Young Family Association.

Southern accent, Sept. 2000-Dec.. 2000 (Volume v.56, pt. 1) online

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6. The head of your action figure shows up in your mailboni
one day.

5. He sings 'The Name Game" during check.

4. "I'm ready to tell you my secret. I. ..see.. ..alumni."

3. You see him come out ol a dark, empty room during
nightcheck wearing black. .

2. He stops charging a dollar for locking yourself out of yoil
room. Instead, he demands socks. 1

1 . "If you don't clean up your room, I will stab you with thisi

Cynics guide to lif

Tiiurstlay. November IG, 2000


newest single guy of

^^^^^^H^^ Read how one ^^^B^^^^l

^^^fe^^^E^Hu student a stranger ^^^^ J^^H

^^^^^^^^^^I^BI on her one mom- ^^^^^9 ^^^1

'|__JK_1| FAGE7 I y^y* I


h Estrada with taking

removal i

lings Monday aftei

n the Jewish seltli

)uld stiffen W.

COMP 102, speech
classes filled fast


Avant addresses student concerns Southern's auto department

H'EE'?I^!s SrsiiS serves college community

Contact the Accent


The Southern Accent

P.O. Box 370

Collegedale.Teiin. 37315



[email protected]

About the Accent

GettinB a student Lo ai
difficult process, especi

The form is not currently
e 10 use but Ed lamb,
air of the University Sen-
as well as ihe Social
rk and Family Studies.


Professor of English, thinks
thai the biggest problem is

important to the teachere.
per^n'^Jevaluate their own

In her office. Laune K.
Redmer, Southern Ad ven Us t
University's Syrnphony
Orchestra's new director,
l,as a pichire of herself at

direirtJng a gather-


Ted Ashlon. Program-
r/Analysl at SAU. would
undertaking Ihe project

■Changing ihe code relal-

teacher never *^?^ "[^ '^''|

found me walking around
the house with a cigar box,'
Redmer said, -1 had put
strings across the box and

she w

real problem. The more
ublejob comes when indi-

was uang a stick as a bow.



sines and hums and ba-


John Keyes

conliaucd from page 1


on University Drive stress-

ing break. Cater urged


:ampus safety con-


shaking- privileges so

appeal. U

sabig waist of the

Avanl responded by say-

permanenlly banned


not take parking
s seriously

problem that two more cross
walks will most likely he
added with yellow flashing

According to Paul
bSorae a big issue a


by asking what

yellow lights when the road

requested that work


exemption and if

Ihe right of way in cross

Meyers says that the s

-I alw

ys accept appeals

nd the appeal is
lied by an official

they should be worn
dents. Further resear


peals staling that a

legedale police force, added
that pedestrians only have
the right of way when Ihey

ducted regarding the
Ugation raised by me

Redmer named new
orchestra director

-and Ihe music-she loves, pi^^^ ,„ ^^pi ^^i

Tlie [symphony] group ^^^-g orchestra U

is wonderful." she said and Br^l. Within

emphatically, "They sight- (he orchesh^ vnU

ledcstrian cross walks was have dumped sail a
iddrwsod to Avanl by the added liquid lo Ihe si

e floor pus Kitchen.

Campus bicycles were

Meyers responded lo boll

Religion profs answer questions

of students, faculty staff and ^ ^^ ^ly aud

community people. The remember it was ;

man purpose, she says, is to ^^j,-
provide tairnng for Music -j^j^ j^ currently t

Performance majors, (j^j,, conducting job a

-Although many students i,,^ j|, ^^ denominali

are not Music students, ^j^^ ^^^g -^^^ „[ coi

Indeed, maybe 15 of the 70 ^^^- ^ v)oman. and in

Atlantic Union College and Redmer-whohasasi

9*"- adds, -I've been told tl
En?- the best university/co

New York trips
leave this weekeiK

ilion, Collegiate ^^^
'■— '.ogical Soci
a branch o

entisl Tlieological Soci- m-cessibl

logical Society CATS.),

Xafe Chat i

still finding answe;
Said. -Ifs good t(

schedule of meetings


al we hardly dare to ask to life-
ouzel begins with a dcvo- around ca/i
inal and ihen people go Enno Mue

rgarding working on the sion of Cf

dents will go to plac
Ellis Island, different oth

Chinatown and H

_^ Pirates of Penzances
'°"'^'" peformance begins tonight


Thursday, November 16, 2000

lalendar of local events for 11.16-11.22

; of Penzance

10pm Milele Roots
Rhythm & Brews
221 Market St

8p WaterdeepSIO
New City Cafe
Knoxville, TN

Unfortunate Pickers
Jacobs Ladder
231 MLKing

The Beatles Are
Backl Symphony
Pops Concert 8p
Tivoli Theatre

Roots, Rock &

4p Barnard

Audubon Acres

Sunday 11.19

Sugarhill Gang &
The Malemen S12
doors open at 8p
show starts al 9p
221 Market St

Standifer Gap
Recycling Center
open Tuesday-
Fridays; 10a-6p

Other Local Venues
Lizard Lounge
1301 ChesnulSl

applications for tl
1st Annual Roll &
Stroll to benefit tt

Tree hugger?

Wednesday 11.22

Tun7& theTellico
Militia ($5) 10pm
Rhythm & Brews
221 Market St

Tivoli Theatre
701 Broad St

shelter lo live a
These pines a

tiarvesl and j

y lie in the hands of c

■suppliers will clear tobacco ;


Singles of the week "Curing 'singlitis' one life at a time"

Scott Parker, 21Public Relations/ Biology rr

[f Talge Hall c

n fire und y

ing up, what v


"My nude photographs of all my ex-girlfriends...bul seriously, my photograph album."
How does someone go about joining the Scott Parker Fan Club?
"You need to speak with Andrew Massengill, the president. He can be reached at 238.31
What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
"Swimming in the pool."
What do you look for in a woman?

"I have three criteria for a girl: loves God, loves me, loves the outdoors."
When was the last time you went out on a "date"?.


1 21 years...a really long lime

Poor me."

Describe you

r perfect date.

■'Something s

mple. A picnic on top of a hill,

watching the sunseL"

\Vhen was th

e lost time you left the cour

try, and for what r



duras in August 2000 to work a

an orphanage, 1 love

mission work

What is the

nost insane thing you have

ever done?

"I went skydiv



"I was an English professor at Universidad Peruana Union. Thafs

n Peru. Th

When it comes to dating, who should do the asking out?

"My mother, she always seems to know who's "soo cute". 1 tliink the guy should, but the
girl needs to say "YES!!!" and nol expect that just because I'm asking her out that 1 am inter-
ested in an "intense" relationship with her. I just want to get lo know her."

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you want to have?

"Is a woman an item? A Bible, a knife, and matches.. .because cold raU don't taste too good."

If you were described in a song, what would you be?

"If s gonna be me by N'SYNC."

\\%at are your plans for Thanksgiving break?

"Depends on whether or not the cafe is serving Thanksgiving dinner...rm up for sugges-
tions, give me a call (238.3362) or email me (smparker®soulliern.cdu)"


What do you look for in a friend?

"Hmm, well, basically I look for someone i can use as a crulcli.,
If they actually have crutches, tliat's even heller."

What about qualities in a guy?

"He must have a bent propensity towards procrastination and

Who do you think should do the asking out for a date?

The fatJier of the girl should ask the young man lliat tliey find

What sorts of things do you occupy your lime with when

"I work as a sky chef at Chattanooga Aeroporl. Then on the
side I pursue my career in toll-boothing."
What do you notice first about someone when you meet

Teeth. TTieir large canines."
What would you do if you had a stalker?
"I would most certainly slalk them back!"
What is your beat asset'

Battle of the PDAs Legal MP3s all the wa]

I, thus dampening

each file thai identifies JL the rights lo music "se.
10 "remove the watermark this contest have h^

nology. Tlic downsii

ROM or an expansioi
The PalniVx tool

Inally PockelPC r
's iPaq H3650. '

if Princeton, Rice and lei;

SDMi is formed by ove

involved in SDMiS
Tiann, has aln|
led an alliance wiUiM

w members to doll

Best and worst of the we

Catch the bug

i;i;pV/Z>r3S,,c<,n,/ ££;s'»i

3(ll3( IS a company tha is -^ niodcrateiy fa
Mgh duality and (aJl graph- i^'s^K mX

E'riin«n''g,'ii°;»',i i"*~4".ft«i'? Jopfb'mTn'ugrB Ezonics revolutionizes Internet chatting

=iiuit mjiiiiuiijj,,, ii,iiiu:>i p^.^mr^. icon bogan bUnk- make a complainL O

TJ'J:tS:i''oZ ;E'c3a°?iH"t' y™":™^!';'"""" with world's first Internet video phone cam

lzn«°te ™io'°.': ['^j^ /°;, "„°Z"nn"ih° ^hSto. ™r7M'ac Ti ^ot ticw gizijio rescmbles cell phone, makes video chatting eai

lonLinually from Aulomated Jn'«rnet and rarely listens lo [lenguin fans. PLEASANTON. Calif - tiifougli a plug-in USB port paiibic with Windows 98, notebook compur- - J

We;Ub(-r Source's vast net- l*^™"^' ■ Nolveryusefulwitli (BUSINESS WIRE via COl^ wlb no add-in card or Windows ME and Windows Ics has offered i i- " I

It you woula like to write tor the Technology page,

email [email protected] or

kapulfer[email protected]

fame scores

Ji to help Uiem." To start out the game, game Dunkel said. "We did- and ran the ball into die en
dn'l have been Team Dunkel used a time n't play our best, but we zone twice and found Jos
,t is a team game consuming drive capped off played awesome on defense Townsend for another scon

itl Nafie found i
Elvers. Bryce Reading, Reading and Randy N

and finding his Mat

( INutt] hard and he and Bryce got
mindset the play Nafie found Royce
y were for the score. Mark Dietrich

I safety, they called two ti

luchdowns, Miller said, '

from Bell, and

iien asked they nee

m Watson would did. John Appel found Derek

lappened. ! thought

."IE just game plan

■h.™.,.„,„ 0„,hev„,..„p,..»,e, A,fi«,his.„e.d„., yolleyball

londay conversations game scores
dth Yvette Saliba #^^$11


0, whom would I hav

aw were D

Teamjohnson was miss-
ing two of its better players,
and Aitkcn took advantage

Ihey pretty much had their

highlights c

. My RE. Why don't you play rest of Iheir team will shi
1 me that I more sports here? Ed dirRore! Benny, "l

idenltoo.I a viciously compeliUve per- Quo,eof thgWeek


much. If 1 did play more I ^g ^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^

ble Hulk," angry and mean. because volleyball is my


-Shelly Dubosque on why

she didn't sign up for vol-


Best looking athletes

Chad Watkins-

plays every sport known lo n
has a good attitude. This man is The Chad."

Justin Freed-

play volleyball and well, lei's just
say he is good-looking.

Donnie Miller-

e wore an Akili Smilti Jersey thai was really
giy, but he was able to shine through it
ad his team to a championship victory.

Just try lo spike when s

g front line. Amy Slagli


Thanksgiving is just around the comer!
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Pai^■ (i The Souihcm

In support of (fake)
chicken gravy

liable in our illustrious cafe, but Uicy ar

The Southern Accent

Letters to the Editor Election 2000

^l...^ iilSi iiili yi^l^s a likely I

10. Articles/clips from inserting a daffodil into that I'm really happy forall* J •• TTr»l

other schools- newspapers another individual's rectum, tliose people who have had irirlPriQlVP IS

(though Im sure these arc TTial's crude.) Iliat wonderfoi epiphany iXiU.CCidlVC U*v3l|

relevant lo the people 6. All the singles' about the important things

attending those schools). garbage. (Singles this, sin- in lite, but after awhile, their

9. National news articles, gles thaL...SingUli3 is not a articles all. start sounding # /^*-» fTt*A C C

(Newsweek. USA Today disease. «, please don't try , the same,) _ V^OIlHreSS

and CNN seem to have it lo cure iL) 2. Nononfimal articles, ^

I. Multiple Top Ten lisl

Eyes and ears

Causing casual anarchy and ip
giving popcorn advice.

m the grass in yards of

Bipartisan legislaQ

can reflect on Election

means by which tiie

iegardless of whether

measures. Both part

different approaches

Vice President Al Gore

handling importani

such as Social Secu

cuts. Ihe federal suri

country's closest presi-

prescription drug co

sident will be challenged

1 the 107th U,S. Con-

^. which is split nearly

lally between Democrats

. Republicans in both the


ty members in the House

doubt and lack of leg

Mandy Siieari- k

Design/Graphics Editor

Design/Graphics Editor

or every-

parking lot, is a boy's car.

uicumbente. Voters elected

tag. Aww. He has,

andeaL Do not leave pop-

ising. A

Stabenow defeated one-lerm

usual procedure? 1 wonder.

the popcorn. If you lack

Republican Sen. Spence

1 peek at his tickets: one

knowledge in microwave

up representation in the U S

House with voters electing

er one to

separate tickets on the same

Cre alarms for two weeks.

continue walking.,. and see

. Unfortunately, American

Bush or

hang lag hi Ihis car. There is


is obviously split in polili™!

ThanksgiwiB? Is tiie eafetc-

voting has trickled into the

ly have an explanation for

ti-^s legislative body

I Ihmk


Ah. Southern hospitaiily

^W^hoW^ ""^ ""ajorily

The Southern Accent P;li

hat I The art of procrastination Stranger on the couch

'°°All°iho2nmneiBkeADD Perhaps in olden days it -^ tod llie [MelliEcnl idea dial

Harmony and ADHD run Ihrongli "", eemmon tor sUmjers ^^M maybe we slioold call Ihe,

■nilerson your head, men ,00, en.™ 10 tajck on door, ,n my ^^B Jo\e"f P«l£=. „„.,.„„.,.:

lo the small brick cubicle neighborhood. Perhaps ^^HV^ Harrell The conversation with

that you call your room you salesmen and Girl Scouts ^^^^ ^^ dispatcher was a new

are reUeved when Ihe phone "/„ '^^"""J'jjj^J^y^" ^^^^ ""^S.'wetovSTman on'


eally dumb.

D/^ -l-m sorry, I can't

I , REALLY have to study

•^-'» Ok Vni, f«.1 litp ,

Big Three.

)out the cat and the ket

phone ^^ Jehovah's Witness

r^ljon petualiy open lo unltnot

nee, it is very rare 1
itrangcrs lo knock on o

le online Joker, you happen

people. The Student i

one of the plywood beams.., '"81

And suddenly, it hits you. "-

You probably have a disor- "

der of some sort Why can't ">""i
you just STUDY?

posed lo be studying, ^"'^

1^^ "Mr. Gore, stay with I
F^^ West Palm Beach" I


3ke in her bedroom w
ose to face the da
Ided down the hall
1 stumbled into the b

arly early enough for

We spent long minutes
ddled in the bedroom,
mbling and analyzing th^;

six-lane high- sleepingonourcouch, Inhis.,
ached uo into underwear,
d shoulders. . Fmally the police pulled.

Tback^Z stood awkwi^dly b

S^daTu'suX sLp And Ih'ankfiilly. they w

^r is simpler (^.
7lnd tofishtthe

d walked dowi

£IH7j5 How to communicate with men

n Paul and Nicole John-

To know Jesus better

m^^ Daniel
■^H Olson


■d about next semes-

things in life to think about

E^ Amber



pied with his team's prob-
tions their dwindling bank

to verbalize iheir concerns
during the situation. While
the man may be willing to

are movies, dating, shop-

IHB Rlsinger

their communication.

account Watching sports is

listen, he would prefer to sit

levant lo you.

ping, sports and holidays



an enjoyable relaxation that

quietly and talk later, when

ase. keep sending in


about things in life thai real-
ly aren't that bad? Do you


pastor that it brought com-

When offering advice
about relationships, sugges-

t>-pes and generalizations.

tition, and a man feels sue-
So let the man watch qui-
etly. If you need to. ask ques-

'^Rule Ihrxje: Don't pre^


family who loves us. we are



people don't have one at all!

The only tiling that can spoil

Jesus was right there wth
him. The _ paslor was


eons during the commer-

pretty inBcnsilive somts
times. They unknowmgly

dy I! a junior English

everything is a bad attimde.

"'^^woi^en-o "^ibS"

strale their socallcd knowl-

and (he Accent Editor-

Did you just fail your test?

Last week I was sent a

ly feel God's presence. They

woman prefers a concise

Uibgs that hurt a woman's

^^% nai

^ToXstt^Ss ^um^r?

dying. I won't include all the

said good night

tor his team. He will appred-
ate your understanding and

feelings. But men can be

"One ol the tilings ilini

Someone just discovered

details just enough to tell the

love, and he will be willing to

they have cancer Your

boi*iend didn't compliment
your hair? Someone just got

Writing about improving

^ ffl

Lels call the man Tad

looked as though he didn't

a risky proposition, as the

thing meaningful to say


A stereotype of genders is

would die. He had spoken to

obli^ous to the obvious.

r^^^ ^mffiM

Someone is being raped in a

his family and friends and he

ply feU asleep. She contin-

demeanor, Sohciling for

shopping (or hours, while


back alley. You don't have

was ready to go.

ued on by telling the pastor

opinions and advice from

His daughter Ann was at

hopchiUy bridge an under-

approach - grab the first pair

every oUier night for din-

his home taking care of him

one thing. The pastor lis-
tened lo her share, Ann said

of kliakis that fit and leave.



Tad lay in his quiet room

bed. I wonder why."

advice is a generalization.

release while shopping simi-

then' explain why Men



This week I'm going to
pray that we will think about
the things that are really

rup^'ten "while" IhV^e

watching sports.

free meandering of brows-
chases as a challenge.

ive a com-

their heart broken. Maybe

^jepaslor told him that Ann

important in life, I want lo be

Short of Daunting topless
or burning down the house.

And those qualities ore

wonderfully different, gen-

snt? Send
ur opinion

we should look at the things
tht,y are really dial bad.

Politely the Pastor asked
if it was okay that he slay
and lalk for a while. Tad
kindly agreed. They talked

with Him. If you and I could

we would be much happier.

women will Und it difficult lo
distract men engaged in
watching sporUng events.
Rest assured, men love

son forM>^g something," a
male friend advises. The

enir Bodi e'Snilcr5''S

>lutnns or


Sem'^ries ''S" UfS'^chaf

We wouldn't waste time
thinking about things that

phone to his girlfriend, but

emolions - antl ^|^''-'|'|j'|^

lets to tlie

5ery p""lSc^m^at

''XlTe'^Sor was saying

aren't important. We'd pray

time with their significant
other. According to John

she Mi's |vithoutareason^^

right time and (be nKhl

iditor to

my lite really isn't that had. 1

good night to Tad he asked

much less then us, lliose

Gray, author of Mm arcAom
Mats. Women are from

sometimes she has nothing

have so much to be happy

to say.- he added.


Venus, men experience a

One female friend said

have the big {important)


Sfita fetter, doni you?


boyfriend often is because
she is thinking of him. The

JQunialian major from Mary-

thing he'd never told anyone

when watching a compeii-


Thursday, November 16,

'The Dog' knows best

nohody lo "No crises wen; predi

indecision 2000


Things heard in senate

By Rob York

10. "Wow, Wohlers is as strict as they say."

9. "So, for future reference, can we impeach you?"

8. "So he's SA president. I thought he'd be taller."

7. "Can we adjourn? It's just gonna get veto'd anyway."

6. "My constitu-whats?"

5. "Now we've got Bielz right where he wants us."

4. "I don't know, I just thought Senate would look good <

Tuesday, November 21, 2000

Campus News

Read about why two
PUC sludenl m
in Bolivia had i

Vol. 56 No. 11

s tliankful for this

the Accent and find

who's heen

drugs into Collegedalc.


. /*f^

Pirates of Penzance
production a success

Church, Southern
give to community

Students rate their
Southern education

ulhcr„Ad,™a,.Unl- „,
Study conducted by ^^^

escnted has been

p Southern Adventi

How well is Southern
meeting students' expectations?

School of Visual Art and
Design to create statue

Elijah statue will be placed on
mall in front of Wright Hall

Statue has a landmark to its (.jjignjpd loward aji
campus, followinE the fool- ■ ^^^^^ ^^ Elisha.

versity and LaSierra Univer- ^^-^^.^ ^^^^^ i^^ ^

ran aJtcr Elijah. ^^ , ^f'^^^^ Rmite."
■d-by.' he said, ^" ' ^^^^^^ ggurt-
he set out 10 fol- ^nn^U.i^'^HnTPn. vvl

dom and education.' said ^^^ „( Ages quar
the English department and ^^-^^ summer to bef

Contact the Accent

The Soulhem Accent

P.O. Box 370

Collegedale. Tenn. 37315



accent @ soulhem .edu

About the Accent

^^, "^^-^ XdwluuT^tiidmtsdiSeligechurch lead«|

, ..„ c.a.h.i:.':™ s™ruS to support pubUc campus initiatives

adoplcd the -Beriteley

urch 10 give cliaplainc

Resolution." calling o

Advenlisl Church Id — ^

-serious aUenlion and sup- departmentoflhe church in

gelism on non-Adventisl uni- emphasis by Adventis

j^ orphan Feeling
nedtobea he returns

5 beautiful, return bai

Advendst grou

birlh- duced M "ihe University of -anm,"a!^ co'nferenees and university sH

California. Berkeley, by del- ^^^^^ gvents lo train public secular and A

fduly. egnles 10 Berkeley 2000 campus student leaders on puses, ^adu;

eship CB2K). a first-ever galhenng Biblical principles of leader- AdvenUst yo

lel to ofAdvenlistsludentsspeafi- ship and evangelism." communieaUoi

years, cally focused on secular -p^e proposal calls on the als and church

jrslhal campus evangelism and Advenlist Church in North events include

an-ccs nunistry. America to designate a year, nars and plen

Queen Victoria. Upon

lelp Acci


ihe world." Dcleg
attending B2K. which

." The Berkeley Reso- Williams,
also requests that the the Camf
h in Nortii America Church ir

Advenlist college and uni-

Local universities offer |
Adventist ministries

Student missionaries on fundraising tour in United Statd

r tor the

3 Angeles, San

Jordan Wareham, 20, and
States until the end of Ihe

Jeff John!

have rclur



■^ . ""' "'^y"^- really helpful.-
i about gemng plane Warehnm added, "I kno^J "°-"

Mind the s

Tuesday, November 21,

Meet the editors of the SouthernAccen

If you cSd Mimnlt imj crane «hM ™uld i.
"■Gnmdlhrta.lo.Delinild,- t-

Tuesday, November 21, !

Meet the Accent Editors continued...

•Good night! Oh my word! Man Alivel"

ily T have to go lo bed al an early hour because of my early work

■Lynn Caldwi

er smuggled dri „

|What 19 your nightly routim

iggled drugs into Callegt

ing are you kmnvn for?

1 2 3 4 5 6 8 10

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