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6. The head of your action figure shows up in your mailboni
one day.

5. He sings 'The Name Game" during check.

4. "I'm ready to tell you my secret. I. ..see.. ..alumni."

3. You see him come out ol a dark, empty room during
nightcheck wearing black. .

2. He stops charging a dollar for locking yourself out of yoil
room. Instead, he demands socks. 1

1 . "If you don't clean up your room, I will stab you with thisi
lighter."



Cynics guide to lif




Tiiurstlay. November IG, 2000



Lifestyles

newest single guy of



^^^^^^H^^ Read how one ^^^B^^^^l

^^^fe^^^E^Hu student a stranger ^^^^ J^^H

^^^^^^^^^^I^BI on her one mom- ^^^^^9 ^^^1

'|__JK_1| FAGE7 I y^y* I

TheSoutbemAc




h Estrada with taking



removal i
)SCOW — I



lings Monday aftei

n the Jewish seltli
DfOfraandShilo-An

)uld stiffen W.



COMP 102, speech
classes filled fast




OKYO










Avant addresses student concerns Southern's auto department

H'EE'?I^!s SrsiiS serves college community




Contact the Accent




cultyAdvko



The Southern Accent

P.O. Box 370

Collegedale.Teiin. 37315

(423)238-2721

hllp://accenl.soulheni.edu

[email protected]

About the Accent



GettinB a student Lo ai
difficult process, especi



The form is not currently
e 10 use but Ed lamb,
air of the University Sen-
as well as ihe Social
rk and Family Studies.

TwdS'l^horhSl


Professor of English, thinks
thai the biggest problem is

important to the teachere.
per^n'^Jevaluate their own


In her office. Laune K.
Redmer, Southern Ad ven Us t
University's Syrnphony
Orchestra's new director,
l,as a pichire of herself at

direirtJng a musjc.il gather-


enth-da


Ted Ashlon. Program-
r/Analysl at SAU. would
undertaking Ihe project

■Changing ihe code relal-


teacher never *^?^ "[^ '^''|
lhefo™iltformeUiats


found me walking around
the house with a cigar box,'
Redmer said, -1 had put
strings across the box and


During
she w


real problem. The more
ublejob comes when indi-




was uang a stick as a bow.


Red


. CLASSES




sines and hums and ba-


mPrnTn



John Keyes







conliaucd from page 1




'7™




on University Drive stress-


ing break. Cater urged


although


:ampus safety con-


SteTo5feTlhS'"buS


shaking- privileges so


appeal. U


sabig waist of the


Avanl responded by say-


permanenlly banned


rcgulatio


not take parking
s seriously


problem that two more cross
walks will most likely he
added with yellow flashing


According to Paul
bSorae a big issue a


■^^^''n


by asking what


yellow lights when the road


requested that work


Ih'eito


exemption and if


Ihe right of way in cross


Meyers says that the s


-I alw


ys accept appeals

nd the appeal is
lied by an official




they should be worn
dents. Further resear


sSt''


peals staling that a


legedale police force, added
that pedestrians only have
the right of way when Ihey


ducted regarding the
Ugation raised by me



Redmer named new
orchestra director



-and Ihe music-she loves, pi^^^ ,„ ^^pi ^^i

Tlie [symphony] group ^^^-g orchestra U

is wonderful." she said and Br^l. Within

emphatically, "They sight- (he orchesh^ vnU



ledcstrian cross walks was have dumped sail a
iddrwsod to Avanl by the added liquid lo Ihe si



e floor pus Kitchen.



Campus bicycles were



Meyers responded lo boll



Religion profs answer questions



of students, faculty staff and ^ ^^ ^ly aud

community people. The remember it was ;

man purpose, she says, is to ^^j,-
provide tairnng for Music -j^j^ j^ currently t

Performance majors, (j^j,, conducting job a

-Although many students i,,^ j|, ^^ denominali

are not Music students, ^j^^ ^^^g -^^^ „[ coi

Indeed, maybe 15 of the 70 ^^^- ^ v)oman. and in



Atlantic Union College and Redmer-whohasasi

9*"- adds, -I've been told tl
En?- the best university/co




New York trips
leave this weekeiK



ilion, Collegiate ^^^
'■— '.ogical Soci
a branch o



entisl Tlieological Soci- m-cessibl



logical Society CATS.),



Xafe Chat i



still finding answe;
Said. -Ifs good t(



schedule of meetings



religi



al we hardly dare to ask to life-
ouzel begins with a dcvo- around ca/i
inal and ihen people go Enno Mue

rgarding working on the sion of Cf



dents will go to plac
Ellis Island, different oth

Chinatown and H



_^ Pirates of Penzances
'°"'^'" peformance begins tonight



ffl




Thursday, November 16, 2000



lalendar of local events for 11.16-11.22



; of Penzance
h SAU ID



10pm Milele Roots
Rhythm & Brews
221 Market St
267.4644

8p WaterdeepSIO
New City Cafe
Knoxville, TN
(423.544.0100)

Unfortunate Pickers
Jacobs Ladder
231 MLKing
267.0384



The Beatles Are
Backl Symphony
Pops Concert 8p
Tivoli Theatre

Roots, Rock &



4p Barnard
Astfonomical
Society

Audubon Acres
892.1499



Sunday 11.19

Sugarhill Gang &
The Malemen S12
doors open at 8p
show starts al 9p
Rhythm&Brews
221 Market St
267.4644



Standifer Gap
Recycling Center
open Tuesday-
Fridays; 10a-6p



Other Local Venues
Lizard Lounge
1301 ChesnulSl



applications for tl
1st Annual Roll &
Stroll to benefit tt



Tree hugger?



Wednesday 11.22

Tun7& theTellico
Militia ($5) 10pm
Rhythm & Brews
221 Market St



Tivoli Theatre
701 Broad St
757.5050



shelter lo live a
These pines a

tiarvesl and j



y lie in the hands of c



■suppliers will clear tobacco ;




iiGt'assrootsMusiQ^feo




Singles of the week "Curing 'singlitis' one life at a time"



Scott Parker, 21Public Relations/ Biology rr



[f Talge Hall c



n fire und y



ing up, what v



)uldy



"My nude photographs of all my ex-girlfriends...bul seriously, my photograph album."
How does someone go about joining the Scott Parker Fan Club?
"You need to speak with Andrew Massengill, the president. He can be reached at 238.31
What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
"Swimming in the pool."
What do you look for in a woman?

"I have three criteria for a girl: loves God, loves me, loves the outdoors."
When was the last time you went out on a "date"?.



"Ifsbeenabo


1 21 years...a really long lime


Poor me."




Describe you


r perfect date.






■'Something s


mple. A picnic on top of a hill,


watching the sunseL"




\Vhen was th


e lost time you left the cour


try, and for what r


^son?


"IwenttoHon


duras in August 2000 to work a


an orphanage, 1 love


mission work


What is the


nost insane thing you have


ever done?




"I went skydiv


KiSftasJulhJ&Sri'S,*


meric-




"I was an English professor at Universidad Peruana Union. Thafs


n Peru. Th



When it comes to dating, who should do the asking out?

"My mother, she always seems to know who's "soo cute". 1 tliink the guy should, but the
girl needs to say "YES!!!" and nol expect that just because I'm asking her out that 1 am inter-
ested in an "intense" relationship with her. I just want to get lo know her."

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you want to have?

"Is a woman an item? A Bible, a knife, and matches.. .because cold raU don't taste too good."

If you were described in a song, what would you be?

"If s gonna be me by N'SYNC."

\\%at are your plans for Thanksgiving break?

"Depends on whether or not the cafe is serving Thanksgiving dinner...rm up for sugges-
tions, give me a call (238.3362) or email me (smparker®soulliern.cdu)"




Sculpture/Mac



What do you look for in a friend?

"Hmm, well, basically I look for someone i can use as a crulcli.,
If they actually have crutches, tliat's even heller."

What about qualities in a guy?

"He must have a bent propensity towards procrastination and
sloth."

Who do you think should do the asking out for a date?

The fatJier of the girl should ask the young man lliat tliey find
suilable."

What sorts of things do you occupy your lime with when

"I work as a sky chef at Chattanooga Aeroporl. Then on the
side I pursue my career in toll-boothing."
What do you notice first about someone when you meet

Teeth. TTieir large canines."
What would you do if you had a stalker?
"I would most certainly slalk them back!"
What is your beat asset'




Battle of the PDAs Legal MP3s all the wa]



I, thus dampening



each file thai identifies JL the rights lo music "se.
10 "remove the watermark this contest have h^



nology. Tlic downsii

ROM or an expansioi
The PalniVx tool



Inally PockelPC r
's iPaq H3650. '



if Princeton, Rice and lei;



SDMi is formed by ove



involved in SDMiS
Tiann, has aln|
led an alliance wiUiM

w members to doll



Best and worst of the we



Catch the bug



i;i;pV/Z>r3S,,c<,n,/ ££;s'»i

3(ll3( IS a company tha is -^ niodcrateiy fa
Mgh duality and (aJl graph- i^'s^K mX



E'riin«n''g,'ii°;»',i i"*~4".ft«i'? Jopfb'mTn'ugrB Ezonics revolutionizes Internet chatting

=iiuit mjiiiiuiijj,,, ii,iiiu:>i p^.^mr^. icon bogan bUnk- make a complainL O

TJ'J:tS:i''oZ ;E'c3a°?iH"t' y™":™^!';'"""" with world's first Internet video phone cam

lzn«°te ™io'°.': ['^j^ /°;, "„°Z"nn"ih° ^hSto. ™r7M'ac Ti ^ot ticw gizijio rescmbles cell phone, makes video chatting eai

lonLinually from Aulomated Jn'«rnet and rarely listens lo [lenguin fans. PLEASANTON. Calif - tiifougli a plug-in USB port paiibic with Windows 98, notebook compur- - J

We;Ub(-r Source's vast net- l*^™"^' ■ Nolveryusefulwitli (BUSINESS WIRE via COl^ wlb no add-in card or Windows ME and Windows Ics has offered i i- " I




It you woula like to write tor the Technology page,

email [email protected] or

kapulfer[email protected]




[Championship
fame scores






Ji to help Uiem." To start out the game, game Dunkel said. "We did- and ran the ball into die en
dn'l have been Team Dunkel used a time n't play our best, but we zone twice and found Jos
,t is a team game consuming drive capped off played awesome on defense Townsend for another scon



itl Nafie found i
Elvers. Bryce Reading, Reading and Randy N



and finding his Mat



( INutt] hard and he and Bryce got
mindset the play Nafie found Royce
y were for the score. Mark Dietrich



I safety, they called two ti



luchdowns, Miller said, '






from Bell, and



iien asked they nee



m Watson would did. John Appel found Derek






lappened. ! thought



."IE just game plan



■h.™.,.„,„ 0„,hev„,..„p,..»,e, A,fi«,his.„e.d„., yolleyball

londay conversations game scores
dth Yvette Saliba #^^$11



ardlygoesanywhci



0, whom would I hav






Iwasplayinj
aw were D



Teamjohnson was miss-
ing two of its better players,
and Aitkcn took advantage

Ihey pretty much had their



highlights c



. My RE. Why don't you play rest of Iheir team will shi
1 me that I more sports here? Ed dirRore! Benny, "l

idenltoo.I a viciously compeliUve per- Quo,eof thgWeek



dlok-



much. If 1 did play more I ^g ^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^

ble Hulk," angry and mean. because volleyball is my

game."

-Shelly Dubosque on why

she didn't sign up for vol-

Teyball.



Best looking athletes




Chad Watkins-

plays every sport known lo n
has a good attitude. This man is The Chad."







Justin Freed-

play volleyball and well, lei's just
say he is good-looking.



Donnie Miller-

e wore an Akili Smilti Jersey thai was really
giy, but he was able to shine through it
ad his team to a championship victory.



Just try lo spike when s




g front line. Amy Slagli




Talk
Turkey



Thanksgiving is just around the comer!
Start saving now with a Prepaid Phone Card
Show your Parents just how smart you are.

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CALL
YAK ATTACK REDUCTION



Pai^■ (i The Souihcm




In support of (fake)
chicken gravy



liable in our illustrious cafe, but Uicy ar




The Southern Accent






Letters to the Editor Election 2000

^l...^ iilSi iiili yi^l^s a likely I

10. Articles/clips from inserting a daffodil into that I'm really happy forall* J •• TTr»l

other schools- newspapers another individual's rectum, tliose people who have had irirlPriQlVP IS

(though Im sure these arc TTial's crude.) Iliat wonderfoi epiphany iXiU.CCidlVC U*v3l|

relevant lo the people 6. All the singles' about the important things

attending those schools). garbage. (Singles this, sin- in lite, but after awhile, their

9. National news articles, gles thaL...SingUli3 is not a articles all. start sounding # /^*-» fTt*A C C

(Newsweek. USA Today disease. «, please don't try , the same,) _ V^OIlHreSS

and CNN seem to have it lo cure iL) 2. Nononfimal articles, ^



I. Multiple Top Ten lisl



Eyes and ears

Causing casual anarchy and ip
giving popcorn advice.



m the grass in yards of


Bipartisan legislaQ






can reflect on Election


means by which tiie






iegardless of whether


measures. Both part




different approaches


Vice President Al Gore


handling importani




such as Social Secu




cuts. Ihe federal suri


country's closest presi-


prescription drug co






sident will be challenged




1 the 107th U,S. Con-




^. which is split nearly




lally between Democrats




. Republicans in both the






irywilllooktothele






ty members in the House










doubt and lack of leg



Mandy Siieari- k



Design/Graphics Editor



Design/Graphics Editor



or every-


parking lot, is a boy's car.












uicumbente. Voters elected




tag. Aww. He has onc.no,


andeaL Do not leave pop-












ising. A






Stabenow defeated one-lerm




usual procedure? 1 wonder.


the popcorn. If you lack


Republican Sen. Spence




1 peek at his tickets: one


knowledge in microwave










up representation in the U S








House with voters electing


















er one to


separate tickets on the same


Cre alarms for two weeks.






















continue walking.,. and see




. Unfortunately, American


















Bush or


hang lag hi Ihis car. There is














preadenl






is obviously split in polili™!














ThanksgiwiB? Is tiie eafetc-


voting has trickled into the












ly have an explanation for




ti-^s legislative body


























I Ihmk


S^SrI"fiSL!^^Ih"^"'


Ah. Southern hospitaiily


^W^hoW^ ""^ ""ajorily



The Southern Accent P;li



hat I The art of procrastination Stranger on the couch

'°°All°iho2nmneiBkeADD Perhaps in olden days it -^ tod llie [MelliEcnl idea dial

Harmony and ADHD run Ihrongli "", eemmon tor sUmjers ^^M maybe we slioold call Ihe,

■nilerson your head, men ,00, en.™ 10 tajck on door, ,n my ^^B Jo\e"f P«l£=. „„.,.„„.,.:

lo the small brick cubicle neighborhood. Perhaps ^^HV^ Harrell The conversation with

that you call your room you salesmen and Girl Scouts ^^^^ ^^ dispatcher was a new

are reUeved when Ihe phone "/„ '^^"""J'jjj^J^y^" ^^^^ ""^S.'wetovSTman on'



learned



eally dumb.

D/^ -l-m sorry, I can't

I , REALLY have to study

•^-'» Ok Vni, f«.1 litp ,



ANOTHER op
Big Three.



)out the cat and the ket



phone ^^ Jehovah's Witness

r^ljon petualiy open lo unltnot

nee, it is very rare 1
itrangcrs lo knock on o






le online Joker, you happen






people. The Student i

one of the plywood beams.., '"81

And suddenly, it hits you. "-

You probably have a disor- "

der of some sort Why can't ">""i
you just STUDY?

posed lo be studying, ^"'^






1^^ "Mr. Gore, stay with I
F^^ West Palm Beach" I



KJeff



3ke in her bedroom w
ose to face the da
Ided down the hall
1 stumbled into the b



arly early enough for



We spent long minutes
ddled in the bedroom,
mbling and analyzing th^;



six-lane high- sleepingonourcouch, Inhis.,
ached uo into underwear,
d shoulders. . Fmally the police pulled.



Tback^Z stood awkwi^dly b






S^daTu'suX sLp And Ih'ankfiilly. they w



^r is simpler (^.
7lnd tofishtthe



d walked dowi



£IH7j5 How to communicate with men



n Paul and Nicole John-



To know Jesus better



m^^ Daniel
■^H Olson

s



■d about next semes-


things in life to think about


E^ Amber


w^TopraytoJesus'be^use


PaullSJ^n^?amoS;^


pied with his team's prob-
tions their dwindling bank


to verbalize iheir concerns
during the situation. While
the man may be willing to




are movies, dating, shop-


IHB Rlsinger


their communication.


account Watching sports is


listen, he would prefer to sit


levant lo you.


ping, sports and holidays


ii'V:;


fiienTadvicewaslopullup


an enjoyable relaxation that


quietly and talk later, when


ase. keep sending in


much,

about things in life thai real-
ly aren't that bad? Do you


l^'A


pastor that it brought com-


When offering advice
about relationships, sugges-

t>-pes and generalizations.


tition, and a man feels sue-
So let the man watch qui-
etly. If you need to. ask ques-


'^Rule Ihrxje: Don't pre^


mcrrdoffcrlohelj!


family who loves us. we are


"^EsZTZlnbe


Se^d^encr^


people don't have one at all!


The only tiling that can spoil


Jesus was right there wth
him. The _ paslor was


rHtF£€;


eons during the commer-


pretty inBcnsilive somts
times. They unknowmgly


dy I! a junior English




everything is a bad attimde.




"'^^woi^en-o "^ibS"


strale their socallcd knowl-


and (he Accent Editor-


Did you just fail your test?


Last week I was sent a


ly feel God's presence. They


woman prefers a concise




Uibgs that hurt a woman's


^^% nai


^ToXstt^Ss ^um^r?


dying. I won't include all the


said good night


tor his team. He will appred-
ate your understanding and


feelings. But men can be
helped.

"One ol the tilings ilini




Someone just discovered


details just enough to tell the






love, and he will be willing to




they have cancer Your

boi*iend didn't compliment
your hair? Someone just got






Writing about improving




^ ffl


Lels call the man Tad
(justforfijn).Tadwasanold


looked as though he didn't


a risky proposition, as the


thing meaningful to say


SmT^s^r]!










A stereotype of genders is








would die. He had spoken to








obli^ous to the obvious.


r^^^ ^mffiM


Someone is being raped in a


his family and friends and he


ply feU asleep. She contin-


demeanor, Sohciling for


shopping (or hours, while


IMK^tifHll!


back alley. You don't have


was ready to go.


ued on by telling the pastor


opinions and advice from








His daughter Ann was at




hopchiUy bridge an under-


approach - grab the first pair




every oUier night for din-


his home taking care of him


one thing. The pastor lis-
tened lo her share, Ann said


of kliakis that fit and leave.








iiail


SyTomrand";^


Tad lay in his quiet room


bed. I wonder why."


advice is a generalization.


release while shopping simi-


then' explain why Men


iisi


!'o°°go°T'collese"bot"it




This week I'm going to
pray that we will think about
the things that are really


rup^'ten "while" IhV^e

watching sports.


free meandering of brows-
chases as a challenge.


ive a com-


their heart broken. Maybe


^jepaslor told him that Ann


important in life, I want lo be


Short of Daunting topless
or burning down the house.


And those qualities ore


wonderfully different, gen-


snt? Send
ur opinion


we should look at the things
wecomplaifiaboutandseeif
tht,y are really dial bad.


Politely the Pastor asked
if it was okay that he slay
and lalk for a while. Tad
kindly agreed. They talked


Knowjesuswasinlheroom
with Him. If you and I could

we would be much happier.


women will Und it difficult lo
distract men engaged in
watching sporUng events.
Rest assured, men love


son forM>^g something," a
male friend advises. The


enir Bodi e'Snilcr5''S


>lutnns or


""tl'Swm'SbSirin'


Sem'^ries ''S" UfS'^chaf


We wouldn't waste time
thinking about things that


phone to his girlfriend, but


emolions - antl ^|^''-'|'|j'|^


lets to tlie


5ery p""lSc^m^at


''XlTe'^Sor was saying


aren't important. We'd pray


time with their significant
other. According to John


she Mi's |vithoutareason^^


right time and (be nKhl


iditor to


my lite really isn't that had. 1


good night to Tad he asked


much less then us, lliose


Gray, author of Mm arcAom
Mats. Women are from


sometimes she has nothing




have so much to be happy






to say.- he added.




"iIdaouthern.edu








Venus, men experience a


One female friend said






have the big {important)


"T^WwX'^^Lme-


Sfita fetter, doni you?


Ehi^soTSl'ir^^Jbfera


boyfriend often is because
she is thinking of him. The


JQunialian major from Mary-






thing he'd never told anyone




when watching a compeii-


an.




Thursday, November 16,



'The Dog' knows best






nohody lo "No crises wen; predi



indecision 2000




16



Things heard in senate

By Rob York

10. "Wow, Wohlers is as strict as they say."

9. "So, for future reference, can we impeach you?"

8. "So he's SA president. I thought he'd be taller."

7. "Can we adjourn? It's just gonna get veto'd anyway."

6. "My constitu-whats?"

5. "Now we've got Bielz right where he wants us."

4. "I don't know, I just thought Senate would look good <



Tuesday, November 21, 2000

Campus News

Read about why two
PUC sludenl m
in Bolivia had i




Vol. 56 No. 11
Opinion



s tliankful for this




the Accent and find

who's heen

drugs into Collegedalc.



IneSoulbemAi




. /*f^



Pirates of Penzance
production a success




Church, Southern
give to community






Students rate their
Southern education



ulhcr„Ad,™a,.Unl- „,
Study conducted by ^^^



escnted has been



p Southern Adventi



How well is Southern
meeting students' expectations?




School of Visual Art and
Design to create statue

Elijah statue will be placed on
mall in front of Wright Hall



Statue has a landmark to its (.jjignjpd loward aji
campus, followinE the fool- ■ ^^^^^ ^^ Elisha.

versity and LaSierra Univer- ^^-^^.^ ^^^^^ i^^ ^



ran aJtcr Elijah. ^^ , ^f'^^^^ Rmite."
■d-by.' he said, ^" ' ^^^^^^ ggurt-
he set out 10 fol- ^nn^U.i^'^HnTPn. vvl



dom and education.' said ^^^ „( Ages quar
the English department and ^^-^^ summer to bef



Contact the Accent



The Soulhem Accent

P.O. Box 370

Collegedale. Tenn. 37315

(423)238-2721

hnp://accent.soulhem.edu

accent @ soulhem .edu

About the Accent



^^, "^^-^ XdwluuT^tiidmtsdiSeligechurch lead«|

, ..„ c.a.h.i:.':™ s™ruS to support pubUc campus initiatives



adoplcd the -Beriteley

urch 10 give cliaplainc



Resolution." calling o

Advenlisl Church Id — ^

-serious aUenlion and sup- departmentoflhe church in

gelism on non-Adventisl uni- emphasis by Adventis



j^ orphan Feeling
nedtobea he returns

5 beautiful, return bai



Advendst grou

birlh- duced M "ihe University of -anm,"a!^ co'nferenees and university sH

California. Berkeley, by del- ^^^^^ gvents lo train public secular and A

fduly. egnles 10 Berkeley 2000 campus student leaders on puses, ^adu;

eship CB2K). a first-ever galhenng Biblical principles of leader- AdvenUst yo

lel to ofAdvenlistsludentsspeafi- ship and evangelism." communieaUoi

years, cally focused on secular -p^e proposal calls on the als and church

jrslhal campus evangelism and Advenlist Church in North events include

an-ccs nunistry. America to designate a year, nars and plen



Queen Victoria. Upon



lelp Acci



T.lhei



ihe world." Dcleg
attending B2K. which



." The Berkeley Reso- Williams,
also requests that the the Camf
h in Nortii America Church ir



Advenlist college and uni-




Local universities offer |
Adventist ministries




Student missionaries on fundraising tour in United Statd



r tor the



3 Angeles, San



Jordan Wareham, 20, and
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Tuesday, November 21,



Meet the editors of the SouthernAccen




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Tuesday, November 21, !



Meet the Accent Editors continued...



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ily T have to go lo bed al an early hour because of my early work

■Lynn Caldwi

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Online LibraryYoung Family AssociationSouthern accent, Sept. 2000-Dec.. 2000 (Volume v.56, pt. 1) → online text (page 8 of 10)