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Southern accent, Sept. 2000-Dec.. 2000 (Volume v.56, pt. 1) online

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Tiffany Harris -This!
character plays with r
intensity and is a forcl
lo contend with.



Ricky Schwarz-I've
said it once and I'll say
it again, this boy is a
human highlight reel.




Thuisday, October 26, 2000



Prosser's People



t people you might not know






Carin
Non-Profit



Carin Orange ■ Senioi



nought I could actually fly



cents/young adults; Caj
f: Jerilyn: t



: "1 wsh the ing to myself

neover If you wen an action htn

ikes you cry - Judy; MacGyver's heroic









Recommended
R o a d t r i p




-Free raffle (Ihat means free sluff)
-All college ages

-Beginner to expert
-Transportati
-Bring wfiat you fiave.. .yourself, a friend
luipment, no problem. We fiave tfie goods and knowledge to keep yoti safe.

L SCOTT PARKER 238.3362
R JAMES PETERSON 238.3360




.'iiKk.- K The Southern Accent



EDITORIALS

Help fund new dorm housing



pleted by next sctioo
ond Ihe T.1BC H.ll
,ion btins comptele



Your duty is to vote




Eyes and ears



ampus ihrough ihe eyes ami ears of a student









ly legacy ofnmbitious word



Is YOU. Want lo help?



Ellie's answers



pie! Currenlly, Ihei



ship credit. \Vhy Finding aj



Kennedy and
Johnsim began
civil righis far/



cftcclively a



; media. Of cour^-, Uiey be your first choice. Tliere

n't turn lo mylhicil dieti- m- others, most nolablcly

i lor help, although Ralph Nadi-r o( Ihe Green

aughi highly ot this you support, your choice



Letters to
the Editor

Kudos to online Accei



le only way to keep up to da






ight V<



Voting days

Early voting: Now tlirough November 2

General voting; November 7

VOTE: IT IS YOUR VOICE






ing Worships

Wanting Worships ed in Wright H



rs help find a solution.



c to have a Ellie will reply lo you

center, in umn. This column is direct

asn'l being office wlh a student cmplo)

med some- cc researchmg and answei



The Southern Accent
Editorial Advisory Board



Gore promises
victory at Nashvill
fundraiser



NASHVILLE - D
andidate Joseph U



me fundraiser at the WId ^°^'^ comp:

^orse Saloon. Gore thanked ■>>■ ■>'•" '» " '

;ncouraaed Ihem lo J^tTin "^^'^ •'a/' h"-' P

jore said^ refe?rii^^to"lh'e '^""•^ *'^* '

liffererice between him and ^'"cee. Celeb

Jidate George W. Bush, '^ R^y Cyrus and^ PaW



Campus, world events The library is NOT your own love nest
to be commended ,Jce""h"™'c™;uf» r,:s,™o".don™™.S;: rfrS'^a^S'^c.:';!:!! XTf".:f°LT»'°d



[Jewspaper
) inform
Ind solve
Iroblems



particular a
addressed.



being a member, wt
Bicycle Fleel (a te
great use around c



the Middle



For pity's s

ple.Doyoirlli



u think Ihat maybe you





At first I thought thai














they started talking and


place to study? I hope that as


against the U.S.S.


'^d^L^^mind'Seril


C- ^ ,


sucking face in intervals. It


cert^ people spend more


il was refueUng in
Over 30 other


glingthalgotlome.





ing to study. 1 finally could-


they will MATURE some.


the United sJles is


moment I thought things


-^ , ^^


"iri'SS"'!""!


nest. Kindly keep it to your


g the Middle East.


they weren't giggling any-


asking Ilicm to al least keep










s stationed abroad


more. To be quite honest, 1


Janelle


Te" to Jtti'S'At'le'itX'y


be.


^raveIy^S"dS


ferred the incessant gig-


Wasmer


"''A'"«hite""*», our


JaneSe is a senior com-


e^n'^''S'%.thony


smacking/sucking sounds


eaten for lunch was threa


puter ^/sterns administra-
tion major Jwm Tennessee.


s October 16, 2000,


ing out in the depths of the


ening to rise...as was m


along out of the library


Sie credits Sie iedmohg;/


ph Nader, perhaps


slacks. I picked up a book.


lands over my ears. Didn


much to the delight of e very-
other people who actually


section qfOieAccetH



Cady
1 Dolson



The deviPs day is coming




tunica was installed as


editor. Only then cQi






Dejan Pujic or Marko


from which every


















and rfrcnter the eom-


by the students of


Vhile pobtical stability is


Dave is a sent


yed here in the United


communications



Is there an issue that you feel strongly

about it? Want to write about it? Send

your submissions to

[email protected]



Don't believe everything candidates say in political campaigns



chagUmpse of what both


H'^'v^'let"


ns ranged from outrage to
ghter to outright, well,


these Ihings an

campaign's


eptical of both parlies, 1
nsider myself objecUve,


is a sampling
have gathered:


d^^vllteJ^^S^J^ongsrur


^"o.Vu'Se^r'd


ler be expected to sift
rough the barrage of num-


firn"Vof


do NOT beUeve every-


^•tB



m

David
Maples



e direction for where h



' Thimday, October 26, 2000



How to loose patience with every tiling




1 dermitely thing. Then

CONFUSED PARENT:

iOU TELL ME \VI

CAUSE HE'S NOT



VOU TELL ME WHERE MY SON
iUSEH """

DESK

CONRISED ' PARENT:
3NTKN0W^VHE[f-""
DESK WORKER:

iking devi(



ackages DO NT KNOW LVH ERE
odisap- DESK WORKE"
of ques- apparently he used




cafeteria knife paid.S



uckin h



hrough I



Rules of the Air

1. Every take off is optional. Every landing is manditory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger,
tf you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is
unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back; then
they all get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is.

4. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth
repels them.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when
you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane
used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can see
the pilot sweating.

V. A 'good' landing is one firom which you can walk away.
A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the
plane again.

8. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to
the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small proba-
bility of survival and vice versa.

9. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everyone
keeps talking about might be another airplane going in
the opposite direction.

10. Always ti-y to keep the number of landings you make
equal to the number of take offs you've made.



Aiiigators



wildlife is advising hik-
ers, hunters, fishers
and golfers to take
extra precaution and
keep alert for alliga-
tors while in Osceola,
Polk, Brevard and
Orange County, They
advise people to wear

devices such as little
bells on their clothing
to alert but not startle



Answering machine message!

Compiled by Joe LaCom

10 Hi I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like,
so leave a message and then if I don't call back if s you.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages, my owners do not need new cred. cards, _
cookbooks, and/or affordable insurance at a low low price.

8 Hi this is John. If you are a phone company. I already sent the
money; if you are my parents, please send money, rf you are
my financial aid institution, you didn't lend enough money; rf
you are my friends, you owe me money; if you are a female,
I have plenty of money

7. Please leave a message. However, you have the nght to remain
silent Everything you say can and wiU be recorded and
used by us. , . ■ u- r^ t

6. Hi. John's answering machine is broken, this is his retngerator.
Please speak very slowly, and Til stick your message to
myself with one of these magnets.

5. Hello, I'm John's answering machine.... what are you?

4*. Hi. this is John. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now.
Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call

3. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought

recording device. After the tone, think about your name, yoiir|
number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about
returning your call.

2. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning oiir
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise,
we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.
i, now you say something.



pectedly. They also
advise the carrying of
pepper spray in case of

alligator. It is also a
good idea to watch (or
fresh signs of alligator
activity. People should
recognize the differ-
between small
young, alligator and
large, adult alligator
droppings. Young alli-
gator droppings



Kids answers to all of
life's questions




Thursday, November 1


, 2000


Vol. 56 No.8


Election 2000 _




Opinion


H„«Jidst„de„B,=art m


ill ■Jm^'^^r


i 1 Read about what some


1(1 an unoftkial do)1 H


TiiVviuUuM .'


'^ students did during a


taken about the presi- ■
denial election? H




gm Halloween costume


P.CE3S




25 PAGE 11



Religion

Read about Jan
Haluska's trip from the
anny to the classroom.



Tk Southern Ai




Political Beer by the drink law up at next commission meeting

debate to be

held tonight ^lIl^HrcTcoS r™S™Vrci'T. ;r»c."itoii"




irn Gaza Strip, hospital


Hicks


otDghtinghave left 147


answers


lURMANSK, Rusaifl

iussian naval officials


senators'


.ri-jSorrc


questions




By Cady Van Dolsor


l8ol a fnrlhtr search of

H But others alleged
M searching the front of

mpH B"reHe"vTio"


Henry Hicks, executive
director of Information Sys-
tems, attended Tuesday's


"»_

'""day will be partly
k^a high Df'n^H

J™' «^" high off 77


asked were related to prob-
lems with the phone system.

paid long-distance phone
the Information Systems

our telephone system is
designed to use," Hicks






|;°toS""'"""''4




i;:;;:;:i:;::S


-TTiafs why we can't
make a bunch of 1-800 lines


l^a





Virus infects many
faculty computers



his brother, Bueklee; his sis-
ter. Fawna: Keith WiUley;
Bryan Vyhmeister; Jep
Calkins and Jenny Harlow.



Eller explained that a fire-




Contact the Accent



The Southern Accent

P.O. Box 370

Collegedak, Tenn. 37315

(423) 238-2721

http://acceiH, southern. cdu

[email protected]

About the Accent



GyiiMiiasterswiir~
perform at gym clinil




Southern holds
Fall Festival



FamUy Theatre Workshop presents

"Twelve Angry Jurors."

Performances will be held November 2-4 and Noveml

7-1 lin the Community Theatre at Memorial AuditoriJ

at 7:30 p.m.

Student tickets are $6.50 and group discounts are av|

able.

For more information, call 825-5553.



t v.-as designMi
;t logelher and



Don't miss tonight's debate with
the Republican and Democrat
clubs at 7:00 in Lynn Wood Hall,
Tom Griscom, executive editor of
the Chattanooga Times and
Chattanooga Free Press will be

the moderator.
Convocation credit will be given.



WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALI
HOME MORE OFTEN?

Check out our Phone Card.

COMPARE RATES!!!

Check our card against ttie ones you buy at

Walraart, Drug Stores, Convenience Stores,

Office Max and even Cell Plionc Deals,

THIS CARD BEATS THEM ALL!

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1000 Minutes for $10.00

YAK ATTACK reduction!

Call now! 423-559-3112




Thursday, November 2, 2000



The X Factor



|who are you planning to vote for in Which party are you affiliated
the presidential elections? with?





Your internet connection to the action



■THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY:



if America - www. coll egeder



ic National Committee (DNC) -



npaign Committee (DCCC) -
il (DLC) ■ www.ndol.orB



■4PARTi:

icialParh Site -www.lp.org

■ertarian Party of Tennessee ■ www.lptn.org

eriarian Party Archives - archive.lp.org

; Uberlarianism FAQ - www.tuxedo.orH/-esr/faqs/lib<

E NATURAL LAW PARTY:






e (NRSC) - \^-ww,nra



|fopuBlicali National Committee CKNCl - w

alpuhS Con^E^e'LiondammiHeelNRCC) -

CounW Republican Party - hcgop.com

in Presidential Task Force - www.nrsc.org/conlents/tasktorc

le^GOP Information Network - members.lripod.com/GOPInfoNet/

publicanl^ce



lOCour






Sample Ballot



■candidates for PRESIDENT & VICE-PRESIDENT:

'Joe Lieberman (Democratic Party) - wwwjyGore3000.c(
V. Bush / Dick Cheney {Republican Party) - www.georgei
:athy Gordon Brown / Sabrina R, Allen (Independc ■'



n Party) - www.hagelin.oi






iNDIDAIBSFORTHE U.S. SENATE:
Democratic Party) - www.clark



One "Wrile.ln" Option for Stale Repre



(B)N-7!%.
Answer. Ralph Nader


the Green Party pre'


denfialomdid




(A)Y-8*.
(B)N-92%.


the Libertarian Part}


presidentia] c


andidatei




the Reform Party pr


„ide.d..»,d


dattK-


Answer: Pat Buchanai








US "Do you know wh


(he RepubUcan Part-


presidential c


andidate


(A)Y-96%.








S^ -Did you watch ar


,.„c..,h=0.«p,.


idendldete.


.r



arly vice-presidential candidate is



Tlo the political views of your family influence



#17 ■ "Do tlie political vi



Political quotations



i to be decided, perhaps the best tiii
, so the whole cosily and complia



-He who lakes the oath loday to preserve, protect. Mid uctena uit
tiled Slates only assumes the solumn obligation which ci'ery pain o
are tfrtUi him . f . Your every voter, as surely as your Chief Magislr
eh sanction, lliough in a different sphere. exereisM a Pyl"'"^ "^^^
Gnrv-er Cleveland, in his inagural address, March 4, 1885




Webster says in Napster debate, arlsts against

^^=sr^ .;;,i"rr;r.s: ™ss.r- piracy lobby for musicians



«s since J


t"" liX (ortr^saipTof the


site docs a good job spelling












wants to do. bul the only




' '' labeled "WlierelliPy Stand'


problem is knowing the










^'^}. side companson of ihe can-




ihL- issiii's


lo '^^^^ posiuon


Bush hasasearch feature ai








cd in [he


^s' www.alBore2000.cora


where you can search




■^.' George W, Bush insists


Ihrough the news, issues, or


.^ir.nr'iM.


"l'"' Eri^l^ndMTnslhe


Quaylc. skip this user-










Z J^;^^; '^^^ 'Si" he'tad?


only gel frustrated and won-




'''^- BusSh^dsdot!i%henU


anylhing. Instead, scroll




'''*^ comes to tasy access lo


you see a box highlighted in



- Christina Aguilera Is mad. do withi



Napster signifies a need not



the battle about the need for i
sa-conglom- the singles market i



stofthe gettingmusii



line believe they'll be more
mercially successful do
you for themselves.



;r-to-peer file pletely free



digital files? I d






ne insists major label consume

1 are faring a dilemma simply b

off each record's sales, sumera t
is pirated



before they buy it- way that doesn'

Stone says it's time lo lei artists of reveni

the online file-sharing com- seal at the negoti

panies know that ihe lasl Ultimately, he saj

are the artists themselves. ing it for free. And ihi

slowly resizing the Web is doesn't want an






r and other
labels don't



Hundreds camp out to await
release of PlayStation II



Profs crack computer code meant to
protect online music files



Jll 11




challenging people to








bypass four watermarking




Ihe^holiday season dr^ws


PRINCETON, NJ. (U-


marking shields on down-


all^h"ad'^sl'lT«2 Set So






loadable music samples








without damaging the origi-








































money people will be willing




copyrighl marks for record


















so that the hidden signals, interested i


But monetary gains


ity professors, three gnidu-


ing MPJJisfribution giants


the so-called 'watermarks.' dialogue by
















tlie money Uiough," he


oagues at Rice responded to
a challenge issued Sept. 6 by


scrambling lo develop lech-
nology that would tighten


University computer science "One, it
professor and spokesman ing techni


argued. "1 want it because it


















ncluding Sony, Universal,


the technology in digital


electrical engineering pro- Two, we (ei






Best a nd worst of the wel



lp://.™^.poUOc,.com ™J;,f^^',



The Technology section is look-
ing for writers. Please email
[email protected],
[email protected]
or call 2721.






graphs describing the!



^d, ihey have loo much



many gutteral
hackidO



K. Diech, and little "coi^ur area.
In,., w , Its not a ghasUy !

1 put Minolta just a really boring sil




londay conversation with Demetrius Birch



Jlympics?


ninrfo


Southe


bbath. I came to 1 just didn't like (Barry)
n with the inlention Switzer. past head coach of


people in


llympics. I plai


TnnC


1^''


ming a pastor, but Oklahoma Univereily; 1 like
hings changed when the way Nebraska plays foot-




iSbrnowIju;!


Greece-


cholon


here. Now I'm just ball, how confident they are,
oing to school, and and their power running


People



16



e£r% """^ Things overheard during the World Series



n football this year n't like



By Rob York



) play foolbali. but I



1^ teci'"o^f£orthSj'don-i ''°- "^^^ ^'^ '^®^® 9^y^ ^^3' 'he Cardinals?"

ear like the referees. So maybe 9. "I'm not watching it. I hale New Yofk. Uhm, what's the

lod they should gel a team sCOre?"
ost together, and maybe travel- , ,

ihe ing. like a basketball leam or 8. I wonder how the TV receptioH is in Atlanta."

'S, YkT^T^N T f'°l^vi '"^f ^- "°^ ^°^^ °"' " ^^® °"'y 3" ^S ^^^ s'ider! I could've hit

ir^ course. ' that!"

.n? wh«*?s*^''oi?'^rt^d'4o ^" ' ^^^^ ^^^^ ^ Yankees fan my whole life! No, I don't know

"is tiine? ^ ^^"^ " who Joe DiMagglo is."

5. "Can we please stop seeing shots of Jeter?"
4. "I'm sure glad Bob Costas isn't announcing anymore."
3. "I stopped studying for that World Civ exam for this?"
2. "Where did all these Cardinals fans come from, anyway?"
1 . "Maybe this wouldn't be a good time to talk to Negron
about worship requirements."



ly not look like it



ame updates: Football in review



iy Morgan Hochenower



■s. Hamilton,
suplc 'limes,



n Ted Struntz. Nudd Tried a last



who helped Key shawn John



r first place position b


upper diwsion playoffs




un from Br


















light, and Lemon agai










their quarterback. Rob


timw't''


lu^Uc^






























Iheenc














played aggressively and


13-6. Jo


nson got t
















e length o;


ro're!"Tdon?1!n?wb'u


without a deep safety. Stuart
had a good night at quarter-


^eS


k'^sc^d"




















T Nudd's next game is


Johnson






against Hamilton (M) who






The Saints played intimi


[S also coming off a loss. Slu-








arl (3-2) plays Watson (4-1)














e night








calls that went agains


Baroee6vs.DeGimuO
I Uiouglil DeGrave just


r'pam


"enSe^" '


amEdmjsterandhadalo


might get a wining steak


John


on (2-3) pi.



Jtiwiai24viaNu]d20



Barnelt who is



1-2 Miller. Miller the length o



" (!-3) plays



s NfVP, played witii



Crystal Edmisler



■e (1-3) plays play because ICi
!-l) next, and it don't want lo r






The RA's played s



fundamental fool
Monte "Shaft- I



EDITORIALS
Accent doesn't
endorse candidate




Worship system
improving



Letters to the Editoi

Newspaper underappreciated poUing transportation Unfail



Hall, checking o



_ ,, .|i • . • islered already in Tennessee someoneelse toput ilthere. voice your opinion you t

Library will maintain °z.°'7,2TXl'Zi 1^;^.?.™"!!.°"! ""S'li*™" h
atmosphere for study I






The Southern Accent



Ellie's answers



making. Bui read The Jungle" by Upton call. You o



Drivers can take whomevei
they please to the polls



1 that the adverdser the right to dt
blican and wants to pleases. At h



iil~ Eyes and ear j

Id place il in the brass mail- ^

xM healed in Wright Hall Causing casual anarchy and governnmilal awaremess on Southern's i



reply to it in a weekly CO









is nostalgic Z„^V






painting of His love Long live the republic!

n close. 1 don't ^H^ with lear-slained cheeks and

ry lines with ^^^^B Janelle the pain of the world deep in
sso or even ^^^^V Chang his eyes. His shoulder are

take a look at ^^^^^^^P dcncd. And his hands

; recognizable ,__^ His once youthful-looking




rtonly equipped with skills pie-blossomed
lugh to make f^'O'^^S unnoUi
k figures witli we walkway. Tti



like to transtorn

into a paint hi

^er into canvas

ectives into aery



personality, appc
bobbing its head
ly. lis petals 1



only one way (o


ss^ —





wasting taxpayers money on


SrZe


"raxS


tovole.-nietorfs






failed Soda! Security ven-






















i^ii


1 am voUng for Bush
because he will return honor


Z-eon"


klZiS








and integrity to the Office of








vole" option, if yoi




the Presidency, white the
















ies. Uw ,










T,enlimd






dates, or the platfon
























And while we ar












subject this is mj




because he will honor Amer-














ndthey




1. World War U or


for m the presiden


al elec-


quibble before foreign pow-


haves





ark that only fow^r with his hand
urdy-bristled pa">t an angel. He's waiting



r path. Your schedule.



junseling through yi
touch. He could do



ortunately, tha
especially



t the



1. But perhaps when Tm beauty
won't find that ca'ch i
e quite so ordi- "^^ by. Slop. Pli



e-stemmed



icle. And



side.



ig. Peaceful-
Unstirred.



stretched towari

^hild !(eeps reaching

enes sioreu ui iiiy and to you her giggle is
itiently waitmg to bewildering. Wth the color















r.^^srs2


political opponents, whil


fully work if


s


^t!^i:z


in poUtical bickering.
Finally, I am voting fo


ence. By do
guaranting


<l.y, Novem


slitutional rights fincluding
the right to bear arms),
while the other candidate


their government, while th


enjoyed by iJ


,.er»tn.l.


stands for violating one of


government and its incftec


mass conmu


iicaliBHS m



Stoves and bowling balls




^Binf„... .


nputaled




list!


e wors


thing I have


own Alth




am glad


fcn"'she


not only in


I'r'd'


"Z}


IJaIrt


llrTcSd"^


met Ruth,
thankful ti


at^o


TIC^A




















^V> signs




get a




emy s




love others




rfitionally.



lave an opinion about something on campus
>r in the Accent? Want to write about it? Send
your submissions to [email protected]



Come & meet singer, songwriter, and author

Michael Card

Friday, November 3 at 2 p.m.



Autographing his latest project. Soul Anchor

CD $13.97 Cassette $8.97



220 Hamilton Place Blvd.



T iff^A/^V Chattanooga, TN 37421

iiillftfiAlf stork/- (423)893-4290




Haluska's trip from
army to teaching



God created th<
Sabbath for res




Professional
''crastination"




Bread for the hungry:
A student mission story



myself in E^^gue. Iknov



re barely capable of opei
when [ glanced al Ih

e. It was 730. Immediate-
ry body wnl mto the 'I



icTser'lo God 'aiiVhofleMy Ji^^vo^bo'sfT^/V ^1 °" '^"'"^ ^°^^- st^l

ave really nice sludents [''EK.'nE^roughlhe trash, amount of food. !

:hlng English isn't as "*°'"'^ I"'' ''""'■ ^ '*"'"fih> ' about how often wc

. [ thoughl it wouid I"^^ ^."'"^ '" °^^^ '"10 granled what we hw

I thought that I would r,^ -" "^ ^ ^^- • P^n- forget about th

thai really touched me. w *i jrd'' ' ^'^^ 8^*«^<="'-'s ' Ju^f. "'oufi'" l^

At one point the parent.s really touched






f LATE" convuWons. You wife and daughter did as * Yuuknow we tend to put ^™'^ " ° ^^* ^^^''
- gioH columhist.



If you would like to write for the religion section, please email
[email protected]






ml,h



ren. They repeatedly said miss you guys!
efore 1 really did be^ w usschool.cz>



rluusday, No\'cml)er 9, 2000

Election 2000

How did people in




Vol. 56 No.y
Opinion

Read aboul how some
sludcnls spend ihtir
nights, cither studying,
working or socializing.



Lifestyles

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CoUegedale rejects beer law ordinance



iegedale Commission voted
thai would have allowed on-
cadng establishments buiit



Justin Carris, a sopho-



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mostly elderly
lamented their
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ind would English, favored ihe ordi-

Fire returns to Biology Trail

Fire Marshall closes trail as blaze burns for eight days




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Online LibraryYoung Family AssociationSouthern accent, Sept. 2000-Dec.. 2000 (Volume v.56, pt. 1) → online text (page 6 of 10)