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Dr. of Syr. I'm glad, to see you in this merry

vein ;

What means this jest., I pray you, master, tell me ?
Ant. of Syr. What, dost thou jeer, and flout me

in the teeth,

Think'st thou, I jest ? there take thou that, and that.
Dr. of Syr. Hold, sir, for heav'n's sake : now

your jest is earnest :
Upon what bargain do you give it me ?

Ant. of Syr. Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool, and chat with yon,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport ;
But creep in crannies, when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, then know iny aspect,
And fashion your demeanour to iny looks.
Dr. of Syr. I pray, sir, why am I beaten r
Ant. of Syr. Dost thou not know ?
Dr. of Syr. Nothing; but that I am beaten.
Ant . of Syr. Why, first, for flouting me ; and

then, for urging

It, in spite of my assertion to the contrary.
Is dinner ready?

Dr. of Syr. No, sir ; I think, the meat wants

what I've got.

Ant. of Syr. What's that ?
Dr. of Syr. Why, basting, sir.
Ant . of Syr. No more, thou knave ! for see.
who wafts us yonder :


This way they haste, and by their gestures seem
To point out me. What should they mean, I trow?

Enter Adriana and Luciana.

Adr. Aye, aye, Antipholis ; look strange and

frown ;

Some other mistress hath some sweeter aspect :
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
How comes it now, my husband, O ! how comes it,
That thou art thus estranged to thyself?
Thyself, 1 call it, being strange to me.
O ! do not tear thyself away from me ;
For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulf,
And take unmingled thence that drop again,
As take from me thyself.

Ant of Syr. Plead you to me, fair dame ? I

know you not :

In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
As strange unto your town as to your talk.

Luc. Fie, brother ! how the world is changed

with you !

When were you wont to use my sister thus ?
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

Ant of Syr. By Dromio ?

Dr. of Syr. By me?

Adr. By thee ; and thus thou didst return from

That he did buffet thee", and, in his blows,


Denied my house,, for his ; me, for his wife.

Ant of Syr. Did you converse, sir, with this
gentlewoman ?

Dr. of Syr. I, sir ! I never saw her 'tftl this

Ant. of Syr. Villain, thou liest; for e'en her

very words
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. >

Dr. of Syr. I never spoke with her in all my life.

Ant. of Syr. How can she then thus call us by

our names,
Unless it be by inspiration ?

Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity,
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood !-*-
Come, I will fasten thus upon thy arm ;
Thou art an elm, my husband ; I, a vine,
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
Shares in thy virtues and partakes thy strength.
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, idle moss, or brier,
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion
Infect thy sap, and live on thy destruction.

Ant. of Syr. To me she speaks, she moves me

for her theme.

What, was I married to her in my sleep ?
Or sleep I now? and dream, I hear all this ?
What error thus deceives our eyes and ears ?
Yet that the mystery I may explore,
I'll seem to entertain the fallacy.



Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for

Dr. of Syr. Meaning me?
^Luc. Ay, thee, thou slug!

Dr. of Syr. Spread for dinner !

Ant. of Syr. Am I alive ? Am I Antipholis r
Sleeping or waking ? Mad, or well advis'd ?
Known unto these, yet to myself unknown !
Fain would I learn from whence these wonders flow :
But that I almost fear to trace the source,
So strange is every thing I see and hear.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye, and weep,
While man and master laugh my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner : Dromio, keep the gate :
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.
Come, sister : Dromio, play the porter well.

[Exeunt Adriana, Antipholis of Syracuse,
and Luciana.

Dr. of Syr. Spread for dinner! I am afraid, I shall
Be somewhat aukward, as I arn not well
Acquainted with the customs of the house :
Though, I suppose, they'll be so courteous
To teach a new-comer particularly your ladies
in waiting

Aye, there they go.
And have taken my master with 'em. Sure,


We are in the laud of fairies, arid converse

With sprites and goblins. I wish they mayn't have

Infected my poor master ; for, even now,

He swore to a discourse, I held with him

Here on the mart ; when, I can swear, I was

Talking to the strong box yonder at the Centaur. -

Mighty odd all this! (voice without) Dromio,


Oh ! a lady in waiting-
Dear, sweet, unknown ! thy doating Dromio comes.


Enter Antipholis of Ephesus, Balthazar,
Cerimon, and others.

Ant. of Eph. I do repent me I have staid so

Good night, Balthazar.

Bal. Prithee, Antipholis, be more resolv'd
And by bold remedy still try to cure
Your lady's malady.

Ant. of Eph. Aye in due time but now

Bal. Well for to-night return
But if she welcome you with taunts and jeers,
Tell her your friends grow jealous in their turn,
And missing you, in your accustom'd sports,
Will, ere the dawn shall gild yon mountains' tops,
Once more awake you with the hunter's peal. <

Ant. of Eph. (smiling with satisfaction.) The
hunter's peal !


Cer. Aye your old pastime ! to the chace my

friend ;

And there, if foremost, and you kill the deer
Ant. of Eph. The thought inspires me! and if

we fail

In this our wonted sport still as before
We can recline beneath the greenwood tree
And sing, and laugh at the world's empty
Vain pursuits.

GLEE. (As you Like it.)

Under the greenwood tree,
Who loves to lie with me,
And tune his merry note
Unto the sweet bird's throat,
Come hither, come hither, come hither !
Here shall he see
No enemy,
But winter and rough weather.






Enter Antipholis of Ephesus, Cerimon, Angela,
and Dromio of Ephesus.

Ant, of Eph. Good Signor Angelo,
Say, that I lingerVl with you, at your shop,
To see the making of her bracelet,
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down,
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
And charged him with a thousand marks of gold,
And that I did deny my wife and house.
Thou drunkard thou, what didst thou mean by this?

Dr. of Eph. Say what you will, sir, but I know

what I know :

That you beat me at the mart, I have the marks to

Ant. of Eph. Silence, thou sot; or I shall sober


You're sad, Signor Angelo ; pray heaven, our cheer
May answer my good-will, and your good welcome.
But soft, my door is locked : Sirrah, ring the bell.

Dr. of Eph. \_Rmgs.~] O, he's a little soberer,
and he does know his own house now.


Ant. ofEph. Will they not hear ?

Dr. of Ef>h. In good truth, I think they will not.
My mistress, sure, means to be quits with you,
master : you denied her awhile ago, and now, she's
determined to deny you,

Ant. of Eph. Have done, thou varlet. Call to
them ; bid them let us in.

Dr. of Eph. Maud, Hermia, Marian, Cicely,
Gillian, Madge!

Dr. oj Syr. \Withln^\ Mome, malt-horse, capon,
coxcomb, idiot, patch! Dost thou conjure for
wenches, that thou call'st for such store, when one
is one too many ? Go get thee from the gate.

Dr. of Eph. What patch is made our porter?
My master stays in the street.

Dr. of Syr. [_Withm.~\ Let him walk from
whence he came ; lest he catch cold in his feet.

Ant. of Eph. Who talks within there? Hoa,
open the door.

Dr. of Syr. [Within.'] Right, sir : I'll tell you
when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant . of Eph. What art thou, there, that keep'st
me from mine own house ?

Dr. of Syr. The porter, sir, and my name is

Dr. of Eph. O, villain, thou hast stolen both
mine office and my name.

Hermia. \_Withiri\ Why; what a coil is there ?
Dromio, who are those at the door ?

Dr. of Eph. Let my master in.


Her. \Withln^\ Peace, fool ! my master's here

Ant . of JEph. Do you hear, you minion ? You'll
let us in, I trow.

Her. \_Withm.~\ Can you tell for whose sake ?

Dr. of Eph. Master, knock at the door hard.

Dr. of Syr. [Within. ~] Let him knock till it ache.

Adriana. [_Withln.~\ Who is at the gate, that
keeps all this noise ?

Ant. of Eph. Are you there, wife ? You might
have come before.

Adr. \JWithin.~\ Your wife, sir knave ! -Go,
get you from the gate.

Ant of Eph. Get from the gate ! What means

this saucy language ?
There's something more in this. Why Adriana!

Adr. [Within^] Hence, you familiar coxcomb !

Cease your noise ;

Or you shall dearly pay for all this outrage.
Dromio, be sure, you keep fast the doors against 'em.

Ant. of Eph. Why, wife, I say,

Dr. of Syr. [Within. ~\ She's gone back to din-
ner, sir, to take a refreshing cup ; and has no time
to answer idle questions now.

Ant. of Eph. Now, on my soul, some strange

mysterious guile

Lurks underneath this unaccustorn'd usage :
Some shameful minion here is entertain'd.

Ang. Have patience, sir : O, let it not be thus ;
Herein you war against your reputation,


And draw within the compass of suspect
The inviolated honour of your wife.

Cer Aye, sir, your long experience of her


Her sober virtue, years, and modesty
Plead, on her part, some cause to you unknown ;
And, doubt it not, but she will well excuse
Why at this time, the doors are barred against you.

Ant. of Eph. Shall I be thus shut forth from my

own house,

While they are revelling to my dishonour ?
Go, fetch an instrument : Pll break the door,
Shatter it all to pieces, but I'll enter.
Go. (To Dromio, stamping and menacing).

Dromio. Gone ! [Exit.

Ang. Be rul'd by me : depart in patience,
And let us to the Tiger go to dinner ;
And, about evening, come yourself alone.
To know the reason of this strange restraint.
If by strong hand you offer to break in,
Now, in the stirring passage of the day,
A vulgar comment will be made on it ;
And that supposed by the common rout,
Against your yet ungalled estimation,
That may with foul intrusion enter in,
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead !
For slander lives ev'n to posterity,
For ever hous'd, when once it gets possession.

Cer. It does it does let him prevail iny lord.


Ant. of Eph. You have prevailed : I will depart

in quiet ;

And, in despite of wrath, try to be merry.
I know a wench of excellent discourse,
Lesbia by name ; wild, and yet right gentle ;
There will we dine : this woman that I mean,
My wife, but I protest, without desert,
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal :
To Lesbia we'll to dinner. Get you home,
And fetch the jewel ; by this, I guess, 'tis made :
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine ;
For there's the house ; and there will I bestow it,
Be it for nothing but to spite my wife,
Upon this Lesbia. Use dispatch.

Ang. I will.

I'll meet you at that place some hour, sir, hence,
That is, if Fate or evil spirits, say not nay.
For I know not why
Though ne'er to superstition given,
I could believe we trod upon enchanted ground,
And elves and witches were abroad.


Ant. of Eph. And 1. And now I recollect, last


I dreamt St. Withold had the desart left,
And as the bell tolled " one," hover'd and shriek'd
Like the ill-omen'd bird, with fatal knell,
Around my dwelling.


DUET. (King Lear).

St. Wlthold footed thrice the wold,

He met the night-mare, and her nine-fold ;

Bid her alight)

And her troth plight,
And aroint thee, witch ! aroint thee, right !




Antipholis of Syracuse, Adriana, and
Luciano, discovered.

/Idr. Why, why was 1 to this keen rnock'ry

born ?

How at your hands have I deserv'd this coldness r
Jn sooth, you do me wrong : there was a time
When I believed, so fond was rny credulity,
The sun was scarce so true unto the day,
As you to me.

Ant. of Syr. I would some friendly light
Might chase away the mist that clouds our fancies,
And give this dream a meaning! True, I see
These beauteous bowers, in nature's fragrance rich ;
Behold the painted children of her hand,
Flaunting in gay luxuriance all around ;
I see imperial Phoebus' trembling beam
Dance on the curly brook ; whose gentle current
Glides imperceptibly away, scarce staying
To kiss th j embracing bank.


Adr. So glides away
Thy hasty love, O, apt illusion !
And mocks my constant and attentive care,
That seeks in vain to keep it.

Luc. Dearest hrother,

Why turn on me your eyes ? regard rny sister,
Who with such earnest suit solicits you
To heal her wounded peace.

Adr. It cannot he>

But that some frenzy hath possest his mind,
Else could he not with cold indifference hear
His Adriana pleading. Music's voice
O'er such entranc'd dispositions
Hath oft a magic power, and can recall
The wandering faculties. That song, which in
The happy morn of life, first won his love,
That song, I'll try again.

SONG. (Sonnets.)


Come, live with me, and be my love,
And we will all the pleasure prove,
That hill and valley, dell andjield,
And all the craggy mountains yield :
There will we sit upon the rocks,
And see the shepherds feed their flocks ;
There will 1 make thee beds of roses,
With a thousand fragrant posies ;


IJ these delights thy mind may move,
Then, live with me, and be my love.


Come, live with me, and be my dear,
And we wilt revel all the year
In plains and groves, on hills and dales,
Where fragrant air breathes sweetest gales.
There shall you have the beauteous pine,
The cedar, and the spreading vine ;
The birds, with heavenly tuned throats,
Possess wood-echoes with sweet notes :
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then, live with me, and be my love.

Luc. Speak, speak to her, Antipholis.

Adr. In vain ; there is some magic in thine eye
That hath infected his : Perchance, to thee
He may unfold the source of his distemp'rature :
For me, no longer will I sue for that
My right may claim : loose infidelity
And lawless passion have estrang'd his soul.
Yet, think, my husband, could'st thou bear the like?
Preserve then equal league with thy true bed ;
Keep me unstain'd, thou undishour'd live.

[Exit Adriana.

Luc. And may it be, that you have quite forgot
A husband's office ? Shall, Antipholis,
Ev'n in the spring of love, thy passion fade ?
If you did wed iny sister for her wealth,


Then, for her wealth 's sake, use her with more

kindness :

Or, if you like elsewhere, do it in secret ;
Let not my sister read it in your eye,
Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator :
Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty,
Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger.

Ant . of Syr. Now, by the air we breathe, I vow,

sweet lady,

My senses are all srnother'd up in wonder ;
All hut my sight ; with that, methinks, I view
An angel pleading ; and while, thus delighted,
I may peruse the graces of that brow,
I will not wish the mystery unfolded ;
But to your chidings pay submissive awe,
As to a holy mandate : * Speak, speak on.

Luc. Be secret false: Why need she be acquainted?
What simple thief brags of his own bad deeds ?
'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,
And let her read it in your looks at board ;
Then gentle brother, get you in again ;
And call my sister, wife ; comfort her, cheer her ;
'Tis holy sport, to be a little false,
When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.

Ant. of Syr. Sweet mistress, let me call you by

that name,

Teach me, C) teach me how to think, and answer ;
Lay open to my shallow gross conceit
The folded meaning of your sugar 'd words.
Against my soul's pure truth, why labour you


To make it wander in an unknown path ?

Are you a goddess ? Would you new-create me ?

Transform rne then, and to your power I'll yield:

But, if I am Antipholis, I swear,

Your weeping sister is no wife to me :

O, no ! to you alone my soul inclines ;

Then train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy voice,

To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears.

Sing, syren, for thyself, and I will dote : (Kneels.)

Spread o'er the silver waves thy glossy locks,

And, as a bed, I'll take thee ; there I'll lie,

And in that glorious supposition, think,

He gains by death, that hath such means to die.

Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason
thus ?

Ant. of Syr. Not mad, enchanted; how, I do
not know.

Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye.

Ant of Syr. From gazing on your dazzling
beams, fair sun.

Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear
your sight.

Ant of Syr. As good to wink, sweet love, as
look on darkness.

Luc. Why call you me, love ? call my sister so.

Ant of Syr. Thy sister's sister.

Luc. That's my sister.

Ant . of Syr. No ;

It is thyself, my own self's better half,
My eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart,


My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim.
Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be,
Ant. of Syr. Call thyself sister, sweet ; for thee
I mean :

Thee will I love, with thee would spend iny days :

Give me thy hand.

Luc. O, soft, sir ; hold you still :

I'll seek my sister, to get her consent,

If she approve, I shall accord, no doubt.

[Going, .stops.

And yet, Antipholis, is it not fit

This mockery should end come, raise, console her,

Let not so fair a flower fade, droop and perish.

SONG. Love's Loss."

Sweet rose ! fair flower, untimely plucked, soon


Pluctfd in the bud, and faded in the spring !

Bright orient pearl! alack! too timely shaded!

Fair creature ! kitCd too soon by death's dark

sting !

Like a green plum, (hat hangs upon a tree,
And falls (through storm?) before that fall should





Enter from the "House of A ntiphclis of Syracuse.

Ant. of Syr. O, subtle power ! O, soil too capable!
Scarce had her sun of beauty warrn'd my heart,
When the gay flower of love, disclosing fragrance,
Sprung up at once, and blossom 'd to perfection,
Ere well the bud was seen.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse, from the House ;
he passes Antipholis without seeing him, and
is hastening off.

Why, how now, Dromio :
Where run'st thou so fast ?

Dr. of Syr. Do you know me, sir? Am I Dro-
mio ? Am I your man ? Am I myself ?

Ant. of Syr. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man,
thou art thyself.

Dr. of Syr. I am an ass, I am a woman's man,
and beside myself.

Ant. of Syr. What woman's man ? and how beside

Dr. of Syr. Marry, sir, beside myself, I am due
to a woman ; one that claims me, one that haunts
me, one that will have me.

Ant. of Syr. What claim lays she to thee ?


Dr. of Syr. Marry, sir, such claim as you would
lay to your horse.

Ant . of Syr. What is she ?

Dr. of Syr. A very reverend body ; and, though I
have but lean luck in the match, yet she is a wond 5 -
rous fat marriage : Sir, she's the kitchen-wench, all
grease ; and I know not what use to put her to, but
to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her
own light

Ant. of Syr. I'll warrant, the rags, and the tal-
low in them, will burn a Poland winter.

Dr. of Syr. They would, indeed, sir : to con-
clude ; this drudge laid claim to me, called me Dro-
mio, swore I was betrothed to her, told me what
secret marks I had about me ; as the marks on my
shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on
my left arm ; that I, amazed, ran from her, as a
witch : and, I think, if my breast had not been made
of faith, and my heart of steel, she would have
transform'd me to a curtal dog, and made me turn
in the wheel.

Ant. of Syr. Sure, none but witches can inhabit

here ;

And therefore 'tis high time that we were hence.
Go, hie thee presently, post to the road^
And if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town to-night,
If any bark put forth, come to the mart.

Dr. of Syr. I fly with joy ; for now I shall be
blown safe,




From this same scullion this mountain of mad flesh.

[As he is going off., the fat Kitchen Wench
suddenly throws up the window in Anti-
phbwSs house y and shakes herjist at him.

Kitch. W. Come back, or I'll so baste theeDromio.

Dr. of Syr. Tis she ;
As from a bear, a man would run for life,
So I from her, who swears she is my wife !

[Exit Dromio.

Ant. of Syr. 'Tis all illusion ! \\ho comes now?

Enter Angela with a ^Bracelet.

Ang. Master Antipholis,
Ant. of Syr. Ay, that 's my name.
Ang. I know it well, sir : Lo, here is the brace-
let :-

I thought to have ta'en you at the Porcupine ;
It being unfinished, made my stay thus long.

Ant. of Syr. \\ hat is your will that I should do

with this ?
Ang. Ev'n what you please, sir : I have made it

for you.
Ant. of Syr. Made it for me, sir : I never once

bespoke it.
Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times, you


Go home with it, and please your wife withall:
About your supper-time I '11 visit you,
And then receive my money for the bracelet.


Ant. of Syr. I pray you, sir, since you will force

it on me,

Receive the money now ;
For fear you ne'er see that, or jewels, more.

Ang. You are a merry man, sir : Fare you well.

[Exit Angelo.

Ant. of Syr. Wonder on wonder rises every mo-
ment !

\Vhat I should think of this, I cannot tell:
However strange, here on my arm I '11 wear it,
Preserve it safe, as fortune's happy pledge :
Oft' as I look on it, I'll heave a sigh,
And say, the self-same hour that gave thee to me,
Gave me to gaze on Luciana's eyes :
So will 1 make a profit of a chance,
And treasure up a comfort in affliction.
Unwillingly I go : my wounded soul,
Howe'er from Ephesus my body part,
Lingers behind in Luciana's heart.




A River surrounded by Mountains, whose tops are
covered with snow. Across the River is a rustic
Bridge. Horns heard without and Balthazar,
Cerimon, and others, are seen crossing the Bridge
dressed as Hunters.

Bal. Here ends our chase : and though Antipholis
Declin'd our sport, has he in Ephesus
Known more ?

Cer. I warrant no, Balthazar.
Never did hounds send forth such gallant chiding !
The woods, the mountains, every region round
Re-echoed with their cry ! Oh ! who e'er heard
So musical a discord, such sweet thunder.

Bal. A sound more tuneable
Was never holla' d to, or cheer'd with horn.
Go, forester lead the hounds home, and there
We '11 crown the joys of this autumnal day,
With fireside pastime Oh! to court flies
Leave transient summer joys.


(Love's Labour's Lost.)

When icicles hang by the wall,

And Dick, the shepherd, blows his nail 9

And Tom bears logs unto the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;


When blood is nipp j d, and ways be foul ',
Then nightly sings the staring owl,

To-who -

Tu-whit^ to.who, a merry note,
While bonny Joan doth keel the pot.

When all aloud the wind doth bl(,w,

And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,

And Mariaris nose looks red and raw !
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the ^taring owl,


Tu whit, to-who, a merry note,
While bonny Joan doth keel the pot.





Enter Angela, Chares, and an Officer.

Cha. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due ;
And since, I have not much importun'd you :
Nor had 1 now, sir, but that I am hound
To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage :
Therefore make present satisfaction,
Or I attach you by this officer.

Ang. Ev'n just the sum that I do owe to you,
Is growing to me from Antipholis ;
And, in the instant that I met with you,
He had of me a bracelet: at five o'clock,
I shall receive the money for the same :
Please you but walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Off. That labour you may spare ; see where he

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Online LibraryWilliam ShakespeareThe comedy of errors, in five acts → online text (page 2 of 4)