nebour; neigh,
abbreviated, ne: This is abhominable fwhich he
would call abominable), it insiuuateth me of
insanie; Ne intdUgit dominef to make frantic.

EoL What is the figure ? what is the figure?

MotK Horns.

Hoi, Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip


Nath, Lous Deo bone intelUgo.

SoL Bonef hone^ for bene: Prisdan a little

•eratcb'd ; twill serve.

BiUer Armado, Moth, and Costabo.

Naik. Videsne qm$ venitf

HoL Video et gaudeo.

Arm, Chirral [7b Moth.

HoL Qaare Chirra, not sirrah ?

Arm, Men of peace, well encountered.

Hoi, Most military sir, salutation.

Moth. They have been at a great feast of lan-
guages, and stolen the scraps, f To Costard aside.

CotL O, they have lived long on the alms-
iMuket of words I I marvel thy master hath not
eaten thee for a word ; for thou art not so long by
the head as honorificabUitudinitatibus : thou art
easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.

Moth, Peace I the peal begins.

Arm, Monsieur [to HoL.],are you not lettered?

Moth, Tes, yes ; he teaches boys the horn-book.
What is a, b, spelt backward, with a horn on his

HoL Ba, pueritioj with a horn added.

Moth, Ba, most nlly sheep, with a horn.— Toa
bear his learning.

Hoi, Quis^ qmSf thou consonant ?

Moth. The third of the five vowela, tf you
repeat them ; or the fifth, if I.

HoL I will repeat them, a, e, L—

Moth. The sheep: the other two oondndesit;
o, n.

Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterra-
neum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit : snip,
nap, quick, and home: it r^oioeth my intellect:
tme wit.

Moth, Offer'd hr a dhfld to aa old man ; whioh

Lend me your horn to make one, and I
will whip about your in&my drcwn circd : A gig
of a cuckold*s horn I

Cost. An I had but one penny in the world,
thou shouldst have it to buy gingerbread : hold,
there is the very remuneration I liad of thy-master,
thou halfpenny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg ot
discretion. O, an the heavens were so pleased
that thou wert but my bastard ' what a jovful
fiither wouldst thou make me! Go to; thou hast
it ad dungkiUy at the fingers' ends, as they say.

HoL 0, I smell false Latin; dunghill for

Arm. ATtB-msOy prmambula ; we will be shigled
from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth
at the charge-house on the top of the mountain ?
HoL Or, nums, the hill.

Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.

Hoi. I do, sans question.

Arm, Sir, it is the king's most sweet ple&sure

and affection, to congratulate the princess at her

pavilion, in the posteriors of this day ; which the

rude miUtitude call the afternoon.

HoL The posterior of the day, most generous
sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the
afternoon: the word is well culled, chose; sweet
and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure.

Arm, Sir, the king is a noble gentleman ; and
my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend:—
For what is inward between us, let it pass:— I do
beseech thee, remember thy courtesy:— I beseech
thee, apparel thy head: — And among other impor-
tunate and most serious designs,— and of great
import indeed too;— but let that pass:— for I must
tell thee, it will please his grace (by the worli^
sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder ; and
with his royal finger, thus, aiUly with my excre-
ment, with my mustachio : but, sweet heart, let
that pass. By the world, I recount no fable ; some
certain special honours it pleaseth hie greatness to
impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that
hath seen the world : but let that pass.— The very all
of all is,— but sweet heart, I do implore secrecy,—
the king would have me present the princess, that
sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or
show, or pageant, or antic, or fire-work. Now,
understanding that the curate and your sweet self
are good at such eruptions, and sudden breaking
out of mirth, as it were, I have acquamted you
withal, to the end to crave your assistance.

HoL Sir, you shall present before her the nine
worthies.— Sir Nathaniel, as concemmg some en-
tertainment of time, some show in the posterior of
this day, to be rendered by our assistance,— the
king's command, and this most gallant, aiustrate,
and learned gentleman, — before the princess; I
say, none so fit as to present the mne worthies.

Naih. Where will you find men worthy enough
to present them?

HoL Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant
gentleman, Judas Maccabsus ; this swain, because
of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the
Great; the page, Hercules.

Amu Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity
enough for that worthy's thumb: he ia not so

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MoL Shall I have aadience? he shall present
Herooles in minority: his enter and exit snail he
strangling a snake ; and I will have an apology
ibr tlutt purpose.

Moth, An excellent device! so, if any of the
audience hiss, you may cry, Well done, Hercules I
now thou crushest the snake I that b the way to
make an offence gracious; though few have the
grace to do it

Arm. For the rest of the worthies?—

HoL I will play three m3r8elf.

Moth. Thrice- worthy gentleman !

^rm. ShaU I tell you a thing?

HoL We attend.

Arm. We will have, if this fiidge not, an antio.
I beseech jon, follow.

Ed. FiA, gfoodman Dull! thou hast spoken no
word all this while.

DuU. Nor understood none neither, sir.

EoL AUonsI we will employ thee.

EuU. Ill make one in a dance, or so; or I will
play on the tabor to the worthies, and let them
dance the hay.

EoL Most dull, honest Dull, to our sport, away.



SCENB IL— Another part of the iome.
the Princess's Pamlion.


^nter the PnorcEss, Kathabine, RoeALunt, and

Frin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere wo
If fairings come thus plentifully in:
A lady wall'd about with diamonds t
Look you what I have from the loving king.

Itos. Madam, Came nothing el^e along with that?

Hin, Nothing but this ? yes, as much love in
As would l>e cramm'd up in a sheet of paper.
Writ on both sides of the leaf, margent and all ;
That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.

Hos. That was the way to make his godhead wax;
For he hath been five thousand years a boy.

Kaih. Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.

Moe. You 11 ne*er be friends with him; he kiird
your sister.

Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy:
And so she died : had she been lightj like you.
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit.
She might have been a gi-andam ere she died:
And so may vou ; for a light heart lives long.

£o9. What s your dark meaning, mouse, of this
light word ?

Kath, A light condition in a beauty dark.

Boa. We need more light to find your meaning

I were the fairest goddess on the cround t
I am compared to twentj thousand fairs.
0, he hath drawn mv picture in his letter I

Prin, Any thmg like?

Bos. Much in the letters ; nothing in the praise.

Prin. Beauteous as ink ; a good conclusion.

KcUh. Fair as a text B in a copy-book.

Bob, *Ware pencils I How? let me not die vour
My red dominical, my golden letter : [debtor,
that your face were not so full of 0*s I

Kath. A pox of that jesti and I beshrew all
shrows {

/Vm. But, Katharine, what was sent to yoL
from fair Dumain?

Kath, Madam, this glove.

Prin. Did he not send yoa twain ?

Kath. Yes, madam; and. moreover.
Some thousand verses of a taithful lover;
A huge translation of hynocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profouna simplicity.

Mar. This, and these pearls, to me sent Longa-
The letter is too long by half a mile. [ville ;

Prin. I think no loss: Dost thou not wish in
The chaui were longer, and the letter short?

Mar. Ay, or I would these hands might never

iWn. We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

Boa. They are worse fools to purchase mocking
That same Biron 111 torture ere I go. [sa

0, that I knew he were but in by the week I
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek;
And wait the season, and observe the times.
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes.
And shape liis service wholly to my behests ;
And make him proud tu make me proud that jests!
So portent-like would I o'ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.

Brin. None are so surely caught, when they are
As wit turn'd fool : folly, in wisdom hatch'd.
Hath wisdom's warrant, and the help of school;
And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.

Boa, The blood of youth bums not with such
As gravity's revolt to wantonness. [excess.

Mar, Folly in fools bears not so strong a note.
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote ;
yince all the power thereof it doth apply,
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.

Enter Boybt.

Here oomes Boyet, and mirth is in his


0, Ilmi stabb'd with laughter I Wliere*8

her grace?
Prin. Thy news, Boyet?

rr .X XT n^ ^ ] B£>yc<. Prepare, madam, prepare!—

Kath. Yoini mar the light, by taking it m snuff; Arm, wenches, arm I encounters mounted are

Therefore, III darkly end the argument

Boa, Look what you do; you do it still i' the dark.

Kath. So do not you ; for you are a light wench.

Boa. Indeed. 1 weigh not you ; and therefore light.

Kath. You weigh me not,— 0^ that's you care
not for me.

Boa. Great reason ; for, past care is still past cure.

Prin. Well bandied both ; a set of wit well play 'd.
fiut, Rosaline, you have a favour too:
Who sent it? and what is it?

Boa. I would you knew:

An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great ; be witness this.
Nay, I liave verses too, I thank Biron :
The numbers true ; and, were the numb'ring too,

Against your peace: Love doth approacii disguis'd
Armed in arguments ; youll be surprised :
Mustei" your wits ; stand in your own defence ,
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.

Prin, Saint Dennis to Saint Cupid ! What are

they, [say.

That charge their breath against us? say, scont,

Boyet. Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour ;
When, lol to interrupt my purpos'd rest.
Toward that shade I might behold addressed
The king and his companions : warily
I stole intf> a neighbour thicket by.
And overl»c;ird what you shall overhear;
That, by and by, disg.iis'd thev ^fi^hflih^il^T^
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Their herald is a prettj knavish page,

That well by heart hath oonn*d his embassage :

Action, and accent, did thej teach him there;

** Tlios must thoa speak, and thus thv body bear :"

And ever and anon thej made a doobt,

Presence majestical would put him out;

" For," quoth the king, '* an angel shalt thou see,

Tet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.**

The boy replied, ** An angel is not evil;

I should have fear'd her had she been a deviL"

With that all laugh'd, and clapp'd him on the

shoulder ;
Makuig the bold wag bv their pnuses bolder.
One robbed his elbow, thus ; and fleer'd, and swore
A better speech was never spoke before:
Another, with his fingor and his thumb,
Cried. ** Vial we will do't, come what will come:*'
The third hecaper'd, and cned, " All goes well;"
The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To check their folly, passion's solemn tears.

Prin, But what, but what, come they to visit us?

Uoyet. Thevdo,tlievdo; and are apparcl'd thus-
Like Muscovites, or liussians: as 1 guess.
Their purpose is, to parle, to court, and dance :
And every one hl.s love-feat will advance
Unto his several mbtress; which they'll know
By favours several, which theydiil bestow.

Frm, And will they so? the galhuts shall be
For, ladies, we will every one be masVd ;
And not a man of them shall have the gi'ace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
Hold, Rosaline, thb favour thou shalt wear.
And then the king will court thee for his dear ;
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine;
80 shall Biron take me for Hosaline.—
And change your favours too ; so shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceiv'd by these rem >ves.

JKos. Come on, then ; wear the fiivours most in

Kath, But, in this changing, what b your intent ?

Prin. The effect of my intent is, to cross theirs:
They do it but in mocking merriment;
And mock for mock u only my intent.
Their several counsels thev unbosom shall
To loves mistook ; and so be mock'd withal,
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages display 'd, to talk and greet.

Hoe, But shall we dance, if they desire ns to*t ?

Prm, No ; to the death we will not move a foot :
Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace:
But, while His spoke, each turn away her face.

Boffet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's
And guite divorce his memory from his part

/Vtn. Therefore I do it ; and, I make no doubt.
The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out
There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown ;
To make theirs ours, and ours none but our own :
Bo shall we stay, mocking intended game;
And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.
[Trumpets BOitnd tcithm.

BoyeL The trumpet sounds; be mask'd, the
maskers come. [The ladka mask.

Eidertht Knro, Biroh, Lokoavillb, and Dumaih,
m RuMtianhabiU and masked; Moth, Musicians,
and Attendants.

Moth, ** All hail, the richest beauties on the
earthr [Aside,



BtroTL Beauties no richer than ridi taftita.

Moth. ^* A holy parcel of the fairest dames,

CTm ladies turn their backs to him.
That ever tum'a their— backs to mortal views I"

Biron, "Their eyes^*^ villain, " their eyes!**

Moth. ** That ever tum'd their eyes to mortal
views I Out" —

Boyet. True ; out, indeed. [voucnsafe

Moth. ** Out of your favours, heavenly spirits,
Not to behold "-

Biron. ** Once to behold,** rogue.

Moth. "Onceto behold yoursun-beamedeyes,"—
" With your sun-beamed eyes " —

BoyeL They will not answer to that epithet;
You were best call it, daughter-beamed eyes.

Moth. They do not mark me, and that brings
me out [rogue I

Biron. Is this your perfectness? begone, you

lios. What would these strangers ? know their
minds. Boyet :
If they do speak our Uingnage, 'tis our will
That some plain man recount their purposes t
Know what they would.

Boyet. What would you with the princess?

Biron, Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.

Bos. What would they, say they?

Boyet. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.

jSm. Why, that they have ; and bid them so
begone. [gone.

Boyet. She says you have it, and you may be-

King, Say to her, we have measured many
To tread a measure with her on the grass.

B^et. Thev say that they have measur'd many
a mile.
To tread a measure with von on the grass.

Bos. It is not so : ask them how many inches
Is in one mile: if they have measnr'd many,
The measure then of one is easily told.

Boyet. If, to come hither you have measnr'd
And many miles, the princess bids von tell,
HoH many inches do fill up one mile.

Biron. Tell her, we measure them by weary

Boj/et. She hears herself. [steps.

Bos. How many weary steps,

Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
Are number 'd in the travel of one mile?

Biron. We number nothing that we spend for
Our duty is so rich, so infinite, [yon ;

That we may do it still without acoompt.
Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of yovi fkoe,
That we, like savages, may worship it.

Bos, My face is but a moon, and clouded too.

King. B|essed are clouds, to do as such clouds do I
Vouchsafe,^ bright moon, and these thy stars, to

(Those douds remov'd) upon our watery eyne.

Bos. vain petitioner I beg a ^eater matter ;
Thou now reqnesfkt but moonshine in the water.

King, Then, in our measure, vouchsafe but <»ii
Thou bidd'st me beg ; this begging is not strange.

Bos, PUy, music, then: nay, you must do it
soon. [Music plaj/s.

Not yet;— no dance:— thus change I like the

King. Will you not dance? How oome you
thus estranged ?

Bos, You took the moon at fiill ; but now she^

King. Yet still she is the moon, andl the man.
The music plays ; vouchsafe soma mption to it

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i2of. Our ears Toochsafe it.
Kirg. But your legs shotUd do it.

Bob. Since 70a are strangers, and come liere hy
Well not be nioe : take hands ;— we will not dance.
King, Why take we hands then?
Bos. Only to part friends :—

Court>7, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.
King. More measure of this measure; be not

JioB. We can afford no more at such a price.
King. Prize jou jourselres : What buys your

Bob, Your absence only.
King. That can never be.

Bos. Then cannot we be bought: and so adieu;
Twice to your visor, and half once to you I
King. If yon deny to daoce, let^ hold more chat.
Bos. In private then.

King. 1 am best pleas'd with that.

[Iliey converse apart.
Biron. White-handed mbtress, one sweet word
with thee. [tliree.

Prin. Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is
Biron. Nay, then, two treys (&u if you grow so
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. — Well run, dice !
There's half a dozen sweets.

Prin. Seventh sWeet, adieal

Since yon can cog, 111 play no more with you.
Biron, One word in secret.
Prin. Let it not be sweet

Biron. Thou griev*8t my gall.
Prin. GaU? bitter.

Biron. Therefore meet.

[TJiey converse apart.
Ihtm. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a
Mar. Name it. [word?

Dtm. Fair lady,—

Mar. Say you so? Pair lord,—

Take yoa that for your fair lady.

Dttm. Please it you.

As much in private, and 111 bid adieu.

[ They converse apart.
Kat/L What, was your visor made without a

Lono. 1 know the reason, lady, why you ask.
K<wu for your reason I quickly, sir ; I long.
Long. You have a double tongue witliin your
Ind would afford my speechless visor half.
Kaih. Veal, quoth the Dutchman:— Is not veal

a calf?
Long. A calf, fair lady?
Katk. No, a fiur lord calf.

Long. Let's part the word.
Km. No, 1 11 not be your half:

Take ail, and wean it ; it may prove an ox.
Long. Look, how you butt yourself in these
sharp mocks f
Will you give horns, chaste lady ? do not so.
Kaih. Then die a calf, before your horns do grow.
Lona. One word in private with you, ere I die.
KaA. Bleat sofUy then, the butcher hears you
cry. [ They converse apart.

Boyet. The tongues of mocking wenches are as
As is the razor's edge invisible. [keen

Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen ;

Above the sense of sense: so sensible
Seemeth their conference; their conceits have

Fleeter than arrows, bnUe^it wind, thought, fwiAor


Bos. Not one word more, my maids : break oif,
break off.

Biron. By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoffi

King. Farewell, mad wenches ; you have simple

[Exeunt Ring, Lords, Moth,
Music^ and Attendants.

Prin. Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites. —
Arc these tlie breed of wits so wonder 'd at?

Boyet. Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths
ouff d out.

J2o«. Well-liking wits they haye; gross, gross;
fat, fat.

Prin, poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout I
Will they not, thinkyou, hang themselves to-nighl{(

Or ever, but in visors shi)W their feces?
This pert Biron was out of countenance quite.

Bos. ! they were all in lamentable cases !
The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.

Prin. Biron did swear himself out of all suit.

Mar. Dumain was at my service, and his sword •
No twihi, quoth I ; my servant straight was mute.

Kath. LonlLongavillesaid. I came o'er his heart;
And trow you what he call'd me ?

Prin. Qualm, perhaps.

Kath. Yes, in good faith.

Prin. Go, sickness as thou art 1

Bos, Well, better wits have worn plain statute-
But will you hear ? the king is my love sworn.

Prin. And quick Biron hath ijlighted faith to nie.

Kath, And Longaville was tor my service bom.

Mar. Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree.

Boyet, Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ears
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes ; for it can never bo,
They will digest this harsh indignity.

Prin. Will they return ?

Boyet. They will, they will, God knows,

And leap for joy, though they are kme with blows :
Therefore, change favours ; and, when they rc'imir.
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.

Prin. How blow? how blow? speak to be

Boyet. Fair ladies, mask*d, are roses in their bud*
Dismask'd, thf ir damask sweet commixture showu,
Are angels veiling clouds, or roses blown.

Prin, A vaunt, perplexity I What shall we do,
If they return in their own shapes to woo ?

Bos. Good madam, if by me youll be advb'd.
Let's muck them still, as well known, as disguis'd*.
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Dlsgub'd like Muscovites, in shapeless gear ;
And wonder what they were : and to what end
Their fihallow shows, and prologue vilely penned.
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.

Boyet. Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at

Prin. Whip to our tents, as roes run over
Exeunt Princess, Rob., Kath., and Maria.

Enter ihsKmQ^ Biron, LoNOAViLLE,aJK2 Domain,
m their proper habits.

King, Fair sir, God save you I Where is the

Boyet. Gone to her tent: Please it your majesty.
Command me any service to her thither?
King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one

Boyet. I will, and so will she, I know, my lord.

Digitized by


Bimfu This fellow pecks ap wit, as pigeons peas,
And ntters it a^in when J eye doth please :
He is wit's peddler ; and retails his wares
At wakes, and wassals, meetings, markets, fairs ;
And we tliat sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Have not the ^ce to grace it with such show.
Tliis gallant pms the wenches on his sleeve ;
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve :
He can carve too, and lisp: Why this is he,
That kiss'd away his liand in courtesy ;
This is the ape of form, Monsieur the nice,
That, when be plays at tables, chides the dice
In honoorablo terms ; nay, he can sing
A mean most meanly; and, in ushering.
Mend him who can : the ladies call him, sweet;
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet :
This is the flower that smiles on every one,
To show his teeth as white as whales* bone ;
And consciences, that will not die in debt,
Pay him the due of honej-tongued Boyet.

King. A blister on his sweet tongue, with my
That put Armado*8 page out of his part !

Enkr Ike PRlNCBas, wiheredly Botet; Rosauhe,
B14RU, Katuarihb, md Attendants.

Birotu See where it comes I — Behaviour, what
wert thou.
Tin this man show'd thee ? and what art thou now ?
King, All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of

Prin. Fair, in idl hail, is foul, as I conceive.
King, Construe my speeches better, if you may.
PrvL Then wish me better, I will give you

King, We came to visit you ; and purpose now
To lead yon to our court : voucnsare it then.
iVvt. This field shall hold me ; and so hold your
Nor God, nor I, delights in peijur'd men.
IRng. Bebuke me not for that which yim
provoke ;
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
Piiiu You nick-name virtue: vice you should
have spoke;
For virtue s office never breaks men's troth.
Kow, by my maiden honour, yet as pure

As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,

I would not yield to be your house's guest :
So much I hate a breakhig cause to be
Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity.
Kiiuf. 0, you have liv*d in desolation here,

Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
Prin, Not so, my lord, it is not so. I swear;
We have had pastimes here, and pleasant gaine ;
A mess of Uussians left us but of Ute.
King, How, madam ? Russians ?

Online LibraryWilliam Michael Rossetti William ShakespeareThe complete works of Shakespeare: With a critical biography → online text (page 59 of 224)